Korean Weight Requirement (Rant!)

tariana · 03-03-2005, 10:33 AM

Grr.

Korea seems like a program that might fit us (other than the hellishly long marriage requirement and that seems a constant in all countries), and it's the country (of course) that DH is the most interested in adopting from.

Great.

One problem.

One big, fat problem.

I'm 65 pounds over their weight limits.

What is this crap, anyway? What in the hell does my weight have to do with my ability to parent? I've seen plenty of skinny people who are crappy parents and plenty of fat people who are great parents (my mom was one, so I feel like I should know).

I don't understand how they can get away with this discrimination against people who would in all likelihood be great parents. If I had to choose between giving a child loving parents, one of whom happened to be overweight, and letting the kid rot in an orphanage, I sure as hell know which I'd choose.

I'm already getting frustrated with this and I've only been researching it for a couple of days. It seems every time we find a program that might look right, there's some roadblock.

Sorry for the rant. I'm just frustrated. We went to Panera bread for supper last night and I swear, EVERY woman that came in was either pregnant or had a baby or young child with her, or both. And I want to be a mom SO BAD.

So, yeah. Sorry. Just wanted to get this off my chest and see what anyone else thought of this rule.

Lisa67 · 03-03-2005, 01:29 PM

I know that is such a frustrating thing to deal with. I know I NEVER would have been approved in Korea with my weight as it is now. Never.

My friend is going through Korea, though, using Wide Horizons and she was approved. She is quite overweight--I'm sure by quite a bit too. Someplace I read (I think on here somewhere) that there are 2 agencies that do not have that requirement--Wide Horizons and someone else. Hmmmm...I'll try to find that post for you and hope I'm not giving you false info.

(((((HUGS)))))

ETA:....Here is the post I referred to...it appears Holt does have the req't too... Does any other country besides Korea have a weight/height requirement?

ETA again...Now I'm really confused for you...Here's another post with some info..Korean Adoption

Lisa2008 · 03-03-2005, 05:45 PM

just kinda chuckling at the name "wide" Horizons.

tariana, the great thing about adoption, is it IS attainable to almost everyone. Yes the wait sucks, but you WILL be a mommy. Just think the little baby that is meant to be yours needs you to wait, cause he/she is not ready to come into the world just yet. Take the time to research, and read all the books you can. It will happen for you

~Traci~ · 03-03-2005, 05:50 PM

The weight restriction really aggrivated me as well but these countries can make any rules they want b/c they're adopting out their babies.... I would check in to the 2 agencies that there aren't any weight restrictions. We decided to go w/ China since there is no weight restriction & I'm almost 30 as it is (DH is already 30)... I know the time is tough, we've been TTC for almost 5 years so we've been waiting as it is...a little longer isn't going to be too bad. I know it seems like a long time but once you know what you're going to do & what country you're going to adopt from, it will go by quickly.

Good Luck!
Traci

~Lisa~ · 03-04-2005, 01:27 AM

You sound like me a couples of weeks ago. It especially doesn't make sense when peoples weight can go up and down from one year to the next! What a crazy thing....all these countries are different in their requirments tho. I can't stand it that I have to wait to be 30 to start this process. Oh well. The Lord will work it all out for me (sigh)

Kissyboo · 03-04-2005, 06:47 PM

Not that I agree with the weight requirments, but Im guessing the reason they have them is because they might be associating being over weight with health problems. They probably want to make sure that they are adopting out to healthy parents that will be able to care for the child. Thats just my guess. I dont agree with it and Im sorry that you're going through such trouble right now.

tariana · 03-04-2005, 08:09 PM

Well, I've decided to *try* to lose the weight. 80 pounds, give or take a few, which will not be easy, but I do have almost two years to do it in. If not, we'll have to go with another country. DH really really really wants Korea, so I don't know how upset he'll be if I can't lose the weight, but I guess we'll figure something out.

For now I'm trying to be positive.

JenJen78 · 03-05-2005, 09:31 PM

I have talked to one lady that adopted from Korea and was very overweight. She said that they were able to adopt a "special needs" child from there. Then she tells me that what they call special needs is a child that there is no medical background on.

Everyone is different, but to me, that is NOT special needs, and I would not turn a child down because I had no medical history. Really I've not heard of alot of internationally adopted children that did have alot of medical history.

So, I do know it is possible to be overweight and adopt from there.

Best of luck to you. The journey IS very hard, but when you have friends like the ladies here, it makes the journey a little easier.

tariana · 03-05-2005, 09:57 PM

Well, we keep looking at different programs, and they all seem to have some requirement we don't meet. Some of them we can get so we meet, some I don't think we can, but for now I'm just going to try to do the most research I can and try to figure out what might be best. Thanks for the kind words -- yes, having people to talk to that are going through the same thing is great!

Where is your son from, by the way? He's very cute!

JenJen78 · 03-09-2005, 11:11 PM

Thanks!

Zach's from Guatemala.

tariana · 03-09-2005, 11:51 PM

From what I've read, I like the way the Guatemala program operates. It seems like it might be the best fit for us, when and if *possibly back on thinking about TTC* we decide to adopt. I'll definitely be doing more research on all our options, and I may have questions later. If so, can I ask you?