I have now been officially told I am having a breakdown… right now I am content at having got everything (almost everything out) today to people like my manager at work, my doctor, the two CPN’s that came and most importantly my parents… I have finally told the two most important people in my life who offer me nothing but unconditional love how I felt and how close I came to ending it all yesterday…
I am waiting for an emergency appointment now with the Physiatrist and I have the support of my parents. Work the manager I dealt with today have been fantastic and so needless to say I will be taking a little break off work but hopefully not too long – I need to consider all my options.
Thank you so much to all those people here who listen and take the time to reply…
{{{posting this here because I just wanted to let my UK friends know... I know some of you don't lurk around the other boards... }}}
Hi Alison, i read your blog with such empathy for you, i am too a fellow depressive, or manic depressive as i should say, i also have an anit social behaviour problem and im paranoid, oh isnt it lovely to be nuts. lol, only kidding, im off to see the phychiatrist next week (14th) ive been where you are right now with the suicidal thougts, i can only say thankfully you havent done anything to harm yourself. and you should if you can keep busy. please keep in touch im on the chat room here quite a bit, come and join us when you feel like. take care and i truly hope you get some help soon. regards Macalla
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Med: thyroxine 200mcg
ME: 40, DH 42, our son Jamie born 16.07.09, 1 Shihtzu dog Bonnie and ,3 cats Boots, Darcey and Boosy
Alison, I'm so sorry that you have had such a bad time. I think you are incredibly brave to do what you did yesterday and I read your blog entry with such admiration for your strength and courage. I really hope that things improve for you very soon, it sounds as though you have a lot of support on hand and I'm sure that they will be of great use to you.
Please keep us updated on your progress and I think you are right to stay off work for some time, remember that your well-being is far more important than any job will ever be.
Read your blog, not sure what to say really only you have done the right thing and i hope things get better for you really soon. You are a lovely person and i hope you find a bit of piece of mind soon. Having worked in a call centre and given it up because of the stress I partly know where you are coming from.
Take care
Caz xxx
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Name Carrie, married to Steven for 3 years, Age: 31
DS Dylan born 10/06/07
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please join the above site
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Wow... I read your blog entry from start to finish. Your bravery astounds me. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. It was written with such frank honesty that it was simply a beautiful and powerful sharing of emotion and feelings. Thank you.
I haven't been in your position so can't honestly say that I understand. I really hope that this week you get the support that you need and deserve at this point. Please keep us updated here as to how you are.
You have been so brave. I think sometimes you need to reach a really really low point before you can start feeling better. How was this weekend for you? Have you been signed off work now?
i dont think any job is worth making you ill over. After all, there are hundreds of jobs out there. There is only one you!
Well done for telling your parents, that must have taken a lot of courage. I hope now with the proper help and treatment you can start healing.
Keep us updated as to how you are, we are all thinking of you.
__________________ Naomi 24, Chris 28, DD Lola
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Thanks so much for your kind words… I really appreciate it.
The weekend was up and down I was glad to have got it out in the open and thought I would sleep well on Friday but I didn’t I tossed and turned all night thinking it’s out now everyone knows but I know that I made the right decision and I am almost thankfully to that customer who lit the torch paper on Friday for me.
I went back to see my GP this morning who was great and I couldn’t thank him enough for realising on Friday I needed help. I have a good employer and have been in my job for over two years but have taken a lot of time off with this endless constant depression and mood swings I have been having for years. When I went back to work in November I was doing okay, not great and not rid of how I was feeling but I felt ready to go back to work I was over the worse of it, or so I thought. The depression has been returning since around December but I have been plodding along the best I can hoping it would go away but I couldn’t get certain thoughts out of my head.
I have been signed off for three weeks this morning but I am hoping to get back to work before then, I feel now I have reached breaking point and admitted what I am really going through and experiencing I can now get the help I need but I don’t want to stay off work – being at home won’t help me but the thought of going back on the phones at work also terrifies me as I am just not cut out for call centre work. I love the department I work on and get on with everyone so I am hoping now with the help of the OHU I will get back into work ASAP but look at doing some admin or off the phone work in the department and maybe reduce my hours as well.
I am also waiting for an urgent referral to a Physiatrist which I am hoping will happen this week or next week.
Don't push yourself back to work too soon. You might not think being at home will help you but it is important to put time and distance between the thing that caused you to stress out. Without taking enough time off work the next time you get a work related stress attack you might find the stress comes back quicker and as strong as this time.
Stay home as long as you doctor tells you to.
If you feel well treat yourself by doing some of the stuff you never have time for.
<3
Hello guys, I am going insane being at home… it’s only been three days and I am crawling the walls… I’ve cleaned and cleaned…
I have my meeting with occupational health on Friday afternoon so we shall see what that brings, I am keen to get back even if I just stay off for the three weeks now but am terrified of going back on the phones so I am hoping they will find me something else to do until I at least have seen the Physiatrist in a couple of weeks and I know where I am heading!
I Reached My Breaking Point 
