Just trying to place blame..

Chula · 11-06-2009, 01:45 PM

Not a negative blame just want to know WHY???????

Ok the only thing I can think of is I didn't start taking the prenatal vitamin BEFORE it was after I found out I was pregnant that one thing I can think of.... I will continue to take it. Also the OB suggested I take more folic acid if I plan to TTC again, I thought there was enough in the prenatal but he said I need extra due to my age to help in birth defects ( I am 39), so that I have changed.

After I found out I was pregannt and the roller coaster I was put on I stopped taking my metformin which I credit me O'ing on my own how I could forget is beyond me so I am back to taking it, but do you think that stopping it maybe caused the miscarriage along with not being on a prenatal PRIOR to the TTC???

Also the 2 week events leading up to this M/C in my mind plays a HUGE part in why my lil one just did not want to stick around!

Hospitalized- Gall bladder issues, lots of antibiotics given, was not able to use the progestrone (I was in my 2 WW waiting at the time)
Thursday was told my beta was negative so I scheduled the surgery to get this gall bladder out!
Following Thursday-Went into surgery preped and all..antibiotics given, blood thinner shot given..then told the surgery was cancelled due to being PREGNANT SHOCKER right immeadiately went into stress mode becasue I knew I had stopped using the progestrone several days before and know it's VERY IMPORTANT for ME to have.
Numbers doubled like they were suppose to and was told to go to 3 times a day on the progestrone and I did, it was not enough
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My HCG dropped ALOT and was told I will lose the baby!

SO all of this happenings could it just been due to all the stress and not my age or anything else?!?!? I know there is no correct answer but what do you ladies think?!?!?!

FallenAngels2 · 11-06-2009, 02:14 PM

Were right we don't know what really happend.But when I lost my second one. I had no prenantal no metformin. I truly believe thats why I mcd.Some people just need have more meds than others to help their pg alone.I'm really sorry that you lost this baby. Maybe you can have the surgery and then start fresh. I wish you the best

sabrinacrystal · 11-06-2009, 02:22 PM

I truly wish I could give you the answers you're looking for. I know for me, somehow it would make my mulitiple m/c it easier if only we could know why. All I can say is it's not your fault, you did the best you could do for your situation. Big hugs.

Dee67 · 11-06-2009, 02:29 PM

When I had my first m/c in 1992, I placed blame and anger all over the place and it honestly took about 3 years to work through my anger issues from losing our baby... I asked why so often and allowed the pain of my m/c to overtake my every breath and I led a miserable time for a long time.
I didn't have answers, nor would I ever get the answers.
But I eventually asked for help and God allowed that to happen.

M/C's are so emotional and when the physical aspect happens, it's just devastating and I'm so sorry that you are going through this again, Chula *hugs* I wish I could answer your questions and help blame someone...something....anything. Just know that I'm going to pray that God reach down and place his hand over your heart and give you the strength you need for the healing process, no matter how long it takes you.
If you need a friend, I'm here to listen....

I'm really sorry.
~Dee~

docedeleite · 11-06-2009, 02:34 PM

Chula, I am so sorry for your loss and for the rollercoaster you had to go through
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I do think it is a good idea to be taking Prenatals and Metformin while TTC/before conception. And the antibiotics they had you take during the 2ww were probably (but not necessarily - it depends on the antibiotics too, there are some that are safe to take during pregnancy) not ideal.
That said though, I think that most likely it was not any of these things or the stress or anything that you did that led to the m/c. I think it is very likely it was a genetic problem that you could not have possibly done anything about. Please, please don't beat yourself up about anything that you did - it was not your fault!

Talk to your doc about everything that you can do to minimize the risk of m/c next time. Unfortunately, even if you do everything by the book, there are some things beyond our control. But I am sure things will go well for you next time and you will have a beautiful, sticky bean
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~Traci~ · 11-06-2009, 02:36 PM

Chula you're going to tear yourself apart w/ trying to figure out what went wrong. The best suggestion since you've had 2 confirmed m/c's is to get RPL testing (Reproductive Loss testing). That may give you the answers your searching for (it doesn't in every case, at least not mine). Most RE's suggest RPL testing after 2 losses & insurance usually covers for it (it's usually considered a complication of pg'cy).

I'm so sorry
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jessietex · 11-06-2009, 02:41 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss Chula, what a tough ride you've been on lately. IA w/ pp, I think it's a genetic problem that you have absolutely no control over, so don't be hard on yourself. Kerp your chin up, GL going forward.

Chula · 11-06-2009, 02:42 PM

Ok ladies I am not beating myself up don't think that it proly sounded like that huh? No I was just looking for something I may or could have done different and do different this time around. Like stay on the met for one, and continue the prenatal for the second, and add some more folic acid is what the OB said as well, although I know there is not definate answer I was jsut trying to pick yoru brains maybe you might know something I didn't I HAVE LEARNED ALOT from this board!!!

So this is what I know:
1. The day after O I will start using the progestrone not the normal 3 days.
2. Continue to take the prenatals something I didn't do the last 2 cycles.
3. Add folic acid to the mix
4. Stay on Met
5. AND TAKE IT EASY! LOL!!!!

Thanks everyone!

Chula · 11-06-2009, 02:44 PM

Traci I will suggest the RL to the RE on wednesday next week when I go to see her. But I truely think the interuption of the usage of progestrone caused this the more I think about it. But as we all agreed we will never know!!!

RunnerDuck · 11-06-2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by docedeleite
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That said though, I think that most likely it was not any of these things or the stress or anything that you did that led to the m/c. I think it is very likely it was a genetic problem that you could not have possibly done anything about. Please, please don't beat yourself up about anything that you did - it was not your fault!

That.

Time is a b!tch. The older we get the more than goes screwy with our eggs. The birth defects or problems you are at risk for due to age cannot be helped, as far as I know, by taking more folic acid. All the folic acid in the world isn't going to straighten out crappy DNA.

Do all you can to have a healthier pregnancy next time - but don't beat yourself up over this time.

evilbee · 11-06-2009, 02:45 PM

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Chula. Don't blame yourself. That early, it was probably a chromosomal anomaly. That's what most losses are about in the first few weeks. Not taking a prenatal wouldn't have anything to do with miscarriage. That just gets you the folic acid to prevent neural defects, and you want to be sure there's enough in your system ahead of time... but it won't cause you to miscarry.

I hope you find peace, but let your rage out as much as you need to in the meantime! Just not on yourself!!!

harleymaggiemae · 11-06-2009, 02:58 PM

Chula - Sending you big hugs. I've been following your story and was so happy to see your bfp.

I agree with Doce and Traci. You've technically had 2 m/c so I'd ask for RPL testing - they can test your antibodies, thyroid, clotting disorders, etc. My first pregnancy was pre PCOS dx and when I m/c I was just told it was nature taking it's course. My 2nd m/c was under my RE's care and he told me signs pointed to this one being genetic as well. I struggled with accepting that as an answer for a long time - 2 rounds of bad luck in a row, was more than I could bear.

I'm not on Met, but it seems many women are staying on it through the first tri. Definitely stay on the prenatals all the time, progesterone, adding extra folic acid is smart, and you might also add baby aspiring (1x daily). It can act as somewhat of a blood thinner should you have a clotting disorder. Even if you don't, there's no harm in taking it.

But this was most likely nature taking it's course. I truly hope you get your sticky bfp really soon - you so deserve it!

KaraATL · 11-06-2009, 11:32 PM

i would check with your dr about the progesterone..it can interfer with implantation at first i think..that is why you should wait 3 dpo.

poohvet · 11-06-2009, 11:55 PM

Chula,
I think that it is wonderful that you are trying to think logically about things that you can do differently in a situation where so much is out of your hands. I agree that adding folic acid is a good idea. There is new research out which shows women who are deficient in folic acid are more likely to have early pregnancy loss. I don't think that the lap band can lead to vitamin deficiency the way GBP sometimes can, but it can't hurt to have the supplement. There is also research out which shows decreased miscarriages in women with PCOS who take metformin at least during their first trimester. These things may or may not have played a factor in what happened, but since they are things you can control, why not? especially if your doctor says it's okay. I am sorry that you are going through all of this and I admire you for wanting to be sure that you are doing everything you can to be a good mom
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Keep us posted on what you learn from your RE and RPL.
Take care.

Samie · 11-07-2009, 12:37 AM

Chula,
I'm am still so sorry over your loss. And I agree w/ ppl, definitely ask for the testing, especially before you invest in something like IVF, which I know at one time you were considering.
I think that your body has gone through sooo much in the last two months, and when you put it in perspective...well, its pretty AMAZING that you got a BFP, especially dealing with all the gall bladder issues, and having the last m/c. I absolutely do not say this to make light of your loss, but to remind you that "you" are not broken and are more than capable in getting pregnant, and sometimes, that's half the battle. None of us are broken, it just takes us longer.
I think there were many factors that contributed to you m/c. But I don't think anything you did or didn't do were to blame either.
I think the progesterone was a big factor, I also wonder if the blood thinner shot they gave you didn't possibly contribute as well. While yes, some women have to get them, they are still very very powerful meds, and can interfere with many different bodily functions. They really aren't that safe, needed, yes, but "safe"...
But as you said in your last post, now you know. That's a big thing in itself, you are learning and taking what you've learned through this experience, and that's an amazing thing.
Heal yourself, inside and out, and remember that you are loved and cherished both here and in your everyday life.

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