Just diagnosed--impact on relationships?

senoritacristina · 07-13-2006, 05:24 AM

I was just diagnosed with PCOS yesterday.... probably have had this for years, and I'm 30 now. Basically, figured out that I might have PCOS after I found out I had insulin resistance. Had an ultrasound yesterday, and I have polycystic ovaries. My hormone levels are normal, but I've been on the Pill for a long time.

Although I don't want to have kids right now, I love my boyfriend very much and want to marry him and have a family eventually. He very much wants to have children, and I've had to tell him that I'm not sure I'll be able to do that.

Any advice on helping your partner deal with this? I didn't realize this would be so hard. He is being really wonderful, and I want to know what I can do to help.

I guess another option would just be to end the relationship, but I care about this guy a lot and know I want to be with him. We were good friends for many years, and have been dating for about two years. Part of me thinks we'll be okay, but he does have the type of personality where he is going to have trouble coping with the unknown.

Any thoughts? Is anyone else out there going through something similar?

one-hit_wonder · 07-13-2006, 06:14 AM

First, welcome here!

You're definitely not alone. PCOS can be hard on partners. I recommend counselling. My dh and I had counselling before we got married (it's pretty much mandatory where we're from). It helped resolve many issues for us before we ever tied the knot. Granted, I didn't know at the time that I had PCOS, but I'm confident that we'd have worked it out.

Remember, your partner should love you for you. Having a family is a massive part of that relationship, but it's all built on the love and loyalty you have for each other.

Hope that helps!

libchick · 07-13-2006, 07:33 AM

Hi senoritacristina!! Welcome to the cysters!!

First up let me say Congrats on getting diagnosed (dx'ed)!! Why?? Bec now the doc's can start treating you!! I love the fact that i've been dx'ed with something that the medical profession (and i) can treat!!

It makes me feel better to know that i'm not "stuck" with pcos and can't do anything about it.

As to ttc'ing and (maybe) not being able to have kids ~ all the cysters can relate to that as we've all been told that. BUT check out the Mommy Boards and you'll see that, though it might be harder for us to ttc, it's def NOT impossible!!

I'm glad you've got a supportive and loving boyfriend!! Trust me it makes dealing with pcos much easier. And i know it must have been hard to tell him that you might not be able to get pregnant (it was when i told my hubby2b), but the fact that he's stuck with you means that he really loves you.

I was very open about the fact that i might not be able to get pregnant easily (or at all) when my h2b and i started getting serious. But he's told me time and again that he loves ME and if we have kids, that would be great, but he wants to be with me regardless.

Quote:

but he does have the type of personality where he is going to have trouble coping with the unknown.

So make pcos "known" to him ~ talk to him about the symptoms, treatments etc and ask him to have a look at some info on it. My h2b doesn't like to read much, so i've been telling him snippits here and there of pcos and how it works and how it's to be treated.

sorry this was so long! lol! But i hope it helps ~ pm me anytime if you want to chat!

MiracleMom · 07-13-2006, 02:03 PM

Conceiving with PCOS is not impossible!!
I did on Metformin after 15 years of marriage!{Note- I only found out about Met. a couple of months before I got pregnant!}
As for your boyfriend -- if he loves you for you he will be supportive!!
Educate yourself and then pass the info on to him.I'm sure that he will be OK with it if you both have all the facts!

This is the perfect place to ask questions and get your info!! The ladies here are tremendous!!

Good Luck and a very warm WELCOME!!

Eva37 · 07-13-2006, 03:14 PM

welcome to sc
eva

canadianmutation · 07-13-2006, 03:18 PM

Honesty is the best policy- Buy a book, show him articles.

I also have a wonderful guy who doesn't do so well with the unknown. (I am even worse at not knowing- I like having a plan and I hate to deviate)
Talk to him about things and let him decide whether or not he is willing to face the issues of PCOS with you. Just ending the relationship because you got handed a deviation to your life plans is never a good idea. Your BF might just suprise you and meet this challenge head on. Good luck hun.

senoritacristina · 07-14-2006, 03:36 AM

Thank you, ladies!

Wonderful of you to share your own stories. I agree that honesty is the best policy. I'm feeling better already. And he doesn't seem to be running like hell, so that's a good sign.

k8p · 07-14-2006, 11:14 PM

Welcome and do not be discouraged, I've read a lot of successful pregnancies on this site. There is hope!