Purple_monkfish

Hi girls... I'm just feeling rather ignored atm... needed somewhere to vent.. and given how hostile a lot of the other boards can get... I figured here was probably the best place.

Let's see... i'm completely out of control emotionally because of these stupid hormones, which isn't helping matters. All the **** I had to endure when I first annouched I was pregnant is still causing me pain. I tried so hard to forget about how cruel people were to me, to just push it to one side... but I can't. They come online and it brings back all the crap...

My partner was recently made unemployed and can't find any work at all. Nowhere has anything it seems... and he's trying so hard. Of course this is causing both of us a lot of stress. With us both unemployed (I was a student so i had no job when I found out I was preggers) and no income comming in, I don't know how we'll live.
I had gone to be put on Jobseekers allowance just to get some extra money, but after 6 weeks of going in to chat with them and sign on, I finally asked when I could expect payment.. only to be told I wasn't recieving anything. They'd been wasting my time making me come in all along! Apparently because I live with a partner i'm not elligable for ANYTHING to help finacially.. despite him only earning about 1400 a year to support himself, me and a baby! I'm so scared... how on earth are we going to cope on such a low income? How are we even going to afford food, let alone baby things? nowhere seems willing to help a couple, it's all about single moms.. it's really getting to me. It's like we're being punished because we live together as if married.

My mother and her partner called off their wedding... and my mother started threatning to go back to NZ, leaving me all alone with no family in the UK. So I got really upset. I was yelled at by people on the boards for that too... apparently i'm childish and selfish.
that's been vuagely sorted now, but I still have issues with my mother. My partner hates her and she dislikes him. It's really hard for me having the pair of them be so negative about eachother all the time. I've tried to explain to my man that he has to be nice, because she's my mother... but I don't think he quite gets that *****ing about her upsets me. My mother just seems to have decided that he's useless without actually having any evidence. I hate it... I hate that the man i've decided to spend my life with and my mother don't get on. She's liked all my previous b/fs but they've all been completely hopeless, I don't quite understand why she dislikes this one so much. I get the feeling it's because he got me pregnant which she definitely doesn't approve of.

I feel so drained.

I'm fed up.. .and to top things off, the ladies on the pregnancy boards seem to be ignoring me. Seriously.. I really do feel like they just don't read my posts. I say i'm feeling a little down or i'm scared and seldom do I get any sort of acknowledgement. I can't help but think they're ignoring me because of a fight I had with one of the girls right at the start.. A fight I still don't understand to be honest.. I mean honestly.. she asked me how I was so I told her! then she got *****y because I was really down... I just don't understand people... you ask how someone is and don't expect them to vent? why ask in the first place then!? alas, this became a big thing on the boards and people decided it was a good plan to take sides. Now I can't help but feel they all dislike me or something.. i'm paranoid I know, but I feel so alone and unsupported. Everyone else has such major issues and here's me with just depression.. so of course i'm not as important.. I'm beginning to get resentful.

I'm just so scared... for my health, for my baby, for my relationship... money is a serious issue, my mother is making things difficult, she and her partner keep having a go at me about the name we've chosen for OUR BABY (which is none of their ****ing business!) and her partner even had the audacity to tell me I was being "selfish" for not giving our first born son my fathers name... wtf? what the hell does it have to do with him? My mother seems to have taken offense that I don't want to use her side of the familys names... and that's just dumb.. i'm not at all close to her side of the family, why on earth would I name my child after people who are essentially strangers to me? this is alas, the problem with giving kids family names... I let his father name him because hell, he's a first born SON, it's traditional to have the father's name... in this case he's got his grandfather's name as a middle name and I don't see how that's an issue... but my mother has taken offense and likes to ***** and moan about "how can we give him the name StJohn, how can we name him after his father's father" blah blah blah.. i'm so sick of it. I mean for christs sake, she didn't even want anything to do with this to begin with, she was too busy freaking out.. so how dare she show up and start telling me what to name my child. My own father doesn't give a damn what we name him, as long as he's healthy and i'm ok. So why does my mother and her partner feel it's neccisary to butt in? Of course I'm not allowed to get upset about this.. because that's "selfish" of me.. or some bull****.. i'm never allowed to make my feelings known because noone wants to know... i'm supposed to suffer in silence while people treat me like ****, criticise everythign I do and ***** and moan at me about my choices. What the hell can I do? Sometimes I just feel like i'm supposed to lie there and play the doormat. Bend to everyone's whim. It's not fair... it's my life! I have every right to be stressed and upset by things!

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Mazarin

Rant.... it's good to let it out!

I hope I made you feel welcome at the UK board..... I know there where some issues there earlier this year for you!

Have you seen into if you can get a Maternity Grant from the DSS in the UK?

I hear how you mean about being ignored on boards... I get that a lot on another board I use and a lot recently but I figured recently I would quit using it soon as I am getting to old!

I only come here for the great advice!

Purple_monkfish

Maz! I haven't been around the Uk board for a while... the girls don't like me much and keep yelling at me whenever I say anything.. so I decided to lay low for a bit and bite my tongue. Maternity grant i've been looking into, we have to go down to the jobcenter or something and talk to them.. it's all a huge huge hassle and given my midwife is so USELESS I don't even have a Mat1 certificate yet.. so I can't claim anything till she gives that to me. I'm kinda pissed off about that. Surely she should have asked me about financial situation and things like that at my fricken booking in appointment? thing is, i've only seen her twice.. the other couple of times have been some other woman. I hate the NHS... I really really do. Hopefully she can just sign a damned certificate and give it to me at my appointment on Thursday, but I have my doubts.. that'd involve the NHS and indeed her being efficient and actually there to help the patient. I'll likely have to wait several weeks while they lose my paperwork and/or file it in the wrong place. *sigh* I'm so fed up.

Mother rang earlier to freak out about some program she was watching about midwives and how crap they are... or something. So yeah.. I feel so so secure and well cared for now... I already had concerns and her phoning me to freak out didn't help. -_-
She keeps saying **** like "oh you do know what to do if labour takes to long? because it can cause this that and the other horrible dehabilitating disabilities" and to be honest, she scaring the crap out of me. Problem is, if I tell her to shut up she's upsetting me she gets all pissy and yells at me about how she's just trying to help and how dare I speak to her like that I should be grateful blah blah blah... GOD I HATE HER SOMETIMES. gah... I love my mother dearly, but she really has no concept of what is and isn't appropriate.

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naomi123

Purple- Ive just seen this. I really hope you dont feel that people dont like you. That is not true. We dont have to agree on every single subject but it dosnt mean people dont care!

I think one of the great things here on SC is that we can disagree on one thing in one thread but then be supporting each other in another thread. It means although we have differing opinions on subjects we are all still here for each other. And that is the case in real life too.

Have you thought about seeing a counsellor??

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Naomi 24, Chris 28, DD Lola



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Mazarin

@ PM... it will soon be Christmas for you and the little boy will be here!

You can always check out to see if you could apply for a Crisis Loan or a Budgeting Loan as well from the DSS.