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05-23-2005, 01:48 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Mommy to Miracle Twins
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Northern New Jersey
Posts: 1,584
My Mood:  Points: 10,649.75 Bank: 8,409,187.32 Total Points: 8,419,837.07 |  Lack of intimacy...affection....Any advice?
I don't know if I'm posting this in the right section...I'm not sure if this is a rant, or not....But, I do have a question to ask....off-topic. Anyway, I've been having issues with my dh recently....He never shows me affection anymore! (It seems like a lot of us woman have this problem, I've noticed recently!) It's not just affection, but he doesn't show me that he loves me. He just says it. You all know that saying, "Actions speak louder than words." A month ago, I mentioned to him that he never brings me flowers anymore. He said that he's sorry and that he will again...But he'll surprise me with them. Well, it's been a month! That's just the start of it though. He doesn't act interested in me sexually anymore like he used to be. No matter how hard I try to be intimate with him, it's always "I'm tired". Which is understandable because he works soooo many hours, about 80/week. Hhhhhh....He is such a great guy though. Really, he really takes care of me and is always there for me despite these issues. I just wish he would up the romantic factor a little bit. 
Does anybody have any advice?? Anybody in a similar situation here?? I appreciate any input!
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Kristen (Me) - 24, DH - 34
Mommy to my miracle twins, Evan & Leah, born at 28 weeks, 4 days
Leah - Fed via G-tube currently
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05-23-2005, 05:47 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Missing Rivelino forever
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,587
My Mood:  Points: 171,732.88 Bank: 15,325,572.45 Total Points: 15,497,305.33 | Sounds like a regular guy...
You didn't mention this, so don't flame me, gals!
"Really, he really takes care of me and is always there for me despite these issues. I just wish he would up the romantic factor a little bit."
It sounds like your husband's a great guy, but clueless when it comes to romance (most guys are). But you didn't mention whether YOU had done anything to up the romantic factor. Have you tried?
Here are a few ideas: a candlelit dinner waiting when he gets home, a picnic in the park this weekend (including a snuggly nap if he's tired), a little gift that you picked up "just because," or a love note (steamy if you want) stuck in his wallet where he's sure to find it.
Maybe he's feeling a little unappreciated, too. And you could always surprise HIM with flowers. When he realizes how happy that makes him, he'll probably reciprocate.
Just my thoughts - they may not be worth much.
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Miracle baby boy Rivelino born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten...always to be remembered...forever my source of inspiration.
Dominici
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05-25-2005, 02:49 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Reside in San Antonio, Hometown - Chattanooga, TN
Posts: 36
Points: 582.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 582.00 |
BUy some sexy but classy lingerie, find a great love song and that will bring back the intimacy.
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05-25-2005, 09:38 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Vince's Wife, Yuna's Mama
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,276
Points: 4,483.18 Bank: 1,613,329.80 Total Points: 1,617,812.98 |
Yep... maybe he's feeling a bit unappreciated too. And if he does, then maybe he figures that you don't need that stuff either.
It's worth a try at least. 
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Kati (29)
DH Vince (27)
Married 1-29-05
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Never TTC -- Straight to Adoption
DD Yuna
Born in the USA 10-01-06 -- Finalized 4-12-07
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Still hoping and praying to adopt #2 someday...
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05-25-2005, 11:59 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Beating the darkness
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Long Island, New York
Posts: 1,934
Points: 2,649.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 2,649.00 |
It might sound sappy but I love to put little mushy sticky notes on my husband's books or his lamp....so that when he sees them he knows I am thinking of him.
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05-25-2005, 12:04 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Determined
Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,006
My Mood:  Points: 9,864.71 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 9,864.71 |
My guy felt the same way when I first started going through all of this. I know I got very distant ect... Last week I brought back the sensitive caring guy- A note in the wallet in the AM, Picked him up with a rose in hand and had a nice dinner ALONE I wooed him for the night..He was totally impressed -- Hes back to him old awesome self
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Romance Enhancement Specialist
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Do you know anyone who lives in Canada, Australia, the UK who would want to be in on a ground floor opportunity? If so, please let me know who they are!
L (27) & J (30)
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11.11.06 we were married; 01.18.08 Evan Connor arrived
"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."
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05-25-2005, 03:54 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Proud momma of two!
Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,284
Points: 51,845.02 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 51,845.02 |
He works 80 hours a week??? wow! Okay, this is what you do then. I imagine he is REALLY tired when he gets home from work. Buy some massage oil, some nice scented stuff. Dim the lights, get some nice candles going, and greet him with the intent that you are going to give him a nice massage. Massage his feet, his legs, his arms, his shoulders, his neck, etc. Relax him. Perhaps you can give him little sweet kisses on his back or the back of his neck while you massage him. It will let him know that you are interested without being too pushy. You should be able to get him nice and aroused that way while still being thoughtful. Perhaps have some c hampagne or wine close by as well. Sometimes the women have to initiate things. And if he falls asleep while massaging him, don't take it personally. He was able to completely relax under the work of you rloving hands. I gave my fiance an hour body massage once, and he absolutely loved it. hope that helps.
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