Has anyone ever felt like if your life ended right now, it would be a relief to you? I don't have the guts to do it myself because then my DH would get no help with life insurance. We are going through major financial problems at home again and I just feel like such a failure again! My DH had to call my mom and tell her that I would not be able to talk to her for a while because I just can't deal with her, her questions and her making me feel even more worthless. Why does my life have to be so hard? I know I am blessed to have a great DH and 2 DD. I am just so tired of always struggling.
__________________ Diagnoised: 1/1992
2 girls from Clomid
Current Med: Metformin 2000 mg, Tricor (cholesterol), Effexor (depression), Lisinopril (hpb)
PCOS, Fatty Liver Disease, High Blood Pressure, High Cholestrol, Excessive Hair Growth (not on face!), plantar facitis
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Yes I often think this .... my PCOS symptoms are the reason for my depression I have male pattern balding and also have bad facial and body hair I cant go anywhere without tweezers and I am researching wigs ... at 31 I feel like I could die and say well I enjoyed the parts before but the symptoms are getting worse adn I just dont want to deal with it much more .....
Life sucks I cant stand it ... your not alone in your feeligs .. I wont do anything because I couldnt let my family suffer but the thought of "I wish I was dead" ring around my head pretty much constantly
__________________ Metformin To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I understand how you feel, but honey, you need to get some help. I know you say you won't do anything, but if the pain gets worse, you may not be able to keep that promise. I see in your siggy that you are on Effexor. Maybe you need a different med or a different dosage to effectively treat your depression. Please talk to your doctor, sweetie.
__________________ Sandy-29. Single and actually liking it at the moment.
Mommy to a 70 pound lap dog, my big boxer baby Tyson and a 15 year old blind shih tzu.
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2003.
Medications include Lamictal 100 mg, Lexapro 20 mg, and Trazadone 150 mg for Bipolar Disorder. Starting Femcon Sept '08. Gotta get this big ugly PCOS monster back under control!
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It's so natural to want a break from life struggles I know I am guilty of that on a regular basis.
However I hope you both realize that death is not the answer, clearly there are struggles that you are going through and it's causing you grief and pain. On the other hand you are valued and loved by people in your life. Your absences will greatly impact others and there is so much joy to be experienced. Your life is not going to be bad forever and we are always here to listen when you need a shoulder. You will get past this and if you don't feel you can I want you to get help ASAP.
Please let me know how you are doing.
__________________ Me 35, DH 52. DSS 22, DD 15
150mg of Effexor
Hysterectomy on Jan 17, 2006
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Mod for Depression and Diet and Exercise Buddies.
Check out my new message board for Traditional Christian Women
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I totally understand how you feel. So many times lately I keep thinking that if my life were to end now that it would be no big loss to anyone. But you have to hang in there. You have a husband and a family who would be destroyed if you ever hurt yourself. Your family needs you. I know it's not easy sometimes and it gets frustrating when it seems like nothing ever comes easy to you but remember that you are loved and needed.
I understand the "not wanting to talk to your mother" thing also. I too have people in my family who always say the wrong thing even when they are trying to help. They always sound like they are judging you or make you feel like you can't do anything right. I think it's a good idea to stay away from those people for a while if you feel that down about life because when you get that way the smallest thing can set you off. I agree with previous posters about seeing your doctor and getting on some new meds. Maybe it will help.
Honey, I feel like this a lot! I get it in my head that I just can't so it anymore and maybe everyone would be better off without me. A few weeks ago I was about ready to do it and made DH take away all my pills....then I came here for some support.
I know you said you won't do it but that also worries me because I always said I wouldn't either and there I was ready to. I agree that you should see your doctor and discuss your meds.
I also know where you are coming from on the money side. DH took a new job last year where they promised he would make what he was making at the old job. But they aren't giving him the overtime in order to make that much. So we are struggling seriously. We live with my in-laws....we own a split-level house where we live upstairs and they live downstairs. There have been months where we couldn't afford our half of the mortgage and she would ask me and ask me and ask me until finally I avoided her at all costs because I felt just awful. So, I really do know where you are coming from.
If you ever need someone to talk to, please PM me. We are always here for you!
Heather
__________________ Heather 28
DH: Mike 30
DD: Hailey Susan
DX January 2002 through lap
Furbaby: Toby, my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
+HPT 4/7/04
Hailey Susan born December 12, 2004
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+HPT 10/10/06
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[quote=Weeza]I totally understand how you feel. So many times lately I keep thinking that if my life were to end now that it would be no big loss to anyone. But you have to hang in there. You have a husband and a family who would be destroyed if you ever hurt yourself. Your family needs you. I know it's not easy sometimes and it gets frustrating when it seems like nothing ever comes easy to you but remember that you are loved and needed.
This is so true....
__________________ Stacie (29) Married to Paul (33) Aug. 2, 2003
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It's a BOY!!!!! (CONNOR JAMES) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I understand how you feel hon. (((((((hugs)))))) I too have felt too many a times to name, that my family would be better off if I wasn't around. I feel nobody would miss me, and that they would forget me and be happy forever. I feel worthless, and insignificant. But it passes. And I look at my DH and children and I realize how lucky I am. I know financial problems are a pain, DH and I are going through a tough time now also, and we have been not so nice to be around. PCOS makes you feel crappy on top of that. I wish I had some answers, and that I could send some happiness your way. Please don't say that dying would be a relief. Your DH and DD's need you. Please speak to your doctor. You are worth it, and your life is worth living!!!!!!
__________________ DX April 17, 2002
"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively.
"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."
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Girl, I have been there. I work at a very stressful job where I am reminded constantly that I can be replaced, my son is suicidal, and when he gets better from his depression, he treats me like crap (we've been dealing with his issues for years). Thank God I have never lost sight of those who love me. My husband loves me so much, and I see on a daily basis that I am more loved than I realize sometimes. My dogs have panic attacks if they can't be with me, and my fish all run to the front of their tanks whenever I walk by. I am no longer in the financial bind I was when I was first married, but I'm not that far from being there again. Just do what you can each day, and reward yourself when you can. Find some things you do that cause you stress that are not necessary, and quit doing them for awhile. You are definately worth a lot in this world, and there are no problems that can't be fixed. Pm me if you need to vent!
Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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Please see your doctor and get some help. We have all been at that stage where we feel there just is no point in going on, but trust me, if you just hang on the the thought of those who love you, it will pass. If anything were to happen to you, their pain would never end.
I am so glad that you are talking to us about it because I believe we can give you good advice since a great many of us have been there. Please, please, please see your doctor and tell him/her what is going on. When you have these thoughts they can quickly turn to actions, even when you say you wouldn't do anything--right now. Depression can sneak up on you faster than you realize.
I'm thinking of you. *HUGE HUGS*
__________________
"Life is full of blessings, not all are seen."
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((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) I hope you are feeling better and I agree that you should get some help. The one thing I learned from my mom's depression and from mine is that keeping it to yourself and saying you will never do something doesnt always work when the pain gets worse. Please PM me if you need to talk or vent!
__________________ Me 26 DH 48
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Just want to end it all 
