so i've been lurking for a couple days not feeling like i really fit in anywhere.
monday night i went into labor and tuesday morning delivered a tiny girl too little to survive. the u/s a half hour before showed her to be "perfectly healthy" but the gestational sac from a vanishing twin at 8w failed to be absorbed and was causing labor that could not be stopped. so my healthy baby that was measuring ahead at 16w with perfect toes and ears is gone.
i got to spend some time with her....
she was so small, just the size of my hand.
i don't know. maybe it hasn't sunk in, maybe i need more time to believe it. the only time i cry is when i talk about, but most of the time i walk around as if i was never pg at all. i packed away my plans with my maternity clothes and strangely enough went right back to planning to ttc.
i find myself disappointed that i have to wait until june to try again. i wish there was a magic redo button. i wish there was something better for me focus on.
this is day four and i hope time flies and takes me out of this weird place i am now.
__________________
Dianna - 30 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Don - 25 Married 1/11/08 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Isaac lives in heaven now
April 21st, 2009
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
BFP 7/6 IT'S A GIRL 10/5
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Many ((hugs)). I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I hope you are able to find peace and healing. You are in my prayers.
__________________ Stacy-31 DH Jeff-32 DS Justin-3 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my baby 3 weeks ago and was ready to ttc right away. I think it helps to look forward to something than dwell on the present. That at least, is what it is for me. I am so sorry again. (((hugs)))
I'm am truly sorry for your loss. I had a loss too over 16 wks. We just mysteriously lost the hb and never found the cause. You're going through a lot. Whatever emotions that come just try to accept them and let them flow the best that you can. I don't think with what you're going through there is any right or wrong. I big thing for me with my m/c was I was so scared I wouldn't mourn right and would heal improperly. It took me a while before the emotions really set in and took ahold of me. I had a D&C on 10/31 and it wasn't until December and January where it really kicked in. I could cry at the drop of a dime. If you need anyone to talk to please feel free to PM me.
__________________
Kristina (27) & Dustin (28)
Married 10/26/02
DD Ani Rose born 3/21/03 ~ au naturale
Angel babies @ 16 wks (10/08) & 9wks (3/09)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Laura (27) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. James (32)
Zoe Cassandra is here! Born 9/21/09 at 6:12pm MST. She weighed in at 7lbs, 5.5oz's, 19.5 inches! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Noelle - my little baby, was only with us for 17 weeks and 5 days, February 7, 2005
2nd loss - my little angel, could only stay with us for a little while, 8 weeks, August 3, 2005
Hoping to remain positive, always...
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
oh my g-d what a heartbreaking story. I am so sorry for your loss. we lost our baby yesterday at 3 months pregnant. i wish you strength.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Me- 30 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Husband- 34 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Our Pup
hoping ivf will bring us a healthy baby To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Dianna--I have been in your shoes, maybe not in the exact same situation. But my boys were both born still 6 months apart. Just know that however you grieve is yours! Don't let anyone tell you that you need to get over it, or that she is better off etc...all of the stupid things people can/will say because they don't know any better. The women on this thread are wonderful women who have also lost their precious lil ones and we are here when ever you need us! Just know we are here!!
{{{HUGZ}}}
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne (30) & Alton (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DSD (11) & DSS (9)
Alton "Tre' " Bernard III 22w0d: 01/12/08 - 01/12/08
Walter Renoid 19w5d: 07/03/08 - 07/03/08
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
4/2/09 +HPT
Met 3x750, Klexane 80ml 2xd,asp 81mg,cal.286g,iron 100
heartbeat seen 4/14,16,24,28&5/5,18,28,2,9/6 hb=176 28.5 hb=161.86, 6.2&9 hb=154.8
b6/29 baby 185g,7/28 343g IT'S A BOY!!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 7/6-hb=150
I'm very sorry about your loss! Anytime you want to talk about it, just post. This process tends to be a rollercoaster, so try to be gentle with yourself. How are you now?
(((Hugs)))
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Dianna - so sorry for you loss. It is so difficult to deliver your baby only to lose them. Please take time for yourself to grieve. I read a very good book when I lost my son. The title is "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart". Best of luck to you.
__________________ Lisa (37) Gregg (45)
2 Stepkids - Lindsey (9) Danny (18)
2 Furbabies - Harry & Sally To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2 Chem preg., 1 M/C, 1 Preemie lost to IC at 23 wks
BFP 10/30/09
1st u/s - 11/6/09 heartbeat 180
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
thank you ladies for your support. i'm afraid the loss has finally sunk in and i believe i've lost my mind. i seem to go back and forth between irrational anger and absolute devastation. i'm sadder every day. DH is great. he stays by my side and tries to console me. he tells me things will be better next time and our baby will live. i don't know how long i should feel like this. is it really ok to be crying two weeks later? should i get professional help?
__________________
Dianna - 30 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Don - 25 Married 1/11/08 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Isaac lives in heaven now
April 21st, 2009
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
BFP 7/6 IT'S A GIRL 10/5
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Diana-I think its completely normal to still be crying 2 weeks later. You've suffered a tremendous loss and the healing process is long. It certainly couldn't hurt to talk to a professional if you think it might help. I'm so sorry you are going through this. My prayers are with you and your DH. Many ((hugs))
__________________ Stacy-31 DH Jeff-32 DS Justin-3 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
loss at 15w3d 
