I told my husband this morning that me and DS are moving out this weekend. It has been a long road, and I am just out of gas. He has bipolar disorder, and has not been very diligent in managing it. After 2 years of hoping he would start treating me better, I have given up. He had moments of being really wonderful, which made the day to day meanness harder to handle. I think he only ever went to therapy because I demanded it. I don't think he really cares if he gets better.
So despite antidepressants, I have cried for about 4 days straight. I know I have to hold it together for DS, but I have lost the love of my life and just want to crawl in my bed and not come out. And I just got my bloodwork back this week, fasting glucose is up, A1c is up. How do I even think about my health when my heart is broken?
__________________ Lucky mommy of Quinn, 6 years.
PCOS, IBS, Clinical Depression, Lyme Disease, allergies
trying to go natural, down to 1 script, 1 OTC(love u Zyrtec!) and lots of vitamins
Hey, there. I was in the same boat. DH has bi-polar with psychotic tendancies, so I know what kind of road that you've been on and are on. It's VERY hard to keep yourself full of "gas" when it's a constant struggle day by day just to get out of bed to deal with someone who doesn't want to manage themselves.
I fought for a year before he finally went to seek help, and after a year of different meds, one finally worked, he finally found a pdoc that he could talk to. Then, the weight gain. I didn't know that men could be vain. The meds they put him on made him balloon up and he didn't like it, so bam! Off the meds he went.
One thing that you have going for you is that you were/are strong enought to tell him, I just sat placidly by and let him steamroll my moods and life to the point that I went on meds myself to deal with the rollercoaster of my marriage. I just sat and waited until he came home one day, dropped off the work boots (Gasp! He had acutally went to work that day!) and looked me dead in the eye and told me that he wasn't going to take any more meds, if I didn't like it then I could leave, and in fact, why don't you leave?
So, I was pushed out into a whole new world that I had never been in, scrambling for an apartment as he got to stay because we were living with his parents and filling a house with things to live with and trying to find out who I am away from a wife.
So, you're strong, you've taken the first step yourself. It's been a bumpy ride, but yet it's fullfilling at the same time. It's only been four months, but these last four months of my life have been the best out of the six years we've been together. I'm happier and not as gloomy. I cried my eyes out for the first month and decided to suck it up on the second, and it's been wonderful. You have DS to think about, focus on that. That will help you get through it, too. Go for it, chick! If you need someone to vent to, than I'm only a PM away! *hugs*
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As someone who grew up with a bi-polar mother, I can definately understand what you are going through. I actually moved out of her house when I was 15 and I have never been able to develop a real relationship with her because she refuses to seek treatment. It just comes to a point where it affects your own sanity...and then it's time to get out!
But I can definately say that you are doing what's best for your son. That type of turbulent environment was awful growing up. Trust me!
Thank you ladies for you support. The move went pretty well, and I am feeling better about it all. Still don't know how it will all turn out, but that is what good counselors are paid to help sort out.
__________________ Lucky mommy of Quinn, 6 years.
PCOS, IBS, Clinical Depression, Lyme Disease, allergies
trying to go natural, down to 1 script, 1 OTC(love u Zyrtec!) and lots of vitamins
ACK! I tried to respond to your PM that you sent me, and I don't have enough posts to send one yet, I'm going to try my hardest, but I did attempt to reply! If you want, my e-mail is the same as my sn, just at gmail.com
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I hope that you feel better soon. Try to take comfort in the fact that it really sounds like what you are doing is best for you and DS in the long run.
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Mini Goal- 140- REACHED 7/28/08!!! New Mini Goal- 130! - REACHED 10/10/08!!! 27 years old- no meds- trying to get healthy through diet and exercise
i am so sorry that you have had to make such a hard decision in your life. just know that it's something that is right for you and your son!
Jay has bi-polar as well and luckily it's not as bad as it used to be. I wish your situation could have been different.
If you ever need to talk just PM me hun!
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Corrie-Ann {26} To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. BF Raymond {40} est. since October 23rd, 2008
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Angel Baby ~ Taylor Riley
July 22nd, 2007 ... 5w 1d "forever watching over me"
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highest weight = 275lbs in '02
Short Term WL Goal: 230 {220} 218
Mid-Point WL Goal: 230 {220} 185
Final WL Goal: 230 {220} 140
I am so sorry you're going through this. I've been there with my husband too who now takes his medicine faithfully. Maybe this will be the kick he needs to get himself in gear. If not, you need to take care of yourself and your son. If there is anything I can do to help (or listen), PM me.
Thanks ladies for all of your words of encouragement. We are scheduling extra sessions with our counselor, and things seem to be improving, so I guess I made the right choice. Hopefully this time apart will give him some perspective on how he manages his disorder, and how he treats us. It is very hard to love someone, and feel as though you are leaving them in the middle of their illness, but this isn't an ordinary illness either. It is more like leaving an alcoholic until they decide to get clean. Thanks again for your prayers and kind words.
__________________ Lucky mommy of Quinn, 6 years.
PCOS, IBS, Clinical Depression, Lyme Disease, allergies
trying to go natural, down to 1 script, 1 OTC(love u Zyrtec!) and lots of vitamins
Corrie-Ann {26} To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. BF Raymond {40} est. since October 23rd, 2008
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Angel Baby ~ Taylor Riley
July 22nd, 2007 ... 5w 1d "forever watching over me"
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highest weight = 275lbs in '02
Short Term WL Goal: 230 {220} 218
Mid-Point WL Goal: 230 {220} 185
Final WL Goal: 230 {220} 140
Leaving my husband 
I hope that you feel better soon. Try to take comfort in the fact that it really sounds like what you are doing is best for you and DS in the long run.
i am so sorry that you have had to make such a hard decision in your life. just know that it's something that is right for you and your son!
