I want off this rollercoaster

Kanmustang · 09-13-2005, 04:22 PM

I had a D&C on 9/8/05, and "physically" I guess I feel ok, but now one minute I'm in a chipper fine mood, then next I am crying, and 2 seconds later I want to yell at everyone. THIS IS TOTALLY NOT ME!!! I am usually very "even tempered". I feel like I am going crazy. I just want to disappear and never come back...no, not like I want to hurt myself or anything, I'm just tired of being tired!! I don't know if its hormonal or what, but I feel like its killing me. I am totally stressed over EVERYTHING. I hate my job, my dh and I are broke (more than the norm) and I just can't stand the idea of not still being pg. THERE IS NOTHING in this world I want more than to be a mom. WHY AM I GOING NUTS?? I am to the point that I could care less about anyone or anything right now. Any suggestions...sorry for the rant. I just feel like I'm gonna burst any second.

SheriKCMO · 09-13-2005, 04:33 PM

I'm so sorry that this is how it can be. Almost all of us have days that are so bad, we really want to run away. Just take one day at a time and soon you will have a day that is a lot better. Then another one the next week, and so on. The hormones don't help, and I'm sure you are still under their influence. If there is anything that helps you relax, like reading, movies, walking, cooking, talking to friends on the phone, whatever you can think of, try to mix some good things in while you wait for you emotions to calm down. It can be a great distraction. There are brighter days ahead, though I know it's hard to see right now. I hope they come very soon for you.
Hugs!

saluki_fan · 09-13-2005, 04:41 PM

So sorry for what you are going through. No woman should have to deal with this. (Or man...)

Part of this is most likely due to the HCG levels in your body dropping. They are supposed to divide in half every other day. Until my levels were back to zero I was completely unpredictable and moody. One minute I'd be fine, the next I'd be a lunatic.

We know how much you miss your babies...and brighter days are on the way.

JuliannePCOS · 09-13-2005, 04:57 PM

(((hugs)))

msvon · 09-13-2005, 08:35 PM

First let me say that I am so sorry for your loss.

Next, I will say I had been feeling the same way, and to try to get my mind off of the miscarriage, I went right back to teaching my dance class and jumped right back into school with 2 nite classes per week....plus working full time. So three nites per week I am out of the house doing something. I thought it would take my mind off things, but the sadness had me so worn out that I decided that I needed to see a therapist. I had some other things I had to deal with this summer as well as things that were unresolved from my childhood. I'm so glad I took that step, she has been wonderful so far and it has helped me get my mind off of a lot of things right now.

I would say that if your job covers it, go for therapy...you don't have to take any meds if you don't want to...I don't. I wanted coping skills, not a drug. Otherwise I would say take it one day at a time and don't overdo it.

Get plenty of rest and cry whenever you need to...and if you need a shoulder....both of mine are here.

msvon

social1234 · 09-14-2005, 12:33 AM

I am very sorry for your loss. I am just trying to take it day by day so I don't know how helpful I can be, but I definitely understand what you are going through. I am also tired of feeling sad, angry, and having the feeling of something missing in my life. Your loss is so recent, try not to pressure yourself by trying to get back to "normal" so soon, it may take a while to grieve.

GoingCrazyInTX · 09-14-2005, 12:53 AM

I had my D&C on 9/3. Like you I felt ok physically (until I started overdoing it at work anyways) and actually emotionally felt ok a couple of days afterwards. But lately I've been on a rollercoaster also. Except for the day I found out and the day after I've cried more the last few days than I did the couple of days after the D&C. I also wonder when it gets better. I'm afraid we'll be more emotional for awhile. Sorry I can't be of help really. Just know you're not alone. (((HUGS)))

SweetPea76 · 09-14-2005, 04:41 AM

You're not going nuts- you have just suffered a major loss, and you are dealing with that. Your body is trying to adjust to the change in hormones, and your mind is trying to adjust to the fact that the babies you loved so dearly are gone.

I know that I went through all sorts of modds after my loss, I was sad, mad, envious of other people. You name the negative emotion and I probably felt it at one time or another after my m/c.

Take it day by day for a bit, and focus on you. Do whatever it is you feel like you need to do to heal yourself. It is okay to get mad, okay to get sad, and okay to feel whatever else it is you may feel. When I felt myself getting angry. I just retreated into my room and removed the chance of me taking my anger out on other people. It worked, except for my dear DH who was with me the entire time and withstood lots of my outbursts.

I"m so sorry you are going through this. ((hugs))

VivC · 09-14-2005, 03:42 PM

I'm sorry. I agree that it's probably a combination of grief and hormones. I promise you're not going crazy.

((hugs)),

Viv