After 6months of thinking PCOS might be a possibility due to the terrible condition of my acne, I was finally diagnosed last month. Doctor couldnt refer me until proved periods were absent and I had been on birthcontrol since my early teenage years, the second I come off this... I had one month with a period then nothing for 3months.
In 6months I gained 2stone. This despite healthy eating, more exercise generally (taking up walking to station instead of the bus (20mins each way daily) and joining a gym and following my work out plans religiously...
Then there was my skin... the best way to describe it is scarred, red, painful, inflammed and so disgusting its beyong belief... maybe its just me, people tell me its not that bad. Except my mum, she just hugs me, she knows how much my skin and weight gain is effecting me.
Once diagnosed I was put on Metformin, Dianette for my periods and skin and Differin Cream
The Differin is not having much effect on my skin 5weeks in but read online this can take up to 12weeks, in mean time following advice of a friend who is a beauty therapist I am having regular facials and using products with gycolic acid in.
The dianette is causing breakthrough bleeding between periods but I am hoping this settles down.
I have have suffered, as many do, with an upset stomach with the metformin - not so much sickness n poopiness.... but more just general pains though I have had the REAL upset stomach too. But generally, feel zapped of all energy and just very rundown most of the time.
However, I am inclinded not to moan about the metformin as I have lost half a stone in a month and find that it has supressed my appetite, I do not eat the same portion sizes as before, they have redueced dramatically... and I find myself less hungry alot of the time.
Now the worst thing, has to be the depression. Its not directly related to my PCOS, having PCOS in itself doesnt make me depressed. I can get out of bed in the morning... but my skin really upsets me... really. I cant look at myself in the mirror, it makes me want to cry. My weight upsets me, this is slowly getting better but I still can't fit into most of my wardrobe.
I'm 22 years old and so depressed all I want to do is stay indoors. I try to hide it but I think my parents know. At the very least they no I don't go out much, but the other sad truth is, I don't have many friends to confide in or hang out with either. Before anyone says, I am sure you do.... my birthday was last week and despite my "300 friends" on facebook 5people wished me happy birthday. 3 are people I consider friends... bt 2 of them have emigrate to Dubai.... 2 are in this country but not around much - live far away and 1 was my boss,thats it.
I tonight... honestly felt like just giving up.... I honestly believe no one would care if I died tonight.... except my family, I know they worry about me endlessly... I try and make them believe that I am staying in to do my open university studies, but truth is I only took this course up to give myself something to distract me from my own self loathing... I worry, if I am not good at this... then it will drive me over the edge.
I shouldn't feel like this, and it has been so much worse since starting all these medications and I don't know if it because of them that I feel this way...
I just feel very alone and very very sad.
Just want to know if I am the only one who feels like this... cos im scared right now cos my parents are going away for a week, I have no one around to keep me company and I am starting to feel like... no one would care or even notice
I don't have any answers for you but I wanted to say that I know how you feel - it's no fun feeling so alone. I too had a b'day recently and only a few people wished me a Happy Birthday but friendships are all about what you put into them and because I've been depressed, I've withdrawn myself from my old social circles - who is going to wish me a happy b'day when I've been feeling too sorry for myself to notice theirs?? Your friends DO care about you but if you rarely go out and/or keep in contact, they have no way of knowing how you're feeling - they probably think that YOU don't care about them...!
Your parents love you, you have people who care about you and you've already noticed a difference with the Metformin - don't give up! I don't have experience with skin problems (unless you count the beard!) but it sounds like early days with the medication and I do know that these things take time. This board is always here when you need to chat and vent - stories here tell you that you are not alone, at all!
I know your post is a couple of weeks old, but I just wanted to offer a few words of encouragement, just in case you're still struggling. I so understand how you're feeling, because I've been there, too. I, too, struggle with the acne and I'm over 40 (!) so I should be well past the pimply skin phase at this point in my life. It's frustrating to see my skin continously break out despite using the best acne skin remedies I can afford, so I can definitely relate to your experiences with Differin. I guess the only good thing about having acne is that because my skin is so oily, I haven't developed any wrinkles yet so I look younger than my years.
Also, like you, I've gained 25 lbs within the past two years despite eating healthy and exercising regularly. I, too, can no longer fit in the wardrobe that I've been wearing for years. I've always prided myself on taking good care of myself and being healthy, so being diagnosed with PCOS was at first shocking and very distressing to me. However, now I am glad for the diagnosis, because I now finally know what the problem is and that these symptoms are NOT my fault.
That's what you have to keep telling yourself, too, that you are NOT at fault for having PCOS and that you're now doing all you can to remedy the problem. If you were just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, that's one thing. However, from the sounds of your email, it seems that you are already doing a LOT to help yourself become more healthy. So, you should pat yourself on the back for caring enough about yourself to take care of your health.
As for friends, I think there are a lot of us here who feel isolated and alone, when actually we've become more withdrawn -understandably-because of our illness. Having PCOS can definitely impact one's social life and lead one to feel less inclined to want to be around people when we feel and (think we) look so awful. In your case, just keep going to your university class and make an attempt every day to connect with someone in your class. You'll be surprised at how many people will respond favorably to a smile or a kind word, and even how many will be able to relate to you more than you think.
Danni, it sounds like you're doing everything right, so keep taking the metformin, stay on your diet, and definitely keep exercising (the endorphins you feel will help pick up your mood). On those days when you feel like giving up, remember that your mum and your family still loves you despite your so-called imperfections. I've had those days, too, so what helps me during those times is to list in my head (or on paper) all the things that I'm grateful for in my life, no matter how blue I'm feeling.
Hang in there, girl, it DOES get better....trust me on that! Hugs to you!
You are not alone i to sometimes feel this way but you must not let pcos win you must continue to fight and fight hard you are way to young to give up hope the medications should help with the weight gain i know it is very hard and today is not a good day for me try to keep your head up it gets better with time
I've been on Zoloft on and off for the past 5 years.....it's all coming together now....just thinking back to how i was always "bigger" than my friends and my acne and periods were always worse than my friends.....it's like all thepuzzle pieces coming together.
Just Diagnosed and Struggling 
Hang in there...you're not alone... 
