I just been feeling horrible lately and I eat for comfort. I feel awful. I look at myself and I hate what I see, I went to the store to try on some clothes for vacation and I hated that I had to try on plus size clothes, so I put the 3 things I tried on back on the rack and walked away, even though they looked cute on me. Instead I came home and ate. I get so frustrated now, I been quick to yell at Dh & the kids. I just feel out of control. I am soooo stressed.
Were going on vacation soon, thank goodness. I want to get out of Florida for awhile, then we have a chance to move to another state and there are so many pros & cons, so I keep going back and forth about moving. I been only getting maybe 5-6 hrs of sleep because I stay up worrying and can't seem to settle myself down because I got a thousand things running through my mind. Dh works odd hours and long shifts and I keep having panic attacks when he is gone, checking the doors all night making sure there locked, when I know I already locked them, making sure my kids are safe.
When my Dh compliments me on a new outfit or says I look nice I always say yeah right and pick myself apart and he says I am way to hard on myself, but I feel like crap. When I lost weight before I felt good about myself and had confidence now I don't. I know I could eat better and excersise but I am not even motivated to start because I think I am depressed. I get so angry for doing this to myself that you would think I would work out eat healthy, nope instead I choose food to comfort me, why food, when I already know it will just make me bigger and I will just get more depressed. I last maybe a day or two of eating something healthy or working out and then it goes downhill from there and I start eating several things at a time just for comfort I think.
Another big thing is that my Dad died and after that I had to help my Mom out and I feel so responsible for her, checking up on her and making sure she is ok and thinking I got to be here for her all the time. I always help my sister with my nephew and he has ADHD & Bipolar and he got some other mental issues going on and he stresses me out and my sister always complaining about her life to me. When I have my own kids to take care of and worry about. My sister & nephew stress me out so much, they are like poison and I should stay away from them until they can get help.
I been praying everynight that the Lord gives me strength right now and that I am just going through some dark days and will be pulled out of it, but I don't know. I cry about my Dad almost every day and miss him so much and I feel so much responsibility for my mom now. I think that is why I just eat for comfort.
I don't want to go to the Dr. I am just hoping it will go away soon. I hate feeling like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aww I am sure that you are beautiful...you Dh thinks so! Seems like you have so many responsibilities, maybe you need some time all to yourself to relax. Volunteering helped me overcome my depression...or you could join a club or a faith group so that you can meet new friends with similar interests. Also I found that exercising helped me get to sleep better at nights! It helps you work off some of that anxiety!
Also this is a little trick that my therapist taught me when I couldn't get to sleep at nights because I was worrying too much: Visualize putting all of the people and things you are worrying about in a big cardboard box. Now seal that box up with tape and take it to the back of your mind and store it there. Whatever you do...don't open the box!
I know it sounds completely stupid but it helps me get to sleep a lot I told my boyfriend and now he says he does it too!
Maybe try keeping a journal. Write down all the thoughts that are keeping you up and tell yourself they will be there in the morning, to be dealt with on a fresh head. A lack of sleep can really mess with your perspective on anything.
__________________ Lucky mommy of Quinn, 6 years.
PCOS, IBS, Clinical Depression, Lyme Disease, allergies
trying to go natural, down to 1 script, 1 OTC(love u Zyrtec!) and lots of vitamins
After my dad died I never expressed how I felt to no one, of course I cried alot but by myself usually at night. I have never been very open with my Mom about things she tells me how much she misses him and I say it is very hard and that is about the end of the conversation, it is very hush hush. I don't know why I don't express this all to my husband but I guess I feel stupid if I did, so I keep it all inside and deal with it by myself.
I am always helping everyone else and worrying about everyone else, like my Mom I keep saying to Dh I don't want to feel like I am so responsible for her, but then I think I can't just leave her alone. I always keep helping my sister with my nephew, why do I keep doing it, I don't know, I just feel like they are family and I should be there for the both of them no matter what. But, I have my own family my husaband and kids to take care of worry about.
No one helps me out with my boys it has always been me and Dh, maybe my Mom watching them for a hour so we could go to dinner for a birthday or anniversary but that was it, so why do I help everyone else but I get no help. I don't know. Why do I feel so guilty if I pack up and leave all this stress behind me.
I just don't never really open up to anyone unless I can't take it anymore and then I get upset and yell & explode to Dh. I hate that I do that! So, I been sitting my butt down and just eating I think to ease the pain of everything. I hate that I can laugh one minute and then be crying the next. I also noticed now that I have gained the weight I feel depressed and almost crazy because one minute I am fine the next I am crying or sad about something or angry.
I just Thank all of you ladies that responded and gave me some ideas what to do. Thanks so much! Not having anyone to talk to is hard and real hard on my mind it is like ten thousand things are just going over and over in my head.
It certainly sounds to me like you may benefit from some form of counseling. I truly believe that all of the symptoms and hormonal issues we deal with as women with PCOS can make life feel unbearable sometimes. I've been in therapy for a while now, and it most definatley has helped with those feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that sometimes comes with dealing with all these symptoms all the time. Good luck to you, and I hope you'll decide to talk with someone you feel comfortable with.
Hugs,
Candace
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Hey, keep your head up. I know it is hard and it totally sucks. Maybe I should take my own advice!!! Just rely on the fact that things WILL get better. Talk to God sometimes, he is always there to listen.
__________________ The Irish have always been victims of negative stereotype. I mean people think we're all drunks and brawlers; and sometimes that gets you so mad all you wanna do is get drunk and punch somebody.
I think I am depressed! 
Seems like you have so many responsibilities, maybe you need some time all to yourself to relax. Volunteering helped me overcome my depression...or you could join a club or a faith group so that you can meet new friends with similar interests. Also I found that exercising helped me get to sleep better at nights! It helps you work off some of that anxiety!
