International Adoption Experiences

VeggieGirl · 11-10-2003, 01:20 AM

Have any of you adopted a child from a foreign country?

I've always wanted to adopt a girl from China, because of their overwhelming amount of female children that are abandoned or given up. Having PCOS just gives me another excuse!

I have at least 10 years before I'm even eligible, but I'm researching the process. Any stories from people who have been through it?

Lisa67 · 11-10-2003, 03:40 PM

We are expecting our referral of a baby from China any week now.

The basics of our process so far is that we began paperchasing in August of 2002, our dossier was sent to China (DTC) in Feb of 2003 and here we sit now waiting for referral. So, our wait will hopefully be around 9 months from DTC to referral, then another 6-8 weeks till travel.

Things have changed in just the year and a half that we have been in the process and I am quite sure it could be a different process when you decide to go through it in 10 years or so.

You are right, the minimum age for China adoptions is 30.

Quote:

I've always wanted to adopt a girl from China, because of their overwhelming amount of female children that are abandoned or given up.

I strongly urge you to research this issue and do not let it be the only reason you are looking into adopting from China. It is a huge political issue that you will not want to address specifically in your future dealings with China adoptions. Who knows what the political climate in China will be in 10 years--they are already lifting certain restraints in regards to the one child policy, but stating to a Chinese official, or someone representing your agency, that you are adopting a baby girl from China because she is abandoned wouldn't be looked upon too kindly. Someone from adopting through our agency once told a Chinese official during their finalization interview that the reason they were adopting from China was "You don't love your girls and you leave them to die." Rest assured they returned to the states sans baby. Just an FYI you want to be very careful with this issue.

I'll have even more to talk about in the coming weeks after I get my referral and plan further for travel. In the meantime, if you have any specific questions please let me know!

Take care,
Lisa

ScrapbookChick · 11-11-2003, 02:25 AM

Hi Veggiegirl,

That's wonderful you are so open to adoption now and I hope everything works out for you. I adopted my children from Guatemala and it was a 13 month process start to finish (this was before Guatemala's system went into hiatus, though.)

I do agree with Lisa, and I hope you realize this isn't a slam against one line of your post, but adopting because you "feel sorry for" any sex or race of child shouldn't be a motivation. Adopt because you want children's laughter in your home and to have peanut butter smeared on your face when you get sloppy kisses. The same reason people "baby dance" to get pg. That's why I and every person I know who has adopted has done so...not because of any political or social reasons. We're not the Red Cross or a charity group. We're families brought together with extra special circumstances.

Also, I currently live in Korea, another Asian country with adoptions and the different Asian cultures are *very* proud and have complex feelings about people from other races adopting their children and any comment that insinuates the country/government/every day people are at fault for the situation will be the kiss of death for an adoption. (Lisa, I still can't believe that person said that to an adoption official!!)

Veggie, you're so wise to be thinking of this now and learning all you can. At 20 I was scared to death to think about adoption so I really admire your open mind and heart. Please post again any questions you have and take care of yourself!

VeggieGirl · 11-11-2003, 04:21 AM

Ok, maybe I should rephrase that line....what I mean is, I want to adopt because I want to raise a child, and I feel drawn to Chinese adoption because of the reasons I stated. I don't want to adopt simply to do charitable work or anything. I worded that badly.

I also don't want anyone to think that I'm against China for their current one child rule. I'm actually in agreement with it- I feel very strongly about overpopulation, starvation, and the plights of overpopulated countries. While researching about veganism I've come across alot of information about these topics. I think the one child rule is a good one, and I also have nothing against the Chinese themselves for generally preferring males- I don't think it's right to criticize a culture when you haven't experienced it or been raised in it. There are no motives in my adoption plan other than to give one of the abandoned girls a loving home.

I'm hoping to travel to China next year with Cross Cultural Solutions, a volunteer program that sends people to countries to do 2 or more weeks of volunteer work. I've always been interested in their culture, and also, learning as much as I can about it will help me in my decision to adopt. I'm looking forward to the trip!

I hope that clears it up for you

Thanks, Lisa, I'm excited to hear how your referral goes, and Scrapbook Chick, thanks for your info, too!

Lisa67 · 11-11-2003, 10:55 AM

You sure have a good head on your shoulders! I applaud you for doing research about the whole situation--there are people twice your age who have no clue about anything of your nature!!

Thanks for the clarification--and keep checking in on this forum--I think you'll get lots of good advice!

Lisa

PS--Thanks for not taking what I said harshly--I thought of that last night for some reason and I'm glad you understood what I meant!

JenJen78 · 11-11-2003, 01:37 PM

I think it is so awesome that you already know that you want to adopt. Dh and I adopted our son from Guatemala and it took us 9 months (start to finish). Ours was also before all the problems in Guatemala. I'm 25, and I thought I was young to be thinking about adoption.

Best wishes to you,

VeggieGirl · 11-11-2003, 01:41 PM

JenJen, your son is adorable! His pic brought a smile to my face!!!

JenJen78 · 11-11-2003, 04:38 PM

Thanks Veggiegirl!

We are very proud of him. He is surely a blessing to have in our family.

Please keep us posted on how things go with you, and if you have any questions, be sure to post them here. All these ladies helped me out so much when I was going through trying to figure what the best route for us was.

By the way, I don't think I've posted it here yet, so I'll take the time to let everyone know that we are researching #2!!!

We're not sure where we will go, as Guatemala is so messed up right now, that I'm not really comfortable going there. We don't plan to start "officially" until sometime next year, but we are researching right now.

I'm so excited to be able to think about adopting again.

dna · 11-11-2003, 06:24 PM

Hi veggiegirl

We too have adopted...a son (who is now 20 months old) from Ukraine in June of this year

Adoption is a joyous privledge that has allowed us to enrich our lives with a running toddler :o

At this stage by the time you are ready to adopt you will know everything you need to know and will be set on a country ! its what we did..we really looked into every country and eliminated as they each have restrictions !

We have never been happier as a family

Take good care,
Amy

ScrapbookChick · 11-12-2003, 12:33 AM

Hey Veggiegirl,

2nd the thanks for understanding my comments as well. As I said I didn't want to offend or make you feel less than welcome.

I envy anyone who is able to adopt from China. My heart ached over the fact that we were unable to adopt there. (My husband's career travel restirctions.) However, as Lisa said, things are changing, and they are allowing families with more than one child to adopt now. If they had an escort program we would adopt in a heart beat. I know they've lowered the age limit, too, it used to be 35, so who knows, maybe it will be 25 in a few years and you can begin sooner than you thought?

Take care,

ScrapbookChick · 11-12-2003, 12:35 AM

I'm so excited for your 2nd child! Best wishes on your journey. I understand about Guatemala hesitations. We're in the same boat, and were hoping in a year or two things might settle down. But I just don't know either. Some doors might be opening for us to pursue our # 3 again, which I thought was a closed door until we were back in the States. So, I pray we'll both be led to our forever babies wherever they are!