**~!~I want to HURT her bad~!~**

melissa_kay_842001 · 04-08-2007, 04:37 AM

Ok....I HAD this friend (my fiancee's brother's girlfriend) and she got pregnant. So she recommended me to her doctor. Well I did everything for this girl. My fiancee and I bought her pretty much anything that she needed for her baby. And then when she is like 8 months pregnant we have a fallen out. And then she calls me yelling at me and then she proceeds to say " your just jealous because you CAN'T have a baby you fat f*ckin b*tch". I was like WHAT? When I heard that I instantly started crying. How dare her say that to me. It broke my heart. Not because she said it and we were suppossed to be friends because it hurt me inside making me think that I will never be able to have a baby. So after that I just stop talking to her and she tried apologizing but I told her that I couldnt accept her apology because I would never forgive her for saying that to me. She was suppossed to be my friend. She knew about my condition but she didnt care if she hurt me or not. So now tonight she called me again and she kept saying that I was fat and that I would never be able to have a baby. What am I suppossed to to do about this. She wont leave me alone and everytime she says it it kills me inside. Everytime she says it it makes me give up hope. Some people can just be so cruel.

Melissa

kshahina · 04-08-2007, 05:01 AM

I'm just so sorry Melissa. How could a friend be so rude. I would never do this to an enemy also. Maybe she's going through pregnancy hormones and stuff but that is in no way an excuse for what she's done with you. Just stay away from her. She's not worth your friendship and let your DH or someone say to her that you don't want to talk to her anymore and not to trouble you. I would never again talk to this lady if I were you..

melissa_kay_842001 · 04-08-2007, 05:06 AM

Oh I am never going to talk to her. She really hurt me. She knew that is all that I wanted was to have a baby and she shattered that for while.....I would like to think it was the hormones but she has already had her baby like 2 weeks ago and she said that stuff again tonight. I sit here and cry because sometimes i just give up hope and just really honestly I want to die sometimes. I sit here alone all the time and then I have to deal with this. And I am....I am trying my hardest....I am going on a diet and I am exercising and I quit smoking. Sometimes I just think to myself maybe I dont deserve a baby. I hate PCOS.....I HATE IT SO MUCH.

kshahina · 04-08-2007, 05:18 AM

Melissa, its really hard and I had the same things goin on with my life when i wasn't able to conceive but I did it and I pray you will too. I always say this to everyone that if I can get pregnant anyone can. I was in a stage I had lost all hope. I had been trying for more than three years and everyattempt had failed. I got treated with meds and injectibles and IUI's and all sorts of tests. Finally the doctor told me that we had to go for the last step IVF. I jsut wans't ready for that because I had fear that if this wouldn't work then nothing would because that was the last step. I just didn't want to go to the last step and also I didn't plan of spending so much money. its not that I couldn't afford it but I just couldn't let my body be played with more and I decided that I need a break from all these meds and all these treatments for some time. I knew I had a loving husband and that motivated me to keep going. I've read your other posts and I have noticed that your BF loves you. Isn't that enough for us to keep going... Yes TTC is a emotional turmoil and PCOS is a really hard part of our lives but I've learned so much from it. I too hated PCOS but today when I sit and think back I feel that it was because of PCOS that now I love my daughter so much. It was because of PCOS that I know so much about my body. It was because of PCOS that I want to try to help ladies having it. I just feel at times I might have not been such a good mother to my daughter if I didn't suffer all this (I'm the lazy careless type person) Please try to see the good in things. And please PM me if you want to talk anytime.

kshahina · 04-08-2007, 05:22 AM

As for your friend. I would say she's being mean to you and you deserve to have better people in life than her. Just try to leave her behind in life. Maybe someone better is there to be your friend. I really don't have any best friends and one of the reason for this is that I jsut couldn't take stuff like this from anyone....

melissa_kay_842001 · 04-08-2007, 05:33 AM

I do understand what you are saying. And I thank you very much for chatting with me tonight. But I see stories of women on here like you that tried for years....I honestly dont think I could do that. I am a manic depressant and I get overwhelmed with small stuff. I just dont think that I could take meds for years and I know that I could never afford IVF. And yes my BF loves me but I am doing this alone. I am going to my DR Appt.'s alone and he just tells me yeah baby we are going to have a kid I have faith in you. But NO ONE is really here for me or helping me a long the way and I really need that. So that is why I want to give-up sometimes. I CANT do this alone. And I have told him that and he always says...I am here for you and stuff like that. I dont know....I am tired....I am tired of having to do everything by myself....I am TIRED of having to do everything twice as hard. You know this girl that I knew that said all that mean stuff to me, she is a whore. And I am not saying that to be mean and I am sorry for such rude language but I dont understand why this girl didnt have her BF wear protection. This girl is only 17-18 yrs old and she gets drunk all the time.....does drugs which I cant stand that she did. She has been to juvenile detention over 10 times. She told me that she was going to get drunk and (I hate saying this over the internet) do meth 3 weeks after her baby is born. She actually told me this. She dont deserve this baby. I am so terrified for her baby. She is young and all she wants to do is party. But then you look at me....me and my fiancee have a nice home, we are good people, enough money to raise a child, etc....and we cant get pregnant the way we should be able to. What I am getting at is, why does these girls that dont even want a baby get pregnant on the drop of a dime? Why do I have to go through this? But I understand. I just have to work a little bit harder for what I want. That is fine because you know what when I get pregnant I am going to love every minute of it.....morning sickness and all. LOL....Well enough of me rambling on....I am going to go to bed in a few minutes. Hope you have a great Easter and thanks again for chatting with me. PM me anytime.

Melissa

kshahina · 04-08-2007, 06:02 AM

I understand your frustration and I can say this because I've been through all this and in fact the fear of not conceiving makes it even worse. You have to trust yourself and leave the rest to fate. Don't think you are alone in this. Men just don't know how to show their involvement at times. I'm sure your BF doesn't mean to not be there for you when he says he is. Men just can't express themselves as the way we can. I've seen ladies here with severe depression and fighting all that alone without the support of any family and friends. I really felt that way too. But after I joined soulcysters I found myself better knowledged and better understood. The virtual friends here are very supportive and understanding and its always better to know that there are people who are going through the same thng we are. I'm sure you'll love it here. Good luck and Happy Easter to you too.

ksdksd412 · 04-08-2007, 06:18 AM

This made me so upset! You do deserve real friends in life. You may meet thousands of people in your lifetime, but you'll only have a handful of real friends. And girl, she's NOT one! I don't understand how people can be so cruel. Whether or not this was just the "hormones" talking, or if she truly meant to hurt you, the point is, it HURT. If someone ever said this to me, I think they'd be layin' face first in the ground. Maybe not her because she was pregnant, but I wouldn't let her get away with it. (Just because I am that type of person.) LOL.. I do know this. You are so much more. You are doing the right thing by all the life changes you've made. You can only work harder, and if you really want a child, you'll have one if you keep on trying. Ya know, my sister doesn't have PCOS, but when she was my age (17) she was told she wouldn't have children for various reasons. She was so upset and became bipolar, but a miracle happened. She got pregnant at 20, named her first baby Miracle, and after baby #6, she called it quits! Now, she doesn't suffer from PCOS, but she was told from the get-go, "You'll never have children." Now that's a lot worse than what I've had to hear, and I see how grateful she is to have her children. I love my 5 nieces and nephew! Lol. You need to have faith in yourself. Like kshahina said, this will help you learn more about YOU! You'll learn to work around PCOS and have the child or children you want and deserve. Don't let that girl bring you down. If she is doing all the things you're saying she's doing, you're right, maybe she doesn't deserve a child because she obviously is one and can't take care of herself. Stay strong, keep your head high, please don't let people like this make you who you are.

Baby dust to you

You're beautiful. You are, and you better believe me!

want2beAmum · 04-08-2007, 06:57 AM

Hey Melissa, Ok lets start our by saying this girl can not be referred to as "Friend"
Because "friends" do NOT do this to other friends. This is her problem not yours, try not to let that bring you down, thats useless energy. I have been stepped on by a Girl that I use to call Friend, and i no longer consider her anything to me. This is a wonderful group of cysters here that is always here to chat with , bounce ideas off of, and support you!Depression is very hard to deal with, and i say that from a life time of experience....and i have been to the point of suicied as well. This is not a nice place to be, and you do feel all alone there, But please stay positive!!! Someone once told me when i was at my lowest point,"If you are always negative.....that is what you will receive" I know it is not easy to be positive when you feel all alone, but do it for yourself...your fiance....Your Baby!!!
Were Here For You!!!

StephUk · 04-08-2007, 07:41 AM

For ten years I have seen druggy taking, partying girls in my area getting pregnant, four and five times to four and five different fathers.
Hell, one family had most of their children taken off of them and just waited a while and then had a pile more children.
And all of these children are dirty, hardly loved looking little ones that are allowed to wander the streets alone, even when it gets dark.
And here is me, Ive been with my husband for ten years now and have never used protection, we both knew that we are clean and are soul mates, so we thought we should have a child together.
We are VERY happily married, we have a lovely three bed, one and a half bath house, we dont go out partying, we can afford to be parents, all in all, we can offer a very stable life to a future child.
Ive gone through some very bad times in the last ten years.
I had times when my arms physically ached with emptiness of not holding my own child, days that I didnt think that I could go on any more, as though I wanted a child so badly that I couldnt breath.
I would see the success stories on here and be happy for them but be so very very jealous and I actually didnt come back to this site for a LONG time, I just couldnt handle it.
Over time I convinced myself that I didnt want a child any more.
I was happy again, I felt free.
But deep inside I knew that I was fooling myself and it soon emerged again and I admitted that Id just been trying to convince myself that not wanting a child is less painful than not being able to.
So here I am now, ten years on and losing my weight and getting healthy and absolutely determined that Im going to be a mother some day soon.
Each day is hard and I get days that I just cry with frustration.
I WILL have a child, I just have to be patient and he or she will come to me.
You need to tell your bf that he needs to be there with you.
My hubby comes to everything with him and I just couldnt do it without him, you NEED that support and just saying that he has confidence in you isnt enough.
As for this girl, tell her when she calls you that you are taping the conversation and that you will be taking the tape to the police and will be sueing her for harassment if she continues to contact you, that should stop her and if it doesnt, then tape them and really do go to the police.
Stay strong.

ksdksd412 · 04-08-2007, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephUk

As for this girl, tell her when she calls you that you are taping the conversation and that you will be taking the tape to the police and will be sueing her for harassment if she continues to contact you, that should stop her and if it doesnt, then tape them and really do go to the police.
Stay strong.

Yeah.. great idea! Lol.

SnowFlower · 04-08-2007, 10:44 AM

Im sorry she said those evil things to you. I agree with the harrassment idea.

junior_j · 04-08-2007, 10:12 PM

People dont realise how hurtful they can be

Jess x

melissa_kay_842001 · 04-09-2007, 03:41 PM

Hey everyone. I am sorry that I am not posting to everyone's posts but I have a real bad migrain right now. But I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that is commenting to this thread. Right now I am in the process of getting this girls number blocked along with her family's numbers. At this point I just dont wanna go through the BS. But thanks again everyone. I would write more but my head is pounding.

Melissa

lightfello · 04-09-2007, 08:44 PM

If you know for a fact that she is using drugs, a call to CPS would be warranted. I agree with the PP's block her number and file charges for harrassment if she doesn't stop. She's no friend of yours.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this.