I was visiting my DH's relatives in L.A. this weekend and mentioned to one of his Aunts that we are still planning to adopt next year after our the birth of our son. She said, "why would you want to adopt if you know you can have children of your own". This made me so angry, but I bit my tongue and replied, "we don't see adoption as a second choice". Then she said, "your biological child and adopted child will be jeleous of each other". I told her we have been reading a lot about adoption and working with our social worker to prepare to be good parents and that I have friends who were adopted with bio siblings and I didn't see them complaining about not being a bio child. I can't believe she was so opionated on this subject - I guess some people just speak before they think
__________________ Websissy
Me: 46; DH: 47; DS#1: 6 years old ; DS#2: 2 years old
Angels in Heaven, DD had Trisomy 18
Dx APS, hypothyroid, IR, Endometriosis, Asherman's, tubal factors
Sept 2009
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My DH's sister was adopted at birth and his mom was just pregnant when they got her. Yes there were problems growing up with one adopted (the eldest) and two bio but it was purely parent made not kid made...I believe that it starts in the home and any jealousy can be avoided if everyone is educated and its not made to be a big deal !
Some people don't understand why you would adopt if you can have bio kids becuz they never had or wanted to consider it themselves...
You are doing something that not many people do and that takes alot of courage but it will also get comments...
Be strong, keep that head up and raise those babies as I know you will...in a loving, caring environment
Take good Care
Amy
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Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Dec 09 - Femara 5 mgs Days 3-7
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DH and I hope to have a biological child (if we can) after our adoption is complete... if not, we will do a second adoption. We too have done a lot of research on this and the only problems that arise from jealousy is if one child is favoured more than the other -- but this can happen even with parents who have two biological kids.
I am sorry that your Aunt seems to be so opiniated about a topic on which she is clearly unqualified to speak. It sounds to me, however, like you did a great job of explaining your choice to her and standing up for yourselves -- kudos!
Janie
__________________ Me: 40 DH: 40 Married 04/21/01
dx pcos 1998; have been on Metformin for 6 yrs (2000 mg/day)
Ectopic pg 08/02 ... HSG 09/02 -- all clear
Five failed clomid rounds as of 2/27/03
Laparoscopy 03/11/03; found multiple fibroids and endometriosis
3 rounds of Gonal-F injections with IUI's -- all a BUST!!
Myomectomy on July 8, 2003 to remove fibroids.
Adopted the Light of My Life on July 14th, 2004 from St. Petersburg, Russia
__________________ Websissy
Me: 46; DH: 47; DS#1: 6 years old ; DS#2: 2 years old
Angels in Heaven, DD had Trisomy 18
Dx APS, hypothyroid, IR, Endometriosis, Asherman's, tubal factors
Sept 2009
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Originally posted by websissy Then she said, "your biological child and adopted child will be jeleous of each other".
I agree with everyone else's comments but I just had to laugh at this one. As one with a younger brother, siblings find something to be jealous of the other sibling with all the time! What does she think -- that if they both happen to be biologically related that their relationship with be a breeze? LOL
Sibling rivalry and jealousy is just a part of growing up -- adoption, bio, step, half...that part is irrelevant. Kids are kids!
__________________ Carrie
~ PCOS & Blocked Tubes, 3 tx Clomid, 2 IUIs, 4 IVF/ICSI (one with ED)
~ Mom to Ethan, 3 from Russia
~ Adopting a little to make Ethan a big brother!
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WOW! Sorry. I get that alot too! People ask why dont you try IVF what if? I tell them adoption is a beautfiul thing whether you have biological children or not. You go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________ Sefi
ttc#1 since 2000
dx-PCOS @age 16
#2 w/ IUI + HPT but ectopic
Adopted my beautiful angel 3/16/05 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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