Just beginning Adoption Journey

melindaleigh · 11-23-2009, 02:47 PM

Hi everyone. If you could help me out with a few questions I have I would greatly appreciate it.

DH and I just got done with a failed IVF cycle (cancelled for poor response) and that was our last shot at TTC. We have decided to embark on our adoption journey.

Bethany Christian Services was recommended to us. Have any of you used them?

What was your experience with Domestic Infant Adoption?

Any suggestions for books to read? Advice for the best financing options/companies?

Thanks so much in advance.

kimmy-ki · 11-23-2009, 02:49 PM

Hi Melinda! I can´t answer any of your questions-- I just wanted to wish you the best of luck on your journey and prayers that you will have a beautiful baby or child at the end of the rainbow!

melindaleigh · 11-23-2009, 04:21 PM

Thank you Kimmy-Ki!

Erin H · 11-23-2009, 05:46 PM

Melinda-Sorry to hear that your IVF cycle was cancled. Adoption is a very exciting journey! DH and I are doing a domestic infant adoption. We signed with our agency at the very beninning of February. We used an agency in FL and we love them. If you would like more info just pm me. I did talk with BCS but they could not help me b/c I am in LA. I have heard both good and bad experiences with them, more good though. We were matched at the end of August, then again with a new bm at the beginning of October. Before we even knew the first bm was gone we had another one that chose us! As for books, the only one I read on adoption was Chicken Soup for the adopting Soul. That is not a very helpful book but it was good. We did not have to get financing so I cannot really help there. We have been paying as we go so we have not had to come up with any chunk of money. Any questions you may have just let me know and I will try to help. Good luck!

melindaleigh · 11-23-2009, 07:44 PM

Thanks for the great info Erin!

I just pm'd you.

calches · 11-24-2009, 01:48 AM

Hello! Welcome to the wonderful rollercoaster of adoption....they'll be your ups/down but at the end you will have your baby and it's all worth it! (Which I am sure that you know!

We did domestic infant adoption and honestly the way that we started out we thought that we were going to be doing an independant adoption (where we found the bm)....but after 2 failed situations with that we looked at alternate routes....we were all gung ho on signing with an agency but after much searching and praying we just couldn't fork over $10-$15K with no gaurantees...so we decided that we would go through adoption consultants and in the end after having another failed situation (we had done an agnecy match and after 4 days and doing all the paperwork and arranging cashing out our 401k we found out that the original AP's came back and said that they wanted the situation..thank goodness it all worked out that way b/c now that agency is out of business and we would of been out a TON of money...) but we actually found our agency and BM through www.handtohold.com....we were matched at the end of May 2008 and our son was born 4 days later...it was an amazing ride..but so glad it's over.

About financing..
-Start saving now. Do fundraisers..garage sales...we did one in 3 days and raised $1000...there is a yahoo group specifically for adoption fundraisers....I am still a member of it and they are very active and have great ideas....
-Loan...this is the last resort in my opinion, but hey, if you need a few thousand to finish the adoption then this is the way to go. We went to our bank and added about 10K to a loan that we already had and it wasn't a big deal at all
-I talked about our 401k....we knew we were going to be taking a hit on (b/c of the money taken out is taxes heavily) but the adoption tax crediti went towards that and we even got money back..which has never happened....we've always had to pay in...so nice to get money back for a change.

Books....all of the books that I have read were totally out of date and really had no relevance to our adoption. I did a ton of research online and that is where I got alot of my understanding about adoption and the different types of adoption..open vs. closed.

I say, start researching agencies, talk to them, and talk to past AP's of the agency...and when you feel it's right you will know

melindaleigh · 11-24-2009, 12:28 PM

Thank you Calches! Such great information. I am excited to get started.

Erin H · 12-14-2009, 06:06 PM

How are thing going Melinda?

melindaleigh · 12-15-2009, 12:18 PM

Hi Erin!

Things are going OK. Trying to gather all of my information and get some fundraisers going. Some days I feel like it is SO far away.

So far I have contacted Bethany, Your agency, and Everlasting Adoptions (have you ever heard of them?) - any feedback?

I am starting two fundraisers - one selling Auntie Anne's pretzels, and one is a pasta fundraiser.

I also started rolling all of our spare change in jars and so far have rolled 35.00 in change!

Your baby boy should be arriving soon!!! Are you getting excited? Did the BM get a c-section date?