Just diagnosed and can't stop crying.

promise42 · 02-20-2007, 02:38 PM

I was finally formally diagnosed with PCOS on February 5, 2007. My midwife started me on Metformin immediately, based on my symptoms, even before my labs came back. She called yesterday and the labs confirmed the diagnosis. Today I start 1500 mg and next Tuesday I jump to 1700 mg, which is supposed to be my final dosage. She also told me yesterday to start a low-carb diet -- and that is when the depression and crying hit me.

My journey to this point is very long. I began having symptoms when I hit puberty - hair growth and severe acne and very oily hair and skin - around the age of 12. I had my first menstrual flow at 14 and for a year they were fairly regular although extremely heavy with horrible cramps. I also started to really gain weight, although I had always been chubby, I soared from a size 14 to a size 22 during my freshman year of high school. When I was 15 I had a continuous flux for 3 straight months. My mom took me to an OBGYN who did a regular exam, but no special bloodwork, and put me on the pill. My cycle regularized, but the rest of the symptoms did not improve. I did manage to get back down to a size 14 after about 4 months of severe dieting.

I continued on the pill through college, and the symptoms - especially the acne -- seemed to be improving somewhat, although I gradually started to put the weight back on. My senior year of college I was diagnosed with General Anxiety and Panic disorder, after having suffered with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks since early childhood. I was put on Zoloft for the GAPD and my weight started to skyrocket. When I was 23 I stopped taking the pill. I didn't have a flux for over a year. By this point my weight was up to around 275.

Then I met my DH. I went back on the pill, but my symptoms returned - with a vengence. After we'd been dating about 2 months, my DH sent me a link to info about PCOS, because he thought I had it. I asked my OBGYN about it, and she said, without even pausing to consider it, "No, you don't have that, you're just fat." After my DH and I married, I had new doctors. Again, I brought up the PCOS, and again got the same answer. Around this time, I switched from Zoloft to Effexor for my GAPD. I was up to 330 pounds. The weight started to come off and I thought I'd found the answer. I lost 20 pounds and then I stuck there. I've bounced from 295 to 315 over the last 3 years.

So, that's what I've been doing for the last 3 years, trying, unsuccessfully, to lose the weight, as the doctors all told me I shouldn't get pregnant at my current weight. During this time I've also been to a dermatologist for the acne and facial hair - with no results. Frustrated, I finally made a list of all of my symptoms and made an appointment with my midwife. I'd barely read off the symptoms when she said, "I think you have PCOS".

My initial reaction was relief. FINALLY, here was someone who was listening to me and FINALLY I had an answer and a solution. I thought the Metformin would do it all, would enable my regular diet and exercise efforts to work. Apparently, this isn't the case as she said I needed to be on a low-carb diet as well. Now, for some the idea of going on a low-carb diet may not be upsetting, but for me this is drastic. My husband and I are both foodies. I love food - especially bread and pasta and potatoes and cookies and cake. My main hobby is creating new cake and icing recipes and designs. I've also worked as a professional baker and cake decorator, and while I'm no longer doing that full-time due to carpal tunnel syndrome, I still enjoy baking and decorating as a hobby. For me, going on a low-carb diet means cutting a big hole in the middle of who I am. It means removing a big part of what I love out of my life.

I was looking forward to doing so many things with my children (when we have them): baking cookies, birthday cakes, traditional holiday dinners. Now I feel like I won't be able to do these things with my children; that I won't be able to share something I truly love with them.

And so I cried myself to sleep last night. I feel like my life has been crushed. What's the point of being healthy if you're miserable?

jthoman · 02-20-2007, 03:00 PM

I have had symptoms of PCOS for nearly 4 years, been TTC for 3-1/2+. Finally diagnosed last June after many doctors. I know how hard it is to lose weight. I'd been using exercise, but didn't change my diet for quite awhile. Well of course that didn't work. I did three rounds of chlomid last year to no avail, so I decided that I was going to lose weight. Since October, I have lost nearly 15 pounds. Now you have to remember that this was over the holidays, so I lost about half in October and November, maintained over the holidays and lost the rest since then. My suggestion is to see a nutrionist. My dad was severely overweigth and was diagnosed with diabetes in october. He started seeing a nutrionist and the diabetic and insulin resistance diets have changed dramatically in the last few years. You no longer cut out sugar and carbs, you eat more regular meals and several snacks throughout the day and you have to stick to serving portions. My dad has lost over 50 pounds since October by following this diet. His diet is not like Atkins and other low-carb diets, you still eat good carbs in moderation. This diet is similar to glycemic index diets. I just purchased a book called the new glycose revolution and the writers have a whole separate book on PCOS. My dad is just following a 2000 calorie diet, but he is still eating all of the things he used, just in smaller amounts. The 100 calorie snack packs that all the big junk food companies are making are actually really good! I've been eating them in between meals. I hope this helps!

Eva37 · 02-20-2007, 06:24 PM

hi
aww

getting dx is a big thing, i remember. That's why i find this site so amazing. You will learn so much here - and make so many great true friends.
eva

junior_j · 02-20-2007, 06:29 PM

The above replies says it all to be honest..being dianosed can be tough scary frightning confusing i could carry on but this site offers everything u need to know about from little things to big things... i have met loads of friends on here and whenever i have a question i know it will be awnsered quickly..

welcome by the way

Jess x

HOLLAND · 02-20-2007, 06:47 PM

Welcome to SC

lachicarubia · 02-20-2007, 07:51 PM

Hi Promise,

to SC.

First of all, I can't believe that those docs just brushed you off when you asked about PCOS, and told you that you were just fat. That is totally unacceptable.
I know that sometimes it is hard, but if you want to successfully treat this condition, sometimes you need to make sacrifices.

Second of all, how nice that your DH is so supportive.

Many cysters have had success treating their PCOS with Met, and a low carb diet. The more you stick to what your doc has Rx, the better your chances of success. Sure, you could continue to eat all the carbs that you want, it is your choice, but then you might not have as much success treating your PCOS.

Low carb doesn't mean NO carb. You just need to limit your carb intake. It doesn't mean no more bread or cake, it means limiting the amount, and frequency of eating those simple carbs.

Just think, you might just find that you enjoy making new healthy creations to take the place of the high sugar, simple carbs (cakes) that you currenly enjoy creating. I have see pictures of some amazing healthy creations, it could just turn out to be a creative outlet for you. Just a suggestion.

I wish you great success in treating your PCOS

deedlebug06 · 02-20-2007, 09:02 PM

Welcome to SC!

wohiomom · 02-20-2007, 09:10 PM

I just wanted to say welcome too.

I'm also recently diagnosed and starting Met for Insulin Resistance.

A book that you might want to look for is Insulin Resistance Diet by Cheryle Hart and Mary Kay Grossman. It explains about balance carbs and proteins.

The others are right that you don't have to give up carbs totally. Yes limit them but not give them up that would not be realistic for a lifetime. It might be one cookie at a time when you make them at Christmas or a small slice of pie or cake but not never having a bite of real goodies forever.

Becky

alwayzlele24 · 02-21-2007, 05:20 AM

I was diagnosed 2 years ago after going to several doctors. I had the same problems but my doctor's told me it was "growing pains". i've had the symptoms for 12 years now. It's not easy and we are ttc now as well. In addition to your weight get your Bp and such checked. When you finally do get prego, you want to make sure your healthy enough. Read as much as you can about pcos. it increases miscarriages and all sorts of bad stuff.make sure your educated about it BUT don't focus too much on that. Focus on spend time together and keep you mind off of it, they say it's easier to concieve when your not so stressed. It may take a while. some women get prego within the first few treatments.. others take different treatments and years.At any rate... Just remember there are lots of women whho are here to help. From one newbie to another...GOOD LUCK!!!

science_annie · 02-24-2007, 05:43 AM

Oh no, please dry your eyes! I completely empathize with your story... When I was dx at 14 the endo told me I had gotten PCOS due to being fat, and if I just lost weight it would be OK. She told me to exercise and stop eating junk food (which I didn't) and the PCOS would go away. My referring doc told me I'd never have children with PCOS, esp if I didn't by age 24 (that's come and gone, but annie's still in school and no dude so babies are a ways off).

I know what it is to feel that the dreams of your future have been dashed. But all is NOT lost! First off, losing weight is one of the best feelings in the world. It would compare favourably with baking cookies for the joy it can bring you. Secondly, you can be a foodie and cook low GI! I'd like to recommend the Low Carb Gourmet written by a chef here in Vancouver. It even has dessert recipes! http://www.amazon.com/Low-Carb-Gourm...e=UTF8&s=books

I can particularly recommend the brownie recipe. Not for everyday eating for sure, but could easily be the kind of treat to fill your house with the smell of chocolatey baking.

This site has shown me that although most women with PCOS struggle with conceiving, lots (maybe even most!) eventually succeed. Very different picture than that doc painted to me all those years ago.

I belong to the LadiesLosingLarge weightloss thread, and in the last 6mths have lost about 40lbs. I'm a complete stickler for organic fresh food, and have really enjoyed learning new recipes and cooking new things. I know a foodie like you will always be able to find joy in the food they prepare!

To sum up, I still think you'll be baking with your kids, just maybe not every week, and maybe not the same recipes your mum used with you. BUT that fun will be there, as well as the fun of teaching your kids to be active and healthy and demanding the very best for their lives!!

I hope you will be feeling cheerier soon, it is so tough to deal with a new dx and very natural to feel anxious and sad. I just hope our support on this site will reassure you that all is not lost!

Annie

THAMESIDE · 02-25-2007, 01:34 AM

Hello Promise, god it sucks dont it, im exactly the same, im also a cake decorator, resting at the moment, i was diagnosed at 21 im now 38 from a early age i was hairy and fat, and miserable, i suffer from depression and have done for years, being diagnosed was like being hit with a bat, my doctor just said i wouldnt have any children because i was fat, and that was that, over the years things have changed with doctors and then seem to have learnt how to be a bit more tackful, well some have, i love cake i must admit i have it almost every day, im addicted, i love bread, potatoes like no tomorrow and rice and pasta, but i love cake most, not biscuits tho'. so when they say go on a low carb diet its like are you kidding, and its a sacrifice you do eventually have to make if you want to lose weight and control the symptoms, i know its too late for me now to have a natual baby and i probably wont have children ie adoption or foster, it really is up to you, but atleast you know that we are all in this together and have been where you are now and we all feel for you, just take one day at a time and decide, healthy body or happy mind. take care promise always here for you
Macalla

promise42 · 02-25-2007, 05:17 PM

Hi ladies! Thank you so much for all of your support and words of encouragement.

I'm feeling much better now. DH and I went to the grocery store and I loaded up on all the things I COULD eat and got really inspired! We plan to make a trip to a Whole Foods soon so I can get more items that we don't have at our regular grocery store. I can't wait to try out almond flour!

I've also lost 7.5 pounds, which makes me very excited and determined to see this through!

The only downside is my tummy is not happy! I think it's the Met? I'm nauseous most of the time and don't want to eat and when I do, I'm running to the bathroom like every 15 minutes. Please tell me this will go away soon?