Insides Flipping Inside Out

IsabelleGrace · 12-22-2005, 05:29 AM

I've been going through this for about a month now. It feels like I've had the wind knocked out of me and that I'm on a continual roller coaster. Sometimes it get's so bad that I just shake. My therapist told me that it is a reaction to feelings coming to the surface and the negative voices in my mind reacting to my trying to challenge them. It is so uncomfortable. It feels like I have butterflies all of the time. She has told me to practice deep breathing and positive self-talk.

It is so uncomfortable. I'm having to take breaks at work just to go to the powder room and compose myself. Do any of you have suggestions? I'm all ears. This is awful!

nicole47 · 12-22-2005, 06:48 AM

You said you've been diagnosed with anxiety, right? Because those are *classic* anxiety symptoms. I ended up having to take a small paper bag with me anytime I went to campus in case I started hyperventilating (which was the step after shaking for me).

Cognitive behavioral therapy and those books I recommended before.

Definitely practice the deep breathing. Get your self as comfy as possible to do it. Visualize a time in your life when you felt really relaxed and calm (for me this was the split second after getting a Valium shot before I passed out when I got my wisdom teeth out), get that picture in your mind and then breath deeply with your eyes closed in through your nose 2, 3, 4 and out through your mouth, 2, 3, 4. Concentrate on counting, breathing, and feeling calm. Do this for at least 10 minutes every day/night and more often as you can fit it in your schedule. Practice is imperative to get it to work. I think I started seeing a real improvement after around 2 weeks of practicing for 15 minutes every night and whenever I had free time during the day.

Progressive muscle relaxation is the next step in CBT that works well for many people (it worked *too* well for me-- it puts me right to sleep). Close your eyes and either sit or lie down. Clench up your toes really tight. Concentrate on how clenched and tight they feel. Hold them. Hold them. Then release the clench. Notice how relaxed and free they feel now that they're no longer clenched. Think about how much nicer and calmer your toes are now. Ponder your happy toes. Now clench your leg muscles. Focus on how clenched and tight they are. Tight tight muscles. Clenched up. Now relax them. Think about how much nicer they feel when they're not clenched. Free and happy leg muscles. Contemplate the beauty of relaxed leg muscles. Then repeat with the buttocks, shoulders, hands, neck, and face.

For the racing thoughts, if you can't stop them, put a rubber band on your wrist. Snap it and say "STOP!" out loud. For me, after doing this for a day I was able to just say "STOP!" and it had the same effect. Later I was able to just think "STOP!" about midway through my therapy, and then finally the racing thoughts left (with the positive/realistic reinforcement training stuff).

For the positive affirmations, I found that the realistic two column writing helped me much more because it was more *believable* and less Stuart Smalley... and writing it down made it seem much more believable and concrete than just looking at myself in the mirror and saying that I was good enough and smart enough and so on (something the non-CBT therapist had recommended). For this technique, fold a paper in half length-wise. On the left column, write out the common racing thoughts one at a time. After you've written the first one out, in the right column write what is actually true, and something positive (it could be what you're doing to make the thing you wrote no longer true, it could be a statement of what the reality is, it could be acknowledging that if the racing thought is actually true, that isn't the end of the world). So
"I'm stupid" in the left column would have "I'm not stupid. I'm very smart. I was a math major. Even if I'm the dumbest person in my program, I'm still a smart person."
"I can't do anything"-> "I'm a good cook. I can teach math. I'm a fast reader. I ran some good regressions last week and my supervisor praised me."
"I'm fat" -> "I'm getting more exercise and watching what I eat"
"I'm going to fail all of my classes"-> "My program doesn't fail anyone. I will get a second chance if I fail. Even if I do drop out, I'm still a hard worker and employable. I can always teach high school math."
After doing this, if they start up again, the automatic thoughts can be automatically countered with what you've written in the right hand column. I did this technique in the room with my therapist-- I'm not sure if it works as well by yourself, but you can try it!

I have definitely been there with your symptoms and I am completely cured. If I can do it, so can you. One other thing that helps is working on your techniques while away from whatever is causing the anxiety. For me that meant starting during a vacation. For people who can't get away from the cause of the anxiety, it can be helpful to take an anti-anxiety medication temporarily while the therapy is getting started.

sleepydumpling · 12-22-2005, 08:43 AM

Have you tried using Bach Flower Remedies "Rescue Remedy"? It's a natural therapy you can use, comes in either drops or a spray, and you just have a few drops/spray every time you get that overwrought feeling. I find it really helps with the panic attacks etc. It won't fix it (all of the stuff Nicole mentioned would work towards that) but it does help ease the journey.

Kath

ABumpyGal · 12-22-2005, 05:37 PM

"Insides flipping inside out" is actually a very poetic and apt way of putting severe anxiety/panic IsabelleGrace.

Like Nicole, I've had great success with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in regards to anxiety. Another trick my shrink taught me that is similar to Nicole's breathing exercise is to try to slow your breathing by 1)breathing in through your nose 2)holding it for as many seconds as you can, it may only be two or so at first 3)let it out slowly through your mouth. Keep repeating this, adding a second or two of breath holding each time, until your breathing is calmer and normal. Actually counting the seconds helps, as that helps distract you as you go along and makes it easier to calm down.

Another exercise we did probably isn't for the faint of heart, but it almost CURED my severe panic. With my shrink with me, we intentionally "set me up" for a panic attack by going to a crowded mall where bad things had once happened to me. I, of course, quickly began to panic. She coached me through it, telling me that my heart was beating faster now due to adreneline and that I wasn't in any danger of having a heart attack (a fear of mine, as that's what they felt like!). We went through all the symptoms like this, making no effort to stop them, and she just kept repeating, "You're safe and ok. This is just a physiological process. Nothing more, nor less". I went through the whole panic attack without fleeing (one of my favorite coping mechanisms in cases like that) or anything. I realized I could go through an ENTIRE panic attack and not only not die, but be ok. This must have had a powerful effect on my subconscious as I rarely, rarely have tiny ones now, whereas in the past I'd have at least one huge one a week!

So just keep remembering... no matter what it feels like, you'll be just fine. Don't underestimate the power of something so simple. I would have if I hadn't experienced that form of therapy.

If things get REALLY bad and they are interfearing with your life, meds are an option. I take Valium right now, but it's mostly for muscle spasms due to Fibro/Myofascial Pain Syndrome. It's a recent addition to my med regimen and BOY does it HELP!!!!

(((((hugs))))) I hope things calm down for you. Anxiety sucks!

Dana