Although, I have been blessed with Emma since my loss, the pain does not go away.
Laying in bed last night, it hit me that on Thursday it will have been 2 years since we found out that little Alex's heart stopped beating. On Sunday it will be 2 years since the D&C. You'd think after two years that you would stop crying, but you don't. I just layed in bed looking out the window through my tears. No, it is not as painful as it was at first, but I think that pain at first is the initial shock. And then the pain that will last forever sets in. After 2 years it is still here. I still miss my baby. I still want my baby. As much as I did the day I found out that I was pg.
Now the only thing I have to show for Alex is the love and the pain that I feel in my heart.
The weeping willow that we planted a few days after the loss is now blooming and will keep the memory of Alex and my second loss, Sydney alive forever. Not that we would forget, but when it starts coming out every Spring we will forever be reminded of the two babies that were never meant to be.
Remembering with you friend...i still cant see twin girls without skipping a heartbeat...i so feel for you...
take care...
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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I am sorry your still feeling the pain,
My brother lost there first baby going on for two years, and they still miss the baby they never had, even though they have a perfectly healthy baby boy.
They went for a scan not knowing anything was wrong and there was no heartbeat, they nicnamed the baby nemo, so i had a star named Nemo done for them,so they would never feel like everyone eles had forgotten either.
Now the star hangs along side there wedding picture in there living room.
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moonwitch1981,serenity1981 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Kim, when I see twins I think of you too. Maybe it's because we went thoguh our losses at the same time, but I think of you and Aimee and Dana often.
I am so thankful to have you girls to share my feelings with. Without you I couldn't have gotten through the initial shock or the lasting pain. I hate that we have this little "club" of ours, but I am glad that none of us have to go through it alone.
serenity1981 - That was a wonderful gesture that you did for you brother and sil. Big hugs to you for being such a great sister. Many of us have went though our losses with absolutly no support from family memebers.
Clarissa, I'm so sorry. You have been so wonderful to me since my loss...if there is anything I can do, please let me know. I'm praying for you hon!
Manders
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Our baby Bryce Rylee could only stay 7 weeks and 5 days before going to meet Jesus to be one of His angels.
3-15-06
Our twin baby boys went to Heaven together 5-7-07
Gavin James and Brogan Ryker 19 weeks 3 days
They died and ended up saving my life. They are forever my heroes.
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PM me about my Grandma's newly published Gluten Free Cookbook!
Thanks Manders! I have been thinking about you lately. I accidently turned my pm off and just recently realized that it was off. I worried that you may have needed someone to talk to and there I had my pm off. I hope that you are doing as well as can be expected. PM me anytime you want to or need someone to talk to. I have it back on now.
Well today is going better than I expected it too. Emma had her dr's appt and her ears pierced, so at least I wasn't setting at home feeling sorry for myself. I just reminded dh of what today was. I swear men just do not go through what we do. Sunday will be the 2 yr mark of the D&C, so that will be a hard day too, I need to find something to keep me busy.
I appreciate everyone's support here. I need to be aound more for all of you. I'm sorry that I'm not. Big Hugs to us all.
Clarissa, you are more than welcome!!! I will definately pm you. I'm so glad that today went better than you expected! I'm praying that Sunday goes ok too, or as well as it could. If there's anything I can do to help Sunday pass without too much hurting, never be afraid to ask! I'll do whatever I can.
Love ya girl!
manders
__________________
Our baby Bryce Rylee could only stay 7 weeks and 5 days before going to meet Jesus to be one of His angels.
3-15-06
Our twin baby boys went to Heaven together 5-7-07
Gavin James and Brogan Ryker 19 weeks 3 days
They died and ended up saving my life. They are forever my heroes.
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PM me about my Grandma's newly published Gluten Free Cookbook!
I will be 2 yrs soon 
Remembering with you friend...i still cant see twin girls without skipping a heartbeat...i so feel for you...
You have been so wonderful to me since my loss...if there is anything I can do, please let me know. I'm praying for you hon! 
