...i remember last valentines day...exactly a week after Aimee and Dana were born and taken to Heaven...how i thought i'd never make it through another day. I cant believe they would be a year old already.
I had all these plans...how i'd commemorate them...and i didnt...couldnt...do anything. All i did was have day dreams of them with pig tails and crawling around my living room floor...giggling while i chased them into the kitchen...the dreams were so vivid it was like i had true memories of them...
my husband brought me home two baby pink long stemmed roses...and i just cried...but then i was okay til my sister sent me a bouquet that said 'remembering with you'...and that was it...i just shut down. I couldnt think about them...i tried to remember the horror of that day and found i couldnt...its like my brain shut it out. Sighhhhhhh...
I heard a song on the cmt station...it was called 'didnt know my name'...he wrote a song from the point of view of a baby who was miscarried...how it was taken by the hand and walked to Heaven...and there at the end of the video you see two little girls...side by side...walking into the light with this cowboy (the singer). I really think that my girls send me signs...that might sound weird...but i think they find ways to let me know they're okay. Sounds dumb but it makes me feel better.
Anyway sorry for my rambling...i just wanted to say
happy birthday to my angel babies...hoping the angels make you pigtails...like i would...
love mommie
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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to the strongest mommy I know....
those are most definitely your daughters saying "hi momma'.....sounds like you did a wonderful job remembering them yesterday. Two pink roses, some personal tears, some joyful "what would have been smiles', and a great song. They most definitely have the cutest pig tails....and the most contagious giggles. Go catch them.....
Keep on believing in angels!!!!
__________________ Me 38, Dh, 36,
DD, Katie Grace 4/8/03 she's 5 now!!
DS, Samuel Fenway...born 12/22/04, he's 4 now!
With Katie, tested ++++at 12dpo
13dpo: 428, 16dpo:1,903!!!
Born on April 8, 2003
8lbs, 6oz, 20 inches long
With Sam,4/12/04 beta= 131 at 8 or 11 dpo, p4 14.4
4/15/04 beta= 1,059 at 11 or 14 dpo
4/28/04=36,850 P4=35.2
Kim you made me cry I too believe in signs & I bet that song was a sign from your girls.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
And you are a very strong mommy
Traci
__________________
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2 fur kitties- 9 angels (Single Loss 05/03; Quad Loss 09/03-D&C; Twin Loss 02/04; Twin Loss 2004. All RPL testing "normal" No cause found ('05 & '09)
New Gonal-F cycle started 9/5/09- Cancelled 9/14/09 due to too many follies all growing the same (all under 10mm still) Started Soy 120mg CD12-16!
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i firmly believe that my angels are in heaven watching over me and their dad and sisters and brother. and i also believe when you 'feel' things, like you did listening to that song, that it's really a sign letting you know that it's ok. your girls are watching over you now and you respect their memory the best way you can and that's all you can do. they don't expect anything from you that you can't give them.
my shane was born 3 days after i miscarried the year before. and although i miss that baby terribly, i can't let my pain cast a shadow on shane. when the miscarriages pop into my head, or the what could have beens, i remember and sometimes cry and my heart hurts but i know they are in heaven watching out for me now and we'll meet up someday.
__________________ dx PCOS 3/03 & Metabolic Syndrome 2/05
I have every classic symptom of both diseases.
current meds: 300mg cardizem CD & 25mg HCTZ for HBP, multivitamin, 2500mcg b12, 2000mg metformin
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I cried, too. I don't have too many dreams about Rivi anymore (I used to dream about him in Heaven, sitting by a creek, under a tree, reading a book. I'd sit next to him and we'd talk). Maybe he knows that I'm doing better now. I wish I could have more of those dreams, though!
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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"I heard a song on the cmt station...it was called 'didnt know my name'...he wrote a song from the point of view of a baby who was miscarried...how it was taken by the hand and walked to Heaven...and there at the end of the video you see two little girls...side by side...walking into the light with this cowboy (the singer). I really think that my girls send me signs...that might sound weird...but i think they find ways to let me know they're okay. Sounds dumb but it makes me feel better."
Kim, I am sending out birthday wishes for your girls with you. I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I believe strongly in signs. I know that Alex and Sydney are sending me signs. I just know. Just like Aimee and Dana are sending you signs. I wish I could see that video. Do you know the singer or the name of the song. No, no don't tell me, it would just to be emotional for me. I cried reading your post just thinking about it.
I am sending you out big hugs in bed rest land. I hope that things are going smoothly for you. Next year this time, you will have a new little baby to occupy your time, and help you to celebrate his/hers big sisters' birthdays.
Thanks Clarissa and everybody...its so nice to be able to share my innermost thoughts with you who understand...and really care...i really feel your support and thats what i need sometimes...i hope i can do the same for you.
and just in case you change your mind...or are interested at a later time...the singer is George Canyon...he was runner up on Nashville Star i think...sort of like the idol show for country music. Its a nice song...and i have to say its comforting in a way...
Hugs to you all
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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Its been a year already... 
