Isolated

flash32 · 09-27-2002, 07:56 PM

I want to stop being the person I am because i really dont like how i feel. I'm a very quiet and laid back person that is now coming to the realization of how much i have isolated myself from people around me. I dont allow many people to get close to me and i dont know the real reason for that other than the fact that its just easier and less complicated that way. I let very few people into my life and even with those people they dont know everything about me or how i feel. When people ask me how i'm doing whether its family or friends i say that everything is going great, smile and let them to continue to believe that i'm such a good person that they believe i am and that i have everything going for me. I want to have close relationships with people but its hard for me to let people in and see the real me, how i feel and that i'm hurting. i dont want my family to be worried about me and i dont want my friends to think i'm asking for pity because i'm not. I guess i'm afraid if i tell people how i really feel i might lose them or they will think differently of me. This has also effected any kind of relationships i've had with guys, i really dont date much, i've never been in love, and sometimes i really feel that its just easier to be on my own. I despertly wish i wasnt like this, so distant and afraid of getting close to anyone. Even though i'm only in college I can honestly see myself unmarried and alone years from now because i know myself and i know how I am..... but i dont want to be this way this is not the life i want to live........i'm just really confused

kryschen · 09-27-2002, 08:02 PM

I went through feeling the same way in high school and college - it was a long, hard road for me to travel, and a lot of times, I did it alone. I did make some very good friends, though, who were very caring and helpful. Please know that any number of us are here for you whenever you need anything...myself included. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.

taah · 09-30-2002, 05:32 AM

I was actually the same as you... I kept everything to myself... let everyone think I had the perfect life, things were great, helped everyone with there problems but kept mine to myself... well doing all this, the stress kept building and building and so did the anxiety and my nerves finally became a wreck until I finally could no longer take it and finally had a break down... then I could no longer hide it from my family, I had to have help then... its amazing how helpful my family and friends were , I wonder now why I ever put myself through that... My husband now watches out for me to make sure I do not do that again, he makes sure I do not isolate myself from others and that I do not keep my feelings to myself.. I urge you to do the same... it will finally get to you... start trying to talk to people more.. you will probably be surprised at the support you will recieve..

Best wishes,
TERRA