Keep it up, rainbowed cysters!!

rainbow85 · 09-19-2005, 07:23 PM

I am DETERMINED to have this board stay active. Come on my rainbowed cysters, let's talk!! Tell me a story, tell me about your girlfriend/partner (or boyfriend/husband if you are bi.) Tell me about your first crush. Tell me your coming out story. Tell me what you did this weekend! Anything! I love to hear from my family, my rainbow cysters!!

I'll start...my first crush was my first grade teacher!! She was so adorable and I absolutely loved her. After I moved on from the first grade we used to send each other notes in school, she'd give mine to my teacher and I'd put hers in the mailbox in the main office. It's funny, just last year I was looking through my old journal from first grade and I found all these love poems that I wrote to her!! I made her Valentine's and everything, put her name is hearts. I was a pathetic, love-struck little 7 year old!!

mmariee88 · 09-19-2005, 07:35 PM

I dont know what I would consider myself anymore. I grew up being attracted to women, I date a man now. My first crush was my 7th grade US History teacher. She took me on as a project, became my mentor. We were friends for years, I actually watched her child. My second crush was my bestfriend from 6th grade on. I recently tried to find her cuz I had so much to apologize to her for. I dated various women for a few years. I met my girlfriend Allie online and dated her for about 3 years. She was a horrible person and cheated on me with her ex boyfriend who she actually called her bestfriend. I then met the man of my dreams. We are together now. I will always find women beautiful. I love pregnant women, I think they are so beautiful. I just think you can find something beautiful about all women. I have a tattoo of two forms having relations on my lower back, colored in rainbow, they have boobs. I love the tattoo but now worry about being an old grandma with it. Ha Ha

Stefany · 09-19-2005, 08:25 PM

I love the idea of keeping this place alive

So let see...I would have to say my 1st crush was my 5th and 6th grade teacher. Small school and town that is why the same teacher. OMG she was so pretty ( now I can say HOT)
I would say she was in her late 20's my 6th grade year she got married and I was so heart broken. She used to take a few students out to lunch and tell them what a great job they are going and how much she would miss us when we go to Jr. high. When I got to jr. high I would go back and visit her and help with odd jobs after school. She ended up moving and leaving the school. I never knew where she ended up.

I've never have "come out" to my family. In my family we go with the don't ask don't tell. I am out to all my friends and they are always trying to set me up ( don't like that much). I posted a personal ad on one of them sites. Talked with a few gal via e-mail but that is about it.

My ex.. well I was her 1st "girl" relationship. She had issues with Rx drugs and I didn't know it until it became a HUGE problem and I told her get help or I am gone. Well you can guess the rest. I just hope she is getting the help she needs but I couldn't deal with it anymore when drugs are more imporant them me and the relationship.

I am just getting back into the going out and dating thing. I am moving the end of this month to my own place. No more roomates(it a family I live with) and they will not let me be me without some condishons(sp). Wish you all where closer to me so we could have a party when I get all moved in. Nothing like have a family party to start off a new place.

I do have a thing for a good friend but we have talked about it and we are not going to take it anywhere due to how much we love are friendship and don't want to lose it. She is one of the most awesome people I know and she tells me like it is and I need that in my life.
Well that sums it up. Thanks for bringing some life back to this thread.

BTW I had a good friend send me a link about ROBERTSON BLAMES HURRICANE ON CHOICE OF ELLEN DEGENERES TO HOST EMMYS. I would post it but I feel it would start to much of an issue. If you want me to send you the link just PM me

It got me and I think I am going to send someone a letter.

october_sky · 09-20-2005, 01:31 AM

Hi everyone, I've been a lurker here for awhile but the other day decided to register and start posting myself. Sort of a denial that I have PCOS, or something.

Well here's my story so far. I'm 23, going to college for the second time, live with my mom (long story) and for now consider myself bi. For some reason, males don't get my attention quite the same way females do. I still very much like men though, well certain ones anyway lol.

One of my best friends from high school is completely lesbian, and told me something. If you look at a girl and think "oh she has nice legs, I wish I had her body" that means you're straight and just admiring someone else. But if you think "I wish I was between her legs" that means you're attracted to her. Lol what an analogy. And if I'm out somewhere just people watching, about 9 times out of 10 it's a woman that catches my eye.

As yet I still have not actually had a relationship with a female. It seems that all the women at the gay bars are older and either already have a partner or not interested in someone my age. I'm attracted to females in my age range. But I can't find any!! So I go out with males, and they don't seem to hold my interest for very long. And the women my age that I hang out with at school seem to care only about make-up and hair and how to bag a husband, and say things like "eww, gross" when the topic of homosexuality comes up. Very frustrating

I live in a large city with alot of places for GLBT people to hang out (besides bars) but most of the people there are men. Which is nice because we can sit and talk about anything and everything without the overhead of getting into eachothers pants. But barely any women, and none that I'm attracted to.

Anyone else have this problem, or used to? What did you do to change it? Thank you sooooo much for any suggestions!

rainbow85 · 09-20-2005, 07:38 AM

You might want to try your school's gay straight alliance, if they have one. Also, there's websites like planetout.com or gay.com where you might be able to meet some people in your area. Otherwise just keep going to the bars or GLBT centers and I'm sure you'll meet someone, or you'll meet someone who knows someone... I always find that when I'm not trying to find someone, is when it happens. So, just relax, and go with the flow. Things will happen when they are supposed to.

Welcome to SC. I know how hard it can be to admit you have this problem. It gets me so upset sometime. I'm really happy you are here and posting, keep it up! I've become addicted to this site...I've found it really helps me deal with the PCOS and stay on top of my new healthy lifestyle changes.

Hetaera · 09-20-2005, 09:22 PM

hooray!!!
thanks Rainbow for taking a positve role in this forum!!!
lets see, my first girlfriend... I was 12, and her name was Ashley, *sigh*
I think for her, it was more just a healthy exploration... I dont know if she is actually bi, as we lost contact when I was about 14.
on my 13th birthday, we spent the night outside in a tent, and it rained.... I LOVE rain... it was a very very amazing night.
I hear she is pregnant now, due in december...maybe she is bi? I dont think I could ever have anything with her now... we're different people...
other than that I didnt have any other 'girlfriends' except for a brief relationship with an exroomate...

you know, being here and talking about this all so much makes me want it so much more!
usually, its an attraction, but not something I crave, but I suppose expressing my desire makes it more intense?

asrai · 09-22-2005, 06:15 AM

My first non-celeb crush was in 5th grade on my best friend. That crush stuck for the next few years. I didn't have an actual relationship with a woman until I was 19, when I fell head over heels for a girl a couple years younger. I had a couple flings besides, but no other relationships. I met Shawn while she and I were still dating, but things weren't working out very well between us, and then I read where she'd written someone that she wasn't in love with me anymore, and that was pretty much that until recently. She and I stopped talking for ages, Shawn and I ended up married, and eventually she ended up married as well. We started emailing a few years ago, and then she came up for a concert last spring, and well... we found those feelings were still there for each other, all these years later. So now we're persuing that, yet maintaining our marriages. It's pretty new, so we're still finding a balance.

As for how I came out, to my family, at least, was my mother snooping on my computer while I was home from college one weekend while my girlfriend and I were still dating and found out about our relationship. She confronted me about it while we were sniping at each other in a mall, and ended up just finally blurting it out in Bloomingdales since she wouldn't get off my back about it. She never really accepted it (threatened exorcism at one point), and I don't bring it up with her anymore.

Hetaera · 09-22-2005, 08:18 PM

hello Asri,
How sad that your mom found out from snooping...
ahh. threatening Exorcism!? that sounds a little like my mother who said I was a spiritual failure when she found out I wasnt christian...
I suppose its best to pick your battles, but I wish mothers like ours could be more accepting...
I think, (this might be different from you) that its probably easier for those of us, who are married because we can lead a seemingly "normal" life...
even though I held hands with my exgf in public, I was still a little uncomfortable because of the way others react... and you should have seen the looks we got when it was just her, the baby and I in a grocery store...

thanks for sharing your story!

rainbow85 · 09-23-2005, 01:56 AM

Yeah...you get some really interesting reactions. I've been dating my girlfriend for 17 months now and we go everywhere together and almost always hold hands or are affectionate. It's gotten to the point where I forget that this isn't considered "normal," so when someone stares or makes a comment it takes me a while to realize why. It's really really hard...I know my life could be a lot easier if I just found a man that I could love like I love her and that would make me happy, but I know that that is impossible. It's really upsetting :-(

asrai · 09-23-2005, 02:54 AM

I think I'm lucky where I live. Sometimes we get looks when we're being affectionate, but mostly not. Most of the looks come when all four of us are out and we'll walk by one time with me and her being affectionate and another with us holding hands with our husbands.

I'm to the point where I find it amusing more than aggravating, but occasionally when it's just her and I out and we're out late it can be a little scary.

I do think it's easier that our families can see our marriages and dismiss she & I as friends, but at the same time, I wish I could share the joy of my life more and be understood and accepted regardless, especially when it comes to my mother.

tiggerlily5278 · 09-23-2005, 11:33 AM

I used to get a thrill out of public displays of affection with another female for the shock value/looks from others, etc. Most men enjoy it, I think!

kimstagg · 09-25-2005, 12:22 AM

Wow, you are all so bold! My ex and I never showed any hint of attraction when we were out together. I'd walk closer with my best friend than I would with my g/f. Asrai - that's cool that you're comfortable in Dunedin - she's in Clearwater and I'm in Tampa. It's my first serious relationship and she's been through some pretty tough ones, so maybe that's why.

As far as mother's threatening exorcism, I'm pretty surprised mine didn't come up with that. She doesn't say much about my sexuality, and I can tell she cringes inwardly when it's the subject of conversation, but she deals. I only told my parents a few months ago (right before I moved back in with them!) so I'm trying to give them a while to adjust. I know they think I've given up on God and that I'm so not what they wanted. Hopefully they'll be able to see that I'm still the same me they've known forever.

Wow, that was deeper than I expected. Back to my ex - if we ever get back together (LONG story) maybe we'll be able to come out with our relationship and at least show minimal appreciation for each other in public.

rainbow85 · 09-25-2005, 02:15 AM

When me and my girlfriend are in states further south we are a lot more careful about showing affection in public. We don't even really hold hands much walking when we go south. We live in NJ and we're very affectionate when we go out around here, and we still get a lot of scary looks sometimes. I also had someone calling my cell phone with really nasty, scary messages for a while, I had to change my cell phone number to get rid of it. Now I think it was all from this guy I used to fool around with before I came out, which is really creepy!!

I'm happy people are posting in this thread. KEEP IT UP! I love hearing from the family!!!

Me and my girlfriend just had 17 months on Tuesday. She took me out for dinner and I paid for a movie. It was really, really sweet. I have been very, very strict on my diet and eating like nothing so I treated myself I little bit, still watching my carbs, and I ended up losing more weight than I have in a while!!

kimstagg · 09-26-2005, 01:12 AM

A horrible thing happened to me today. I realize it's not as bad as a lot that has happened to other people, but it was the first thing that ever happened to me. I was in a public bathroom washing my hands, and a young-ish looking woman walked in, saw me, and quickly walked out looking confused. Now, I realize I have a shaved head, but I also have a rather large chest... It was pretty obvious that she thought she might have walked into the mens room. After she checked the sign, she walked back in. Now, in essence, this isn't that bad. I get mistaken for a man quite often. However, when she walked back into the bathroom, she walked around me and stayed as far away as possible, as if i had the plague. It was the look that did it. Really, she was looking at me as if I was a leper. I was mortified. After that, I told my mother, who reacted in a way as if I brought this on myself. Ah! Needless to say, she's not quite used to my "outness" yet. Argh.

rainbow85 · 09-26-2005, 02:11 AM

Yeah...it'll take parents a while to get used to it. Just remember that she loves you and wants what's best for you...it'll just take her a little while to get used to this. If the way your mom is handling things is really upsetting you, talk to her about it. The one thing I regret is that I wasn't always open and honest with my mom while coming out and the period after, and it almost tore us apart. My mom is my best friend, and a year of not talking almost ruined us. Make sure you let her know how you feel!

I'm sorry about that miserable woman. It's her loss, really. If she is going to always judge people on appearances like that, she's really, really going to miss out on someone or something really special. You can never judge a book by it's cover!! But, of course, I know it's still going to hurt you and be upsetting. The best thing you can do is talk about it and not really let it bother you too much. Don't hold on to those things, let them out. It'll get easier, I promise!! I don't think you look like a man in your picture in your profile, I think you look really cute!!

P.S. IM me if you ever wanna talk!