I Reached My Breaking Point

03-09-2007, 06:30 PM

Carrying on from my topic yesterday:

http://www.soulcysters.net/cant-carry-like-202865/

It has been a crazy emotional day for me and I finally flipped my lid in work with a customer on the phone….

I wrote a blog entry…

http://icemoosegirl.blogspot.com

I have now been officially told I am having a breakdown… right now I am content at having got everything (almost everything out) today to people like my manager at work, my doctor, the two CPN’s that came and most importantly my parents… I have finally told the two most important people in my life who offer me nothing but unconditional love how I felt and how close I came to ending it all yesterday…

I am waiting for an emergency appointment now with the Physiatrist and I have the support of my parents. Work the manager I dealt with today have been fantastic and so needless to say I will be taking a little break off work but hopefully not too long – I need to consider all my options.

Thank you so much to all those people here who listen and take the time to reply…

Crazy4Joey · 03-09-2007, 09:28 PM

Alison- Oh my goodness honey you have been dealing with so much! I read your blog and just cried. I am sorry you are dealing this way. I am so glad you were able to talk to so many important people and get this out with your friend, doctor, manager, and mostly your mum! Honey keep doing what you need to for yourself! Keep talking we and I am here for you!
Molly

andisings · 03-09-2007, 10:11 PM

I am thinking about you and hope you feel better soon. I know from personal experience how hard all this can be, and I am so glad that you are brave enough to get some help. If you need anything, know that we are all here!!

03-12-2007, 01:04 PM

Thanks so much for your kind words… I really appreciate it.

The weekend was up and down I was glad to have got it out in the open and thought I would sleep well on Friday but I didn’t I tossed and turned all night thinking it’s out now everyone knows but I know that I made the right decision and I am almost thankfully to that customer who lit the torch paper on Friday for me.

I went back to see my GP this morning who was great and I couldn’t thank him enough for realising on Friday I needed help. I have a good employer and have been in my job for over two years but have taken a lot of time off with this endless constant depression and mood swings I have been having for years. When I went back to work in November I was doing okay, not great and not rid of how I was feeling but I felt ready to go back to work I was over the worse of it, or so I thought. The depression has been returning since around December but I have been plodding along the best I can hoping it would go away but I couldn’t get certain thoughts out of my head.

I have been signed off for three weeks this morning but I am hoping to get back to work before then, I feel now I have reached breaking point and admitted what I am really going through and experiencing I can now get the help I need but I don’t want to stay off work – being at home won’t help me but the thought of going back on the phones at work also terrifies me as I am just not cut out for call centre work. I love the department I work on and get on with everyone so I am hoping now with the help of the OHU I will get back into work ASAP but look at doing some admin or off the phone work in the department and maybe reduce my hours as well.

I am also waiting for an urgent referral to a Physiatrist which I am hoping will happen this week or next week.