I passed my baby today *WARNING explicit description*
When I found out that I suffered from a missed miscarriage I desperately sought details about how a natural miscarriage would be. I could find very few descriptions of natural miscarriages unless they happened quite early on in pregnancy. My baby lived to almost 11 weeks. I'd like to share my experience for anyone that is wondering what may lie ahead.
I found that my baby had passed away during a 12 week ultrasound. At that point my hcg was taken and it was still around 15,000. I was still feeling pregnant, still having morning sickness. I hadn't had any spotting or cramping in my pregnancy. It was quite a shock.
My doctor gave me the option to deliver in the hospital with cytotec, to have a d&c, or to go home and wait. I feel very strongly that no matter how early the baby died he was still my baby and that his body needed to be treated with respect. I couldn't do the d&c.
Fast forward about one week. I started with mild contractions. It was a surprise to me... I had assumed I would have menstrual cramps, not rhythmic contractions. This continued for 24 hours before I had any spotting at all. This continued for two days with little progress.
On Sunday night I started to have slightly heavier flow, more like a light period. The cramping became more intense and on Monday I started taking my darvocet.
Tuesday when I woke up my cramping was quite intense. I still wasn't bleeding much. It was still like a light period. I was having intense feelings like I needed to have a bowel movement. I sat on the toilet and my water suddenly broke and out came baby Jabez. It felt like a small water balloon was popped inside me. He came out attached to his umbilical cord, but the sac and placenta didn't come out with him.
I got up to get my specimen cup to put him in and blood started to pour out of me. I've never seen so much blood in my life! I thought that it would quickly slow, but after a few minutes I realized this wasn't going to be the case. I had my husband come home so he could take me to see my doctor. I showered and nearly fainted while doing so. When I went to climb out I got sick to my stomach and needed to sit down right away! My husband helped me get dressed and drove me to my doctor's office.
Blood poured out of me when I stood up to remove my pants. I had blood trailing all the way down both legs. I panicked and started crying. My doctor was so sweet and took care of me. She put me in stirrups and wiped me off with warm washcloths.
My doctor then started the internal exam. She saw part of the placenta still attached just inside my uterus. Tiny forceps were used to remove the placenta. That was extremely painful, but it only lasted for a minute or two.
My bleeding slowed right away. My doctor said it was very good that I came in, as I would have continued to bleed very heavily with the piece of placenta still there.
Today was very hard physically, but I'm still very glad I chose the route I did. I was able to deliver my baby, hold him, examine him, and I was able to say goodbye. My husband is a pastor. His good friend is coming over tomorrow to do a committal ceremony with us. We purchased a beautiful box for Jabez to be buried in.
I hope my sharing helps someone facing the questions I was facing a week and a half ago.
__________________ Me: (Devon) 25 DH: (Jason) 27
Married:6/14/03
TTC since: September '03
Dx:2/9/06
Surprise! BFP 3/20/08
No heartbeat found 5/16/08
miscarried on 5/27/08
Currently taking Metformin, Prenatals, Citalopram, Lunesta, Lyrica, and Labetalol
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Devon--I am so glad that things happened like you wanted them to (respectively). I was really wondering how you were doing! You baby is so blessed to have parents that cared about him so much! HUGZ
I am so sorry. That is very sad. I had a similar experience when I miscarried Emmanuella last year. It is something very deep and poignant and I am not sorry that I had a natural m/c instead of a d&c. I too needed to say good bye. I hope you find comfort.
__________________ Suzi and Lamar
PCOS and MF
TTC baby #1 since 2002
BFP March 2005!
Elisa Mari Walcott born 11-14-2005 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Surprise BFP June 2007!
M/C angel baby Emmanuella 8-15-2007 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC #2 since 9-2007
BFP!!!! 5/27/2008
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Eliana Imani Walcott born 01-26-2009
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I'm so sorry this birth was such a sad one. (((Hugs))) Thank you for sharing your story, and best wishes with your recovery.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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I'm so glad for you too that through this horrible experience of losing your baby you were at least able to honor him in his death. I appreciated hearing about it and I'm sure it's an emotional release to express the experience. Still praying for you are comforted by being able to meet him again someday. I think about my four brothers and sisters often that my mom lost when I was a teenager. The more we talked about it the more healing we did. Take care sweetie
__________________ Leigh(29)DH(35) Married 12-28-07 TTC#1-June 2008 Cycle 1-Natural cycle, No O, BFN Cycle 2-Femara, trigger, O, BFN Cycle 3-Natural cycle, O, BFN Cycle 4-Natural cycle, O, BFP, didn't know/m/c 9 month break for testing, laproscopy (all normal) Cycle 5-Femara, trigger, O, BFP! 8/17 (m/c) 8/27 Cycle 6-Natural cycle, O, BFN Cycle 7-Femara, trigger, O, BFN Cycle 8-Femara, To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Thank you for posting. I also had a natural m/c and didn't know what to expect at the time and it was scary. I am glad that you went to see your doc when you did. That is why some people end up with a D&C anyway because not all is passed like it should. I am glad that did not happen to you though as I have had 2 D&C and those are both emotionally and physically painful as well.
__________________ Melissa (30) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH (32)
Metformin ER
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DS #2 Carson Ronald born 7/27/09!
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I'm so sorry. I decided to also miscarry naturally--just took longer then yours did. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are in and it hurts me to watch you hurt. Thank you for sharing your story. *hugs*
__________________ Anne & Kyle
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Our 5 angels in heaven: Bailey Maya Ruth Avery Aric Alex
I am so sorry that you had to go throught this, I am also glad that you had your husband by your side. It is hard on us to be so happy to be pregnant and then find out we loose the baby. I am happy you shared your experience and I wish you and your husband all the best. God bless you all!! **HUGS**
__________________ Me (26) DH (28) DD (5)
Happily Married Since
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**Happy 8 years to us**
**Devoted Wife and Mother**
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Thanks for sharing your story. It's not quite like my experience, which I assume would be an earlier pregnancy: maybe 7 weeks, but I didn't have exactly the same experience as you. I wish I knew if I had a miscarriage or not. I wish that baby had lived if it was indeed a baby. Anyway... so sorry for your loss.
Annemarie
Devon, thank you for sharing this difficult experience. I have not yet been pregnant but have just started TTC, and since my sister lost my nephew last year at 17 weeks I now know that these things dont just happen to 'a friend of a friend' - they can happen to people close to you, and indeed it can happen to me too. I am on my learning journey and know that if something similar happens to me I will feel ever so slightly better for knowing what to expect.
I hope that made sense. I send you my best wishes on your healing journey.
Claire xx
__________________ Claire 29 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DF 26 - EST 2004 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC #1 since 2007
2 Soy cycles - 2 BFN's
April 09 - Stopped temping and using OPK's
Waiting for insurance to kick in in spring 2010 - praying it happens naturally in the meantime
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