Hello all, I'm new here and never been in any type of forum. So I'm not really sure on what to say. I guess I don't want to offend anyone by my question I have. But I'll get to that in a moment.
I'm 27 years old and was diagnosed with pcos when I was about 19-20 years old. I've been put on all types of birth control pills to regulate my periods and had to be taken off all of them because my moods were out of control.
Doctor put me on medroxyprogesterone, come to find out that drug isn't good for me either.
I'm supposed to try a new birth control as soon as I have my next period, but I have no idea when that will happen. It's been about 2 months since my last cycle.
My husband also has fertility problems, so basically I have a double whammy going on. And it seems like everything is going against me.
For the past seven years I've been faced with all of these questions that I've kept to myself. I don't know how religous anyone is. And honestly I believe in god but don't go to church.
I guess my biggest question is and that I've been dealing with is, why would god put me through this much pain of not being able to conceive a child?
For the past 7 years we've been trying and I've had no luck what so ever.
So I guess I was wondering does everyone with pcos have this question? And do you go through the same thing I do. I don't mean not understanding this condition, but just the fact that god or what ever spirit you believe in would make it so hard to conceive.
I guess I just need help dealing with this, I see people everyday with newborns, or that are pregnant and every day I come home depressed and snapping at my husband. Of course not telling him what's wrong and then blaming everything on him.
I guess I just need to vent to people who understand since everyone I know doesn't. And they don't try to.
I know exactly how you feel, but you just have remember that there are so many things that can been done about this now. I'm just starting to try to get pregnant, after 3 years of not preventing it, and it makes me mad every day that these idiotic people have children, but I can't. You should visit you obgyn and speak with him/her about your options. Even if insurance doesn't cover fertility, there are a lot of affordable options. Good luck!
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I'll answer from a little different perspective. I believe in God, too. And I believe that God has lots of different purposes for everyone. It may be that he has something he wants you to accomplish or learn or do before you have children. Maybe he has something for you and it does not include ever having children. Last semester I took a class on the book of Job, in the Bible. I don't know if you're familiar with that or not. The bottom line of the class was that we shouldn't ask God "why do bad things happen?" I don't want to offend anyone either, but the Bible teaches that bad things happen because of sin. So, until we get to heaven, we'll have to deal with bad things happening here on earth. But the question we should ask God when we're in difficult situations is "what can I learn from this? what are you trying to teach me?" It might be patience or it might be something about love or it might be to learn to trust God in all situations. I have no idea what God might be wanting to grow in your life, but you can probably find it if you seek it. I know He has taught me some lessons through this PCOS business. As far as having babies, the other person who responded was right... there are lots of advances in technology. I hope you can find a wise doctor to help you with that. I also hope that whether you have children or not, you'll find contentment in life. For me, if babies come, great. If not, I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing... trying to make the world a better place, trying to point people to God, trying to be a good sister, a good aunt, and hopefully soon a good wife. I kinda figure I'm getting too old to have babies, but you never know. Sarah and Abraham there in the Old Testament had a baby when they were 100 years old or so. Miracles happen.
__________________ Chel (36) dx 11/2002 blog.myspace.com/deu316 married 2-17-07 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. to mr. b 220/163.5/140
I wanted to say thanks for the encouraging messages. I don't know if I'm in this self pity phase or what. But I can't seem to get out of this slump/depression which ever you want to call it.
I went to visit a friend the other day and she had just given birth a few days before. So ever since seeing her and the baby, I've been having these questions and what not.
The doctor I am seeing did say she would try me on clomid if everything seemed ok.
But I'm kinda scared that it won't be since it's not just me with fertility issues. It's also my husband.
Like I said before it seems as though everything is working against me. And I think after seven years of trying and everything seems to fail, that I'm affraid that this won't work either (being on clomid, well being able to take it).
I guess having so much negativity in my life doesn't help.
I'm glad to have people to talk to, I can always talk to my husband and he listens.
But when I say it out loud it's to real for me and I don't want to break down. I guess I'm trying to be strong, and maybe I shouldn't be holding it in so much.
I agree with ChelNY...I am not married and have never tried to conceive, but I can only imagine the stress and disappointments that it could bring. Even though PCOS can depress me at times and I tend to dwell in my circumstances--I am thankful to God for my condition because I am glad that I have it, a person with faith, rather than someone without faith and no hope. When I first got diagonised I asked God, "Why me?" and then I began asking "Why not me?" Even though I am sure I am going to have a lot of heartaches when it comes time for me to try and conceive. In the Old Testament, Sarah and Rebekah were both barren, but God supplied and He does perform miracles. I am reminded often of the verse in Exodus when it says, "The Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord.'" I always add Have not I, the Lord made the girl with PCOS? There are so many alternatives to pregnancy these days, but I know that whatever happens God created me and he will do something special in my life despite whether I conceive or not. I hope this offers some encouragement to you and I hope God does bless you with a child!
I admit sometimes I have thought about this, but have come to peace with not having children, now that I'm at the end of my child bearing years.
One answer, frequently heard from those who are religious, is that God has another purpose for you, and that we never really know why God choses to do what he does.
Another way to look at it, especially if you are not religious, is to say, "Well, I may never have children. But I also may never die in a tsunami." If you are religious, how do you answer the question of why God allows something like that to happen?
I think we all grow up hoping for a sunny life. And that we will all achieve our dreams. And it is important to hope, and to set goals, and to be optimistic. But it is also undeniably the case that truly horrible things do happen in life, and that we are all probably going to have our fair share of really ****ty things happen to us. Some of us are going to be the victims of horrible crimes. Some of us will suffer from diseases truly more problematic and life altering than PCOS. The list of crappy things that can happen can go on and on, both large scale crappy things and small scale crappy things.
I've had good and bad things happen in my life. From my perspective now, PCOS has played a fairly minor role in my life, and being childless is not the horrible fate I once imagined it to be. I know that life, or God, could present me with far worse, and that on the whole I am an incredibly fortunate person. Children or not.
__________________ "I knew I had a problem when I put my underpants on backwards and they fit better..."
Age 46
Obesity, very mild hirsuitism now almost gone with age and met, seriously thinning hair. Regular cycles on met.
Diagnosed with diabetes 8/2003
Like you I also believe in God but I don't go to church. I was also dignosed with PCOS at 19. I asked all the questions of why me, what am I supposed to do now, who would want me, etc? I can't say that I have had a religious enlightenment, but a good friend to talk to when I was blue, MOM (who also suffers from PCOS and Endometriosis). She taught me that when things were getting me down or troubling me, that I just had to let them be. "Roll with the punches" so to speak. Once I let go of trying to get certain things in life to fall into place, wonderful things started to happen. Here I was trying so hard to make my life a certain way, and I couldn't. I realize I have a slim chance of having children. But I have also decided that when the time is right, there is adoption. ("Good things happen to those who wait.")
I have just recently got married to my high school sweet heart. And trust me there were four years that we were not talking or talking a little. Still remained friends, but never in my wildest dreams did I think he would take me back after breaking his heart in high school. I was wrong though. SO VERY WRONG! I let go of trying to make something happen and just "rolled with the punches." And now I am married to my best friend.
I can't give you answers of why you, but what I can tell you is that in the long run you will be a better person. And with that you can help someone else get through their tough times.
I wish you the best of luck! Just know that if you are ever blue or just need someone else to talk to besides your hubby, we are all here to listen. Please feel free to message me. I am always here to listen.
Racheal
P.S. Thank you ladys for the words of wisdom. I have learned a few things this morning, and I am very greatful for it all.
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"A person is not a failure because she tried some things that did not work out. She fails only when she stops trying." ~Joyce Meyer To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
a little bit about myself/ question 
I can't say it will all be okay ... 
Jasmin79,
