just feeling sad

Reese77 · 03-03-2003, 09:09 PM

Hi everyone..

I'm feeling so sad today. I want to have a baby so much...I want to give my step son a sibling before he is too old to care (he's 10 now). But DH and i agreed that we wouldn't start TTC until I've lost most of my weight. That is taking forever...I know that I need to lose it, but I'm struggling all the same. I hate PCOS. I hate that my body can't handle that many carbs. I hate that I'm not normal.

CTCyster · 03-03-2003, 09:20 PM

Reese,

I just wanted to respond to you because I feel like I can empathize, although in a slightly different way.

DH and I have no kids- we are 28 and 29 (He's going on 30 in June). After many, many years of waiting until we could afford it (we still can't

but figure we don't know how much time we have) we finally decided to get the ball rolling with ttc, only to have my most recent bloodowrk come back showing that my IR is not being treated as effectively as it once was. My RE strongly recommended waiting a considerable amount of time while he upped my met dosage and I focus on losing more weight (9lbs so far

). We'll see where we stand with the whole ttc issue in a few months when I go for my next round of routine bloodwork.

My problem is that I want a baby- I want to ttc- but I can't- just like you. It can be so frustrating not having control over when the process can even begin. And yes- I agree that it is totally depressing. Since I have never ttc before, I don't even have any idea about the state of my fertility- and now it seems I'll be waiting even longer to find out.

I don't have much of a solution on how to make you feel better- I am still working on it myself. I just wanted to let you know I understand and am sending lots of (((HUGS))) your way and prayers (for both of us!) that we'll be able to overcome our frustrations.

xo

*Aimee*

CysterSteph · 03-03-2003, 09:47 PM

I'm feeling the same way you are. I feel like I have wasted so much time. I have been suggesting PCOS as a possibility to the two different OB's and 2 REs for over 5 yrs. I conceived on the 1st month of Clomid for my daughter Eliza. We used Clomid in various doses for 7 months and did one month of injections when we were living in Michigan. We took a break from the infertility scene and have just recently moved to Florida. I had my first appointment with an RE here and within 2 weeks of that appt., he is able to diagnose what others couldn't in 5 yrs. The only thing is that he has now placed me on the Atkin's diet. He wont treat my infertility until I have lost 25 pounds (I'm currently 5'5" and 173). I've never felt more depressed. It is bad enough to not be able to get pregnant, but to have this (what seems to be an unsurmountable goal) before I can even be treated is making me crazy. At least, before I was diagnosed, the RE in Michigan was just treating me to get pregnant. Oh, did I happen to mention that this stupid Atkins diet is getting the best of me. For several days in a row, I feel dizzy and I start crying around 5:00 p.m. I would KILL anyone for even a crumb of carb. Even though it is not part of the induction DH brought me home a Michelob Ultra to try to make me feel better. Is having another baby worth this misery???
-hungry, angry and sad CysterSteph

santa'sbaby · 03-03-2003, 11:55 PM

I wish I had words of wisdom as someone who faces the same issues...........but I don't.

My DF is 48 and I am 32, we will be TTC after our wedding in August. I am scared of the results and know that we have a long winding road ahead of us.

I choose to believe in the power of faith and prayer. You are all included in mine.

God Bless.
April

Reese77 · 03-04-2003, 01:00 AM

Thanks girls...it helps to know that there are others out there that feel the same way that I do.