Just diagnosed...the good, the bad, and the ugly

xtencornfield · 05-20-2008, 05:46 PM

I was just diagnosed with PCOS recently and had my first appointment with the NP at my doctor's office who specializes in RE and PCOS. She was great and very helpful. Getting this diagnosis has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I'm so happy to finally have the explanation I didn't even know I was missing for years. After going through teenage years with irregular, at best, mentrual cycles, ever-increasing facial hair, skin tags, weight gain and troubles losing weight, this was definitely an AH HAH! moment for me. However, at the same time knowing what I know of my mom's history and her decade-long battle with type II diabetes, this was the worst blow I've ever had.

The good news is that I found out now, a couple months before we start trying to get pregnant. This will give me some time to try to get on the right path. Luckily, I already exercise regularly and while the diet issue will be hard (it's never easy is it?), I think I can handle it. My doctor and NP have been very on top of this and we're going to be trying Glucophage as soon as I go for some secondary testing.

The bad new is that I have no clue what's going to happen. Will I be able to conceive? Will I end up just like my mom? And then the milliion other little questions like, so can I ever have ice cream again? LOL

The ugly is that my husband is not being very supportive at the moment. I know it's mostly because he doesn't have any clue what PCOS really is. His first reaction was, "Well, you just need to eat less." Sigh. So getting him up to speed is going to be a huge drain on me emotionally...it already is. We just need to sit down and have a good talk about this. All I'm asking is for some support, some glimmer that he "gets it" although I know he never really can. Luckily I have my mom and my best friend for support.

So that was a very, very long way of saying HI and I'm really glad to find a place where I can talk to women with the same issues

choirmissy · 05-20-2008, 09:13 PM

It's a hard thing to get. My mother only now is beginning to understand and it's been 5 years. You may very well have no problems conceiving. For me, met (generic glucophage) was all it took for me to ovulate. For others, it's a far harder struggle. You know what is going on now, which always helps. Are you more prone to type 2 diabetes? Yes, but you probably already knew this from your mom's background. Can you head it off? Very likely.

This place is full of advice & support. Welcome.

PTO MOM · 05-20-2008, 09:24 PM

As a new person as well it is so hard to try to explain PCOS to your husband when you barely understand it. My husband and I spent a Saturday at Barnes and Nobles looking and purchasing books to help education ourselves. Just think half the battle is over. You know what you have now it's the last half when you are going to figure out what you are going to do about it!

Good Luck to you and your husband

dianna832 · 05-21-2008, 04:19 PM

It's is very depressing when someone so close is not supportive... I hope that you can get your husband to read at least a little about PCOS or just have a little heart to heart and tell him how you feel about him not being supportive... I wish you the best... we are here to support each other!

xtencornfield · 05-21-2008, 05:58 PM

Thanks for the comments. I actually had a little heart-to-heart with my husband last night during dinner and fully explained to him in TMI-detail what was going on. He really didn't previously understand how serious this is for me and that it is likely going to be a lifelong process of dealing with this. He listened very carefully (which is hard for him in general, LOL), actually asked questions, and told me that he wants to know what's going on every step of the way. It was a relief to sit down and hash through all of this with him and comforting to know that I can really rely on him to be supportive.

Melvin'sWifey · 05-21-2008, 11:45 PM

When I first found out I had PCOS my hub was not ultra supportive either. I expected him to baby me and want to hold me while I cried and ask me how I felt about things. WRONG! He made the mistake of saying things like "Just relax it'll get better" and things of that nature, but over the past couple years he's gotten so much better. After seeing how many trillions of doctor's appointments, blood tests, pill popping, painful and scary procedures I've been through, he's gotten much better about it. The worst part is really him having to understand that I have a hormonal imbalance and there is not always a way to completely control it. I'm sure things will get better for you! Take care!

Eva37 · 05-22-2008, 04:08 AM

welcome to sc

SandV · 05-22-2008, 05:02 AM

I was diagnosed with PCOS before I met DH. After 2 years together, he doesn't fully understand. However, he is extremely supportive. The biggest issue I am facing with him is the fact he likes my size and shape. So as I am trying to lose some weight, he is trying to fight me on it. This is a Caribbean cultural thing.
You will find some great information and support on this site.

artjournalier · 05-23-2008, 04:10 PM

Hopefully drugs will make the WL easier - from what I understand, carb cravings are a result of the problem, not really the cause. I think we can all eat ice cream-just not all the time.

I had a nutritionist a while back (before PCOS dx) tell me that it's ok to eat badly 10% of the time, as long as you eat well 90% of the time. I've gotten away from that and intend to get back on track.

Any way, welcome, and I think things will get better!

Somewhat Damaged · 05-24-2008, 01:04 AM

I'm glad to hear that your husband is coming around

Sometimes I think it just takes them awhile to 'get it'. When I embarked on my health journey my husband was skeptical at first, but as I learned more and more about what was going on, and talked to him about it (often but not so often that he got sick of hearing it) he started becoming more supportive.

We had arguments at first and I finally got it out of him that the thought of me 'being sick' was scaring him. For awhile after that I didn't talk much about what was going on with me, but as I get closer and closer to a formal diagnosis, the more supportive he becomes.

Just like everything, it's a journey!

dschni · 05-25-2008, 01:25 PM

Good luck to you and your husband. I hope that you find the support here as helpful as I do. I felt like I was a freak turning into a man, until I discovered this site and felt so connected with these people.

sillykatt · 05-25-2008, 02:08 PM

Wow! you are ALL so helpful! Just reading this thread has brought so much to light

I 15 yr old daughter was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. She has teh skin tags, obesity, carb addiction/craving (noodles) depression, pre diabetes (dark skin on neck, armpits, etc.) and her period is totally messed up. It did start, late, but then stopped...But I swear she still PMS's each month.lol Her Dr. started her on metformin 500mg BID, Zoloft 25mg qd and BCP. Her stomache pain kept her out of school for a week. She goes thru so much crap with the kids at school.. they call her hypochondriac, fat, etc.. The girls are the worst. I am soooooo relieved to have been given a diagnosis. It's not a good one, but at least I know now.:_) I was told about you from someone on craigslist forums...thanks murality

Lovin'Life · 05-28-2008, 12:16 PM

xten, welcome to the boards...I am new too! : ) It's very difficult for other people who have NO IDEA to totally understand and be sympathetic. Trust me, I've received some very insensitive comments. But, these boards have REALLY helped me fully understand what's going on in my body. And, then, I've been able to educate those around me, My fiancee, my parents, friends, etc. Every time I learn something new that I feel is important for those around me to know, I let them know. This is a learning process for you AND them...as time goes on and you become more knowledgable..it will get easier.

Hang in there and good luck! we're here for you!

Mail Girl · 05-28-2008, 05:44 PM

My husband wasn't very supportive either. To try to help him understand what I'm dealing with, I let him go to one of my DR appointments. I also asked him to fill my little pill case with all the various medications I take daily. That seemed to help. I wouldn't say he's Mr. Enlightened, but he is trying.

I noticed that there is a thread on this site for husbands/boyfriends. Maybe you could get him to check it out.

Good luck!

LaTejanaFria · 05-29-2008, 01:35 AM

Just as a reminder for everyone: there's a great "handout" available to give to family members to help them understand what you're going through: Pamphlet for Close Relatives and Friends of women with PCOS