Less than 6 months ago I got married, so this should be the happiest time of my life. I just feel like my health is on a downward spiral and my emotions and mental strength are going with it. People tell me all the time how lucky I am to have this and have that, and I am grateful for my family, husband, and friends. I am in no way shunning them. I guess it's just hard to describe to an otherwise healthy person how hard it is to come by a day when I look and feel GOOD. Alot of the time I sit in my home office and seclude myself. I avoid my husband's friends parties and get togethers because I feel so out of place, or don't feel well enough to go at all. And they don't comprehend, all they see is that he has a wife who "doesn't like them" or "just needs to get up and get a life". I wish I could stop being depressed and bitter at times. I would trade my illness any day of the week for someone's crappy job or someone else's normal day to day worries because I really do think if I had my health I could handle anything. If you can't ever feel good, than each day is that much harder to get through. So, yes I have been labeled the anti-social, and at times the "drama queen" but I can't help but wish these people would just try to understand that I can only be so optimistic when 99% of my days are bad ones. When I see myself pulling away from people and spending a whole day watching movies to try to escape reality I want to just get up and go for a jog or go meet new people, anything but what I am doing, but I just can't. And it sucks.
Sorry for the rant, I guess I just had to put it somewhere at least where I feel I won't be judged for feeling the way I do.
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Hello AngelaCM! I'm very new to this board but I just want you to know that I completely understand what you are talking about and I really know exactly what you are talking about! I am not married yet but i will be in 6 months and I feel very lucky to have him but I just can't go out and do things with him, like parties, because I just don't feel good. I'm currently still going through testing also. If you ever wanna talk leave me a message.
Update: Went to see Dr.Sherif today and my prayers have been answered. She sat with me for over an hour and a half and went over each and every lab, symptom, history, even family history. She did not seem condescending in any way, as many of the docs I have seen were. She said my labs while most were in "normal" range according to scale, were NOT in fact normal. She found many things that the endocrinologist never even found. She determined that without a doubt I have PCOS. She also determined that I have something called Raynaud's (a condition of autoimmune origin that affects the mainly the hands and feet). In order to be thorough, she asked me to take one more series of blood tests in order to rule out Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (which if I do have is treatable as well, but she is 99% sure I do have PCOS). I agreed and they took the blood there. However, I think due to the lack of sleep and eating I experienced quite possibly the scare of my life. I normally feel faint when getting blood drawn. Sometimes I faint. This time I felt the dizziness, then my arm went numb, then I felt like I was going to pass out. I ended up going into seizure. I have to admit, it was the worst experience of my life. I still feel a headache, nausea, and very weak from it. Plus I bit the side of my tongue. Dr. Sherif came to me when they saw the seizure. She dropped everything she was doing to come and sit with me while I recovered. I LOVE this doctor. She is a godsend. Though I had a horrible scare, today was a step in making the rest of my life a better one. Thank you all for hearing me out through all my anxiety driven posts, my rants, my endless questions, and my depressing posts. I am going to look more positively on this now, because my doctor assured me we could make things better. I can't thank you all enough, especially the ones who recommended this amazing doc.
I'm cross posting this on the other threads where people offered me help and support when I was in need, just to thank them all and let everyone know the update. I finally have a diagnosis and treatment is on the way. I just have to stick it out 2 more weeks to make sure the hyperplasia is ruled out. I will most likely be given Metformin, not postive yet. She did give me the go ahead to start my Yasmin as it contains no androgens. That's about all I have for now, in 2 weeks I will know more.
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Just venting... 
