Losing my baby at 17 wks and i now know the cause

chelseaharvey · 07-24-2003, 02:15 PM

Hi my name is Gemma and i am 20 years old, i was diagnosed with PCOS when i was 15 and i dont know to much about it. I dont suffer with anything like, acene, weight problems etc etc just that my periods are very irregular, some times they come every month others not for months.
Me and my fiancee of 3 years had been trying for ababy for 20 months in dec 01 i was given some chlophine and some other tabletrs to make me have a AF every month and to rippen the eggs, i decided that i would strt taken them in feb once xmas was over with and we had moved into our new place. In the end thou i ended up concieveing around the 26th jan. As soon as i had missed my period after comming on in dec i didnt think about it i thought that it was just going to be like normal but thought id do a HPT incase NEGATIVE.. Then 15 days after i started to feel tired aall the time need ing the loo and my boobs felt sore and heavy. I got my baby book out of a box along with 20 months worth of baby clothing buying etc and had a look through to see what the signs were sure enough i was displaying some and within the nxt few days the outer circles of my nipples started to go darker. I did another HPT but it came back negative. All the time thou i felt like AF was going to arrive i had cramps and i had a bit of spotting. I didnt understand quite what was going on. I went to my doctor and xplaines what was going on and she made me do a urine sample and said she'd phone.
On the 24/03/2003 she phoned to say the test had come back indecisive and showed a wak positve couild i come and have a blood test, i got xcited from then and the nxt wk went to have my blood done. On the 5th march 2003 i phoned for my results and was told it was positve.

I couldnt believe it 20 months we had been trying and i was starting to believe it wasn't going to be possible with the help of fertility treatment etc. IT TOOK 35 DAYS FROM CONCEPTION THOU FOR ME TO GET A POSITVE RESULT... I was almost 5 weeks

My pregancy was pretty straight 4ward didnt suffer with sickness just feeling nauseas here and there. I started to bleed at 9 weeks abit and was reffered for a internal scan, i saw my baby for the first time with a heart beat and it made my eyes fill with tears made it seem so much more seriel. The reason for the bleeding thou was because the placanta was lying ova the birth canal.
From then on things were fine no more bleeding etc and i felt fine even started to show from 11 weeks.

On the 17/05/2003 & 17 weeks gone me and my fiancee were led on the sofa trying to hear the heartbeat thru a empty toilet roll holder (it said this was possible from 4 months in our baby book), we couldnt hear anything didnt know where to start so went along to the hospital and asked to hear it.
We xplained what we had been trying to do and were told that we wouldnt be able to hear it thru a toliet roll holder until i was alot bigger and further gone and that woiuld alos depend on if the baby was lying in the right position. She got the doppler out and as soon as i heard the wosshing sounds comming from it i thout "theres our babys heartbeat" but she kept saying no thats you thats you. After about 5 mins she said she would do a scan as the doppler wasnt always reliable. Something told me inside that the baby was dead and my eyes filled with tears.
The scan showed our baby but no heartbeat and that it was measuring in at 10 weeks. I couldnt believe it 7 weeks my baby had been dead inside me and i hadnt known id had no pain bleeding etc and each wk my waiste had continued to xpand i was told this was beacuse i had kept hold of the baby that my body still thought i was pregant so kept releasing the hormones.

I went in for my D&C on the 21/05/2003 i opted for it to be done that way instead of nature taking its course, 7 weeks id kept hold of it so far pw much longer would i have to wait. Whilst waiting in the hallway on my own as my fiancee wasnt allowed to go any further i burst into tears thinking i wasnt going to get to feel my baby kick or move, see my belly get any bigger find out the sex, get to hold it, hear it cry, see it take its 1st steps hear its first words and tell it i love it.

That was 10 weeks ago that happened and its been hard, my fiancees brothers girlfriend has just had a baby who is now 4 wks old and that was hard, when i heard she went into labour i cried, i was jelous when i found out she was pregant in sept 02. We have been to see them and the 1st time was hard my eyes just filled with tears when i held him for the 1st time thinking i wsas going to miss out on this.
Everywhere i go there are pregant people or my mates saying there pregnant a few have gone on to have abortions, dont get me wrong thats there choice and maybe they werent ready. But theres me who tried for 20 months to lose it and i wanted it so bad and then people who fall pregnant so easily and dont want it. I suppoose in a way im jelous to, i just want to have what they have to be pregnant and xcited. I use to, i want things to go back to how they were but its not going to

All the baby things are packed away now, i was more or less sorted just had the cot, bedding and pushchair to get, the wk beofre i brought the carseat (i had to it was lush) and a load of newborn nappies.
Its 10 wks ago since that happened and i have had my 1st AF since the D&C now on CD13 so hopefuly this wkend mite be lucky for me, (back to trying again) this is around the dates that i concieved in jan. Its just hard to know when im ovulating as i dont have a AF every month and will proably continue not to.
If this month isnt succsessful im going to buy the ovulation sticks we move into our new place end of this month so we can bd every other day hard at the mo as were livinh with my parents so bd last wkend on CD7-9 and again this wkend on CD14-16 and then again nxt wkend. not holding my breathe thou it toom 20 months last time cant see me falling pregant again so quick.

You 4get how often it happens and people lose there babys, and how were all in the same boat to how we feel.
On the 25th june i found out the cause of my miscarrage 2 sperms entered the egg at the same time and our baby had 69 chromosones instead of 46. Its called a HYDITIDIFORM MOLE.

Gemma x

Ceej · 07-24-2003, 02:37 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I understand how hard it is to accept and move on I know there will probably never be another day that that goes by that you dont think of your baby.

On the positive side (i know there really isnt a positive side but...)You know what went wrong and it is something that most likely will never happen to you again.

I wish you the best of luck.

tallybarry · 07-24-2003, 04:51 PM

i am so sorry for your loss. i also had a loss at 16 weeks. the baby died at 13 weeks. i was stunned, couldnt believe that i hadnt known. welcome to soulcysters. i hope that you take the time to grieve your baby and come here anytime you need to talk.

MaLee · 07-25-2003, 05:20 AM

I am so sorry to hear this. I too had a molar pg. Is your doctor watching your HCG levels to make sure they are at zero - esp. since you went so far. (I had a D&C at 8wk2d.) Did the doctor tell you that you shouldn't TTC for at LEAST 6 months to make that there is no residual tissue left. This tissue can regrow if just ONE CELL is left in the uterus. A mole is a form of cancer and can spread to other organs. It is extremely important to follow your HCG to zero and make sure it stays there for a few months. I had to wait a year to TTC. (It will finally be up in 2 weeks.) If you have any questions - just ask me. Again - I am so sorry and (((((((((HUGE HUGS FOR YOU AND DH))))))))))))))

MaLee · 07-25-2003, 05:32 AM

Here are some past post that may interest you.

molar pregnancies
What is the difference between a chemical pg, a molar pg & a blighted ovum?

cryinginPA · 07-26-2003, 01:54 AM

Your story is just like mine. I went to a regular prenatal visit. Everything was fine until they couldn't find the heartbeat...rushed me to ultrasound. There I sat for 1 hour by myself in the dark to have a stranger come out and tell me that I miscarried. I had no idea. My baby stopped growing a nine weeks...this appointment was my 12th. I decided to let nature take it's course...NEVER again. I carried the baby for 2 more weeks. I had very strong contractions for about 10 hours then I passed it at home..so yes I got to see it. I cried, and cried, and cried with my husband. Counldn't believe what I saw! Then I just spotted for a few days. Then about a week later, I bled like crazy for three hours and had to have an emergency D&C. That was to worst thing ever because I was so weak from bleeding so much. I had to sit in the ER for 2 hours having my husband change my pads because no doctor or nurse came to see me....TWO HOURS with extremely heavy bleeding!!!!! It took me days to recover...I had to take strong iron pills because my count was so low. I haven't ovulated since then.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!!!