I just very recently lost my beloved baby boy. On April 20th Ethan Kenneth was born too soon at 19 weeks 6 days. Although he was perfectly formed he was just too little. My heart is shattered. An earlier u/s showed that my cervix was thinned to 19 cm and opened to 1.9. I was put on bed rest but 5 days later I started hurting. A subsequent u/s showed that my cervix was continuing to thin but not opened any further. I was scheduled for a cerclage but right in the middle of it my water broke. The peri was devastated. He cried with me as it was a complete mystery why it had happened. Currently a low grade infection of some sort is suspected in some capacity. I don't have any answers.
__________________ ME: 30
DH: 26
Angel Baby - Miscarriage @ 6 weeks
Angel Baby - Ethan Kenneth -4/20/04- M/C @ 19w 6d due to virus and blood clots
DX: PCOS 1999
Ian Nicolaas June 28th, 2005 2:39 AM 7 lbs 14 ozs
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Luke Johannis July 18th, 2006 1:24 PM 6 lbs 15.9 ozs
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Jill
I replied to your message on the PG board but I want to let you know that I know EXACTLY how you feel right now. My water began slowly leaking and I went to my Doc. He did an exam and found that I was 1cm dialated and he could actually feel her foot. I knew that it wasn't a good thing right then. He admitted me to the hospital that day and I went into full fledged labor at 1am that night. At 5:56 am I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Alivia Christine Mathers. I was 22 1/2 weeks along. She was the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen...perfect in every way. She had long fingers and big feet!! She was with us for 1 1/2 hours and I cherished every minute. It isn't fair and It has been hard. I had her on August 19,2003. I am finally at a point now where I feel some peace. I know that she is in a wonderful place....but still I long for her to be here. If you ever want to talk please e-mail me. I have a wonderful frind that I talk to everyday who lost a baby boy the same time I lost Livvie. It helps to talk to someone who truley knows what your going through and how you feel. Take care sweetie.....I'll say prayers for you.
Kelly
__________________ Bill To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Kelly 10/02/1993
Andrew 4/21/2000 26 weeks
Alivia 8/19/2003 22 weeks missing you baby girl
Connor 1/13/2005 31 weeks
Noah 11/05/2007 37 weeks
Joseph 3/18/2009 32 weeks
I posted on your other thread but I wanted to say again that I am so sorry for your loss. I have found a lot of support on this forum and I'm sure you will too. Lean on us whenever you need support during this very emotional time.
((((more big hugs))))
__________________
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Jill, I am sooooo sorry this happened to you! I was looking through some old posts and noticed your sig. I just can't believe this happened! I was in tears when I saw that! Please know that you, your DH and your little boy are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself.
Both Mike's and my heart are breaking with you. Oh how devestating it is!!! Hon, I'm so sorry you're going thru this. Please know I'm hear for you.
Are you in Crossville now or just using that as your location? If you are in Crossville, then we'll get together soon, it's only about 30 minutes away.
Lots of love and hugs,
Tina (and Mike)
__________________
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I'm gonna stop looking back and starting moving on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, without any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah, I wanna be running
When the sand runs out
- Rascall Flatts "When the Sand Runs Out"
((((((Jill))))))
I am so sorry to hear your loss. It is just too heartbreaking for people like us who have been wanting a baby so much. I also lost my baby at 19 weeks. I didn't even qualified for a rescue cerclage because my membranes were bulging out and wouldn't go back despite several days of complete bedrest in Trendelenburg position in the hospital. There was even no signs of infection, and I've never had a definite answer for my incompetent cervix. It seems that I just have a congenitally short cervix which is too weak to hold a pregnancy.
Here I am pregnant again, now 15 weeks going on 16. This time I had a cerclage placed at 12 weeks. Although it has been almost a year since my miscarriage and I am pregnant again, my heart still aches whenever I think of it. Take your time to grieve, but please take good care of yourself too. If you need someone to talk, remember we are all here for you. (((((Big hugs))))).
Jill I am so sorry for your loss I pray you find the strength to get through this awful time. I have no idea how you are feeling right now so i feel that my words might sound a bit empty.
Best wishes to you and your family
Helz xx
__________________ Helen and Gareth - Proud new parents to Thomas Isaac! Born 25th September 2004 weighing 8lb2oz!
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I am sending you thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time. I have also suffered a second trimester loss and know the shock and numbness and anger. Please be very good to yourself and your DH. I wish I could say with confidence that time heals and it does give you some distance from this searing pain, but know that grief has its own timetable. I wish I could offer you more but there are no words to ease this loss. Hugs to you.
__________________ Kathy
Kallan and Melissa 1997
Darby 2000
Surprise! +++hpt 9/2/04
HCG 31,166 Progesterone 13.5
Bellybean due 4/20/05
12/1/04 It's a healthy baby girl!
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M/C 4/19/2004 9w1d
angel Casey 1995
PLease remember to supplement with folic acid acid if you are ttc. It saves babies' lives!
Just Want to Say Hello- New and Hurting 
I pray you find the strength to get through this awful time. I have no idea how you are feeling right now so i feel that my words might sound a bit empty.
