Squeekers

Sometimes i get just depressed. I look around me and see all these families with kids. I start thinking... why not me? Why am I the one that wants them and cant have them. Why am i being "punished". Its hard to talk to my husband about this.. caz he doesnt know what to say. Or he gets into a definsive mode. "I am sorry, its not my fault"... i know its not his.. i know its mine. Why does everything have to cost so much to try to have a kid... what if i do get preggo and cant carry the child. Can i afford adoption... do i want to hear in the future if i do adopt.."your not my real mom"

Why are kids having kids.. and me... nothing. Why are some people on their 6th kid and cant afford anymore..but will keep it.

I just wish there was someone close to me that i could talk to that knows about going through this. Its ok to do it online.. but it would be nice to see that persons face and know that their emotion level is the same as yours.

All i can do is pray and hope. I am sooooooooooooooooooooo sick of people telling me Just pray more about it. OR "stop thinking about it and it will happen"

I want someone to understand me, to comfort me, to know what i am going through. I have a friend with PCOS but she is not married and is not trying for kids yet... so she dont understand the frustrations. The depression.

R0xyg4l

Squeekers, I so know how you feel. I hear about people getting pregnant all the time and not even wanting more kids. I always think of myself and my cysters and think how its just quite frankly kinda not fair. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that whatever is meant to be will be. I know it seems too cliche but it's the only thing that keeps me from feeling down. Tonight it was indirectly told to me that the more I think and worry about having a baby the less it will happen. I don't believe that in the least. Sometimes i wish other people could know what it's like. They certainly wouldn't make the comments we constantly hear.

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Kristina (27), Dustin (28) & Ani Rose (6)The Johnson Fam est 10/26/02Two angel babies:16wks 10/08 & 9wks 03/09
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