A little sad tonight

mandirae23 · 01-09-2006, 03:26 AM

I'm usually fine. I don't think I've ever felt depression before. I just feel down tonight.

I just struggle with lonliness. I know, you may think that I'm married and I have a cat. I shouldn't be lonely. But I am. My husband and I have had our problems and we've almost split so many times. But I think our marriage problems contributes to my loneliness. I sometimes feel like my husband thinks I have an ugly body or that he doesn't like the fact that I'm not "normal". I think about it a lot. I just want to be normal so that he finds me attractive again. I'm just afraid that he's cheating on me again. I dunno. Maybe I'm making it all up. He just doesn't want me anymore like he used to. He just keeps telling me it's stress. I just can't believe it.

Sorry to bother you all. I'm just needing a little pick-me-up I guess. I'm just filled with sadness and anger a lot more than I used to be. I don't know how to fix it.

nicole47 · 01-09-2006, 03:45 AM

There are always people here to talk to...

I can understand how given your current relationship state you would be feeling lonely. It sounds like you don't trust your husband and that you have reasons from the past not to... I can't really say much about that except suggest that you do counseling together, if you're not already, to figure out what's going on, and if possible, regain trust and intimacy in your relationship.

Also, you might want to consider things like volunteering or getting involved in other activities to bring you into contact with more people and to help you get to know yourself better.

Good luck, and I hope things work out!

mandirae23 · 01-09-2006, 04:01 AM

Thanks for the reply post. We've been to 2 different marriage counselors and both have said everything is my fault. So, I really am afraid to see another counselor. The original cheating happend 6 months into our marriage. That was 4 1/2 years ago. My husband now believes nothing is worth seeing a counselor for. He says it's been so long that it shouldn't bother me anymore. Well, maybe some day he'll realize that it still bothers me (beyond the fact that I keep telling him). Thank you for your post.

alyn7803 · 01-09-2006, 07:04 PM

Mandirae23--
Unless you physically drove him to the other woman's house and forced him to do whatever... it is certainly not your fault! You need another counselor! Plus just seeing one for yourself can be imensely helpful, not only for your marriage but for your self esteem as well!
Hang in there!

ABumpyGal · 01-10-2006, 02:39 AM

I agree with Alyn above 100%. There is no way it could be "your fault" as it was his decision to make, not yours. There are a lot of crappy counselors out there, sadly.

And your husband's response that it's been so long ago and when are you just going to forget is pretty typical in my experience. I've never been cheated on while married, but I was cheated on while in serious relationships and I heard this one from both of them. What I finally figured out that they were saying was, "Look, I don't want to talk about it. Can't we just forget about that, pretend it never happened and move on?" Your husband may be saying something different, but if you listen carefully to the things he says and watch the things he does, you'll probably figure it out.

I also agree with Nicole. Try to get involved with your community or a group. Perhaps volunteering at any given local charity or shelter. Check your local newspaper for announcements for meetings for local groups and see if any grab your interest. Then you can get out and meet people, be around people, be busy and I bet it would help you feel a lot better.

(((((hugs)))))! I hope things get better for you soon!
Dana

mandirae23 · 01-10-2006, 03:04 AM

Thank you girls for your support! I feel much better today.

Catwoman2005 · 01-10-2006, 08:11 PM

I sent you a PM mandirae23...

Gald your feeling better today...