looking professional but not too girly

LeelaR · 01-31-2008, 10:51 PM

So here's my question. I have a very public job in which I need to be well-regarded, set the tone for the atmosphere, etc etc. I need to be approachable but not sloppy, warm but not casual, and do it all with grace. I need to be able to go from speaking in front of a sizeable crowd to giving someone a hug to teaching a class,all in one day.

And I hate shopping.

Partly I hate it because deep down I think clothes should be there to keep us warm and dry. Fashion is not my thing. Replacing perfectly good clothes annoys me, so I try to buy the most classic possible styles...and I rarely find clothes that I like in stores, because what I want is SIMPLE. I've gone so far as to consider adopting some kind of "plain dress" just so I can get off the fashion treadmill altogether. Still, weight fluctuation being what it is, I have a closet that covers every size from 6 to 16.

...and partly I hate it because women's clothes don't fit me. PCOS means I have that apple shape that doesn't curve in where it should; if the waist fits the hips are way too big and so is the chest. I'm kind of a cylinder: about 36 or 40 inches around from shoulders to knees. So given the realities and my butch-leaning androgyny, off I go to the men's department, where everything is a little too big. Then off to boy's where everything is too small, but only by a few inches. (A boy's size 24 or so would fit pretty well, if it existed.)

The trouble with boy's clothes is that they rarely come in anything that could pass for professional, and while I don't like it, I do need to look professional.

I have short hair, and I'm short: about 5'2". I can't stand heels or skirts that require stockings, and I can't wear women's suits because my proportions are all wrong. Even if I could, I feel odd looking so femme. (I know, no self-respecting femme would dress the way I do. But it's femme for me.)

I can't be the only person with this set of problems. I'm grateful that I'm queer and androgynous; I hate to think how I'd feel if I were struggling with this and wanted to look feminine and function in a straight social context. Still, it's annoying. Anyone got a solution?

MissChrystal · 01-31-2008, 10:56 PM

I'm not in your identical situation...but I don't ever EVER dress girly. I like jeans and a t-shirt! lol

At my work, however, we must dress up.

How about a pair of nice slacks and a button up collar dress blouse? It's simple, but nice looking and not really very girly appearing?

If you aren't big into color, Black pants and a white top! easy and classic.

As far as shoes, loafers or something flat that only show under the pant leg in the front but match the attire.

If you have time, maybe buy something from the men's department and find a seamstress to fit it more to your shape?

Good luck!

LeelaR · 02-01-2008, 01:45 PM

Hmmm, maybe. The trouble is, my belly is too big for most blouses.

Smorgan128 · 02-01-2008, 02:06 PM

If you think your belly is too large then i might suggest empire waisted blouses. They have ties under the chest which help hide the belly and lay in a much more flattering way, it also makes it look like you have more of a waist by synching in the smallest part of your torso. I know it's kind of more girly but will make you look like you have more shape than you claim you do. I have to dress professionally for work, (suits) and a nice blouse underneath, and my problem is my weight is in my stomach and hips so jackets don't fit right, too loose on the chest, to tight in the stomach.

LeelaR · 02-01-2008, 02:14 PM

Stephanie,

Yes! Exactly! Either too loose in the chest or WAY too tight in the waist. Empire waists are a good idea (Jane Austen period clothes, anyone?) if I can find them in professional forms. I don't mind some femininity sometimes, I'm just not at ease with it most of the time. The other challenge with empire waists is that they cannot be tucked in, and it's cold here!

I suppose I could wear an entire long underwear suit under an empire-waisted dress. I'll have to think about that one. Hmmm.

PBLayzod · 02-01-2008, 02:29 PM

Land's End and LLBean seem to have a boxier cut. Eddie Bauer might be another option. Have you ever tried them? They certainly have nice, simple, non-girly options. I agree that you might need to consider having things tailored if they just aren't fitting off the rack. It is nice, though, if you can find a brand (even just one) that fits when you bring it home. Good luck and hope it was okay to visit this part of the board.

LeelaR · 02-01-2008, 02:33 PM

PBL, thanks for stopping by! I'm thinking of looking into Land's End's custom-tailored clothes, although I think I'd have to call them to figure out if they should start with men's or women's patterns. It makes me nervous, but they're a well-regarded company, so I'm assuming it somehow works well.

Smorgan128 · 02-01-2008, 03:10 PM

Lane Bryants have a lot of empire waisted blouses and I tuck mine in sometimes under my jackets, or i get ones short enough that the jacket is longer than the blouse. Lane Bryants also had a new sizing system on their pants and different colors are supposed to represent different ways you carry your weight. I got sized yesterday and i wear yellow (stomach weight). They fit nicely.

http://lanebryant.charmingshoppes.co...t_work_landing

Here are some non-waisted blouses that might work too http://lanebryant.charmingshoppes.co...267&pagesize=3

CarleeInNC · 02-22-2008, 03:38 PM

My very best suggestion was given to me from an employee at Catherine's. Buy classic womens suits when they are on sale (late spring for my area) and have them tailored. I have the same cylinder shape as you describe (only bigger around) so I bought 1 jacket, and took another that had sat in my closet for the past year. I paid $20 (9.99 a piece) and I had custom fitted clothes that flattered my shape. The tailor told me she could make anything including a bathing suit fit me better. Check with the local dry cleaners, or dress shops for names and recommendations.