This is in the March/April 2005 issue of Sharing (page 5). I was so touched by this article because it shows that there CAN be life after the loss of a child, and that there are guys out there who can accept a woman who's so affected by such a loss. So I figured I'd share it with you gals.
All below is a quote:
My name is Sheri Williams and I reside in a wonderful Bavarian style town, Leavenworth, WA. I live with my husband Buddie and my three sons, Justin, Dane and Luke.
I am a survivor of the loss of my first born and only daughter, Lindsey Louise Haight. Lindsey and my son Justin are products of a previous marriage. Lindsey was born with Down Syndrome on December 30, 1988. Like a lot of other Downs children, she was born with a hole in her heart. We waited until she was about six months old to make sure she was strong and could survive the heart surgery, a fairly routine procedure to the heart surgeon who performed the operation. Unfortunately, Lindsey came down with a very severe flu which put her into congestive heart failure. Lindsey spent 61 days in the ICU, and after three open heart surgeries in this same period of time, she was removed from life support.
A mere 8 months of age, I never lost faith and I spent an average of 14 hours a day at her bedside and prayed through two different code blues. She spent these 61 days at Duke University.
Being a survivor of the loss of a child is an every day reality. My struggles over the big question "why her" and the constant reminder through the chance meetings with other Down Syndrome children make her presence in me sometimes too overwhelming.
What I would like to share with others is a wonderful gift my husband Buddie is giving to me. My husband had never seen, met, or knew anything of Lindsey. What he knows of her is through me. Lindsey is buried in a cemetery in Seattle, WA. A beautiful place to be put to rest in what they call "Babyland," on a hillside overlooking the military remembrance grounds. We live two hours on the other side of a mountain range from where she is buried. This makes it difficult for me to be the caretaker of her grave site. My husband knows that one of my greatest joys in life is our children. I do not work outside the home in order to care for my family and be available should I be needed by the boys for any reason.
Last summer my husband took me on a drive towards the mountains and showed me the very quaint local cemetery. He told me on this sunny beautiful day that he wants to bring Lindsey home. What did that mean to me? In my mind, it meant to create some kind of memorial area in our backyard. What my husband was telling me is that he is actually going to have Lindsey's grave moved to the cemetery here. This was very costly, and we had a lot of red tape to go through.
My heart overflows with feelings for Buddie, and the thought of being able to spend time caring for her grave site and talking freely with her as often and whenever I want to, means the absolute world to me. I can never express how much love my husband brings to my life.
So, in closing, to say that no one shares in the grief unless they have had the loss themselves is not entirely true. Buddie is living proof that Lindsey touched his heart through me, and his only loss is he never got to meet her. My dream now is that someday we will all be truly blessed and meet in Heaven, together.
Viv again - I just cried AGAIN reading this. Her husband seems so amazing. If only all men could be this understanding during/after a loss.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Tara & Tom have been married since 10/28/2001.
They have 3 boys: Cole 5/18/2006, Hunter 5/22/2006 & Owen 02/11/2008.
They recently added 2 furball kitties to the mix - Zoe (4 years) & Sushi (currently 9 weeks) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
What a wonderful man Buddie is. She sounds like a wonderful woman too. Viv, thanks for sharing this.
__________________ Lean cyster ~ M/c @ 10 wks after seeing heartbeat 8/04, m/c @ about 10 weeks after seeing heartbeat 8-09. 2 chemical PGs lost @ 4.5 wks 1/05 & 3/05. 4/05: Dx w/antiphospholipid antibody syndrome.
BFP on Thanksgiving 2009! Due date August 9, 2010. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Daniel Benjamin born/died October 4, 2004. Ari Lev born/died May 21, 2005.
so sweet. the power of love is amazing. it's true that our lives are changed forever, but they aren't over. there is so much more out there for us if we can have the courage to seek it. what a wonderful man.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
I just wanted to post that DH and I are in this issue of SHARING as well...in the "In Memory Section". We made a donation in memory of our first baby, Mooch. Our last name starts with Sch, if anyone wants to check that out...(my name is Meghan).
We still need to donate in memory of our other 2 angels...
A letter published by SHARE 
Where can we find a man like that?
