OK, this is a little strange but I am WAY tempted. My DH's ex-wife is a friend of ours. She and DH were married right out of high school and she came out of the closet after their divorce. She and her partner are friends of ours and we couldn't be happier that it all worked out that she is happy and so is he. We went to a memorial service for an old high school teacher this week and had a pretty deep discussion about our recurrent M/C problem. I just checked my messages on my phone and she left me a message that she and her partner had a talk after the memorial service and she has decided that she would like to donate her eggs to me.
Is this too wierd? I would be carrying a child that is genetically my DH & his ex's. I know we could never tell his family about this. They would freak. They don't know she is gay and already think it's beyond strange that she is our friend. I should also mention that the ex's sister had twins a couple of years ago with the aid of IVF. So the ex knows what is involved with this. (I have had LOTS of people offer, but once I tell them it is daily shots they back out immediately.) The ex and her partner don't want kids at all so I am not worried about any kind of attachement issues. We would give her as much or as little access as she wanted to the baby.
Here's another question. Obviously we would pay for all of her medical expenses. Do we need to get a lawyer involved? Could I ask a few more questions? This is a VERY serious offer from her and my head is spinning. ~Ann
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After 4 miscarriages, we are moving on to adoption. We are looking to adopt a bi-racial baby from a private agency in Florida.
All adoption paperwork is done and we are patiently (ha!) waiting for our little dream come true!
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I think that its an awesome Idea!! I would get a lawyer!! Just to be on the safe side!! ((HUGS))
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Ann, what a wonderful woman. A true and generous offer straight from the heart.
Yes, I would DEFINITELY get an attorney involved. An attorney will help you come up with important questions that you didn't even know you had, but I'm sure will be important. I'm not sure what kind of attorney you'd want - maybe an adoption attorney? Or you could call an adoption attorney for recommendations and go from there.
My skin is tingling! This is a really monumental offer. I would give it some time to let the dust settle, and then definitely talk to a lawyer. I like Meghan's idea of calling an adoption attorney, because if they aren't the right person, they'd know which one to call. Very similar issues are involved, and you would have plenty of time to work them out before any kind of egg exchange took place. Having things in writing between friends protects everyone involved, especially the child(ren). There can't be any confusion that way, and it can be ammended in the future if everyone wants it to.
Wow, I'd definitely think about it and talk to the doc. It would be great if you don't "need" donated eggs, but I wouldn't pass up an offer that feels so right to you. Just give it time... if something like this seems more and more like the right choice instead of less and less, then I would trust that instinct.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
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My first question is....do you know that your eggs are the problem? Are they what is causing you to miscarry?
If so, I think its a very real option for you...but I would definately involve an attorney.
My sister and I discussed her possibly carrying a baby for me if needed, and we both agreed to "make it legal" to protect everyone involved.
__________________ Becky
~Miscarriage, March 2004, 5 or 6 weeks~
~Angels Marissa & Gabriella, 9/4/04, 20 weeks, due to IC/PTL/PPROM/Incompetent Doctors~
~MICAH BORN SAFELY AT 8lbs11oz AT 39w4d, DECEMBER 2005 AFTER SUCCESSFUL PREVENTATIVE CERCLAGE!!!!!~
~MALACHI BORN SAFELY AT 8lbs6oz AT 39w1d, OCTOBER 2007 AFTER SUCCESSFUL PREVENTATIVE CERCLAGE!!!~
~MAKAIO BORN SAFETY AT 8lbs13oz AT 39w, SEPTEMBER 2009 AFTER SUCCESSFUL PREVENTATIVE CERCLAGE!!!~
Wow! I was sure you all would think I was off my rocker! The whole thing is a little nuts, I know, but it does sort of feel right. Thanks for being such positive friends. We're still sitting on the offer and discussing options. I have an HSG scheduled for next month and we would for sure wait until we found out if there was anything wrong with my uterus.
Reebekah- This is my other issue. I have no idea if it is my eggs that are the problem. This is a conversation I would need to have with my RE. I sure don't want to go through an egg donation just to lose another baby.
Thanks again for all of the positive feedback. I am off to a 4th of July party. Happy 4th of July to my American pals and to my non-american friends, happy monday!
__________________ Ann (35) & Kelly (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC since April 2000
Dx PCOS 2001
After 4 miscarriages, we are moving on to adoption. We are looking to adopt a bi-racial baby from a private agency in Florida.
All adoption paperwork is done and we are patiently (ha!) waiting for our little dream come true!
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I think this is an incredibly generous offer! You hubby's ex and her DF are AMAZING! I think that once you get your full workup, you talk to your RE about it. If s/he thinks it will work, get a lawyer and give it a try!
I hope you won't need donated eggs, though.
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Wow that was really awesome of her to offer. She sounds like a great person. And so does her partner.
I think you need a lawyer for this. I think she had to give up parental custody of the baby. I am not 100% but I think you do. If you don't I would suggest you get one just like everyone else says to do.
I think if you and your Dh feel comfortable doing this and she's willing (which she is) then I think you should go for it.
Interesting Development 
This is a VERY serious offer from her and my head is spinning. ~Ann
