I saw a lady today....

Kristina921 · 07-21-2006, 03:55 PM

On the elevator on the way up to my office. She had hair loss alot worse than mine and she had the same type body shape. I so wanted to ask her if she was a cyster but I didn't want to be rude or insult her...We were alone but still...Have you ever come right out and asked someone if they were a cyster?

ScaredSally · 07-21-2006, 04:28 PM

PCOS hair loss is temporal and male pattern if she had classic female it could be from PCOS or a number of other conditions ... do you have male pattern like me ?

I often sit on the tube with women with hair loss and much more sever than mine (I wear cosmetic hair anyway) and yes sometimes I want to talk to them but you cant .. I always think imagine if someone came up to me and said "you have hair loss like mine" .. I would actualy be devestated that they commented

Kristina921 · 07-21-2006, 04:48 PM

That's what I always think to myself...I would be horrified if someone said that to me...So I keep quiet. My hair loss isn't my temples but my part is thinning...

Eva37 · 07-21-2006, 06:02 PM

i know. It's so hard to know - i mean it'd be great to meet a cyster - but i wouldnt want to put my foot in it and ask.
eva

Hezzer · 07-21-2006, 06:04 PM

No, but I really have wanted to as well. When I see the hair loss, hair growth, body shape, or acanthosis nigricans, I just want to let them know what it could be just in case they don't already know.

I've had PCOS since my early teens with minimal symptoms and never knew. Now, nearly 15 years later - after not taking care of my body - I have the full onslaught of symptoms. I wish someone had told me, as painful as it would have been. But, I don't know if others would receive advice that well.

I've thought of making up some business cards with some PCOS symptomology and some website links. Then, when I see a woman who I suspect might have it, I can just hand to her and say "I have PCOS and I'm trying to bring this condition to light so that woman can get checked to find out if they have it too." That way it come across as if I'm directing it towards all woman rather than this one who has certain obvious symptoms.

R0xyg4l · 07-22-2006, 01:17 AM

I have... but it was a good friend that I work with. She worked with me previously and I knew that she had a problem with hirsutism but wasn't sure that she had PCOS. She returned back to working with us a few weeks ago and I asked her and she did in fact have it. I also had another friend at work who had trouble conceiving and mentioned that she has problems with her glucose on occasion. As I was talking to her about my problem with PCOS I learned that she had it too. Out of maybe 10 girls in my office there are 3 of us with PCOS, there may be more but the gals that work during the day I don't know that personally.

sleepydumpling · 07-22-2006, 04:15 AM

I would just suggest being friendly to her. We all know how we feel being stared at and judged by people by our looks, so anyone actually saying something might be the straw that breaks the camels back, you know? Even if it was well intentioned.

But be friendly to her, smile and say hello and comment on something nice about her, and you might make a friend that you CAN talk to about PCOS in the future when you know each other. KWIM?

Plus you just might make her feel good to have someone be nice to her.

MikesHAPPYwife · 07-22-2006, 04:48 AM

There are alot of people out there with PCOS. I think there are various levels of it and some just arent affected as much as many of us and think "whats the big deal?".

When we decided to do fertility many people knew and the word of my pcos got out. I was shocked the woman that told me that had pcos many of which lived normal lives and only had like one symptom. (oh no i wasnt jealous LOL)

OKay, so I am going off topic. What I was really going to post is that my DH likes to DX people. He came home from work the other day and said he over heard the lady in the office talking (she didnt know he could hear) to another woman complaining that she hasnt had a AF in months and now it shows up when its time for vacation. He came home and told me that she has to have PCOS because she has excess hair, weight around belly, and now he knows she has AF issues. He asked me if he should tell her or if I wanted to call and talk to her. HUM >>> NO

I kinda would love to meet girls who have pcos with extreme conditions like myself but dont think it is appropriate to confront someone on things are obviously bothersome to our self esteem.

babyrose · 07-22-2006, 04:53 AM

Hahaha this happened to me last week
I was on a 3 day training and one of the instructors talked about womens health. Then she sat down and I went up to her with few questions. She kept picking on her chin and said "sorry, i just have this hormonal disfunction" and before she finished saying, i said "PCOS, poly blah blah blah"
she was "yeah, how do you know

"

anyways, she is my soul cyster at work now

Ammaarah · 07-22-2006, 04:59 AM

I think we need a secret cysters handshake!

R0xyg4l · 07-22-2006, 05:58 AM

I agree Ammaarah!!

Off topic... I will have to visit your doula website, I considered becoming one, but instead I choose to work my way up the nursing path slowly but surely. x.x

Ammaarah · 07-22-2006, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R0xyg4l

I agree Ammaarah!!

Off topic... I will have to visit your doula website, I considered becoming one, but instead I choose to work my way up the nursing path slowly but surely. x.x

I think a nurse with a little doula vibe going for her would be AMAZING!

Here's the rejected secret handshake! --->

StarMaiden · 07-25-2006, 06:39 AM

Ladies, my line on this question is the same it's been for years...

If you have a developing friendship or acquaintance, and the right time comes up, you can raise this issue in a sensitive way.

But to say anything about it to a stranger based on something about her personal appearance is the utter height of rudeness and cruelty. After all, we all here know the typical profile of a cyster, and we see people all the time that fit the profile, but there are other physical problems that can cause a similar appearance, and frankly, there are some normal people out there who might have excess hair or weight.

It is just cruel and rude to make assumptions about people's health based on their personal appearance. One's health is a private concern.

I'm all for spreading the word about PCOS when the right doors are open, though. A young woman where I work the other day was telling me about her exploratory laparascopy, because she had been having pain, and they found cysts. They didn't yet know if she had PCOS. So I had the opportunity to casually say, Oh, yeah, I deal with that. Do you know about SoulCysters? And I gave her the web site. It was a comfortable exchange.

But I myself would be devastated, seriously hurt, if a stranger would say something to me about it, no matter how obvious it might be by my physical appearance. Discretion is the better part of valor here, no matter how good our intentions.

SuzanneStar · 07-25-2006, 08:04 AM

I have had a few occasions where i have wanted to ask someone if they are a cysters and i did one time to a girl i had just met who is now on my team, she had been wanting to ask me aswell for a while so we had both been thinking the same thing lol.

ScaredSally · 07-25-2006, 10:29 AM

I gotta agree wiht Star Maiden .. if someone came up to me pointed out my male pattern hair loss (which for the record I spend a fortune trying to make look NORMAL and female like) I think if someone pointed it out I would fall apart again .. its taken me long enough to glue myself back together over this stupid condition ....

No dont ask ... I can sometimes chip away at friends for exnple a colleague who I am relatively friendly with is a classic apple shape, has very thin hair ... complains of irregular cycles and stomach hair .. I found THIS was teh opportunity for me to mention MY Pcos ...... saying some of her symptoms sound like mine ..... I have thought for months before she looked classic PCOS so she is now getting tested. .. but I would never have walked up to her and said "HEY YOU .. YOU GOT PCOS" !!