venicepink

I recently lost my twins at 20 weeks (this after 3 years TTC, 2 surgeries, 6 IUI's, 1 year on Glucophage XR, and 1 IVF). Where do I find information on what should be happening to me physically? The doctors say it was because of IC. I was able to find information when I was TTC w/ PCOS, IVF, IUI, etc. But what about now.

I gave birth. I held my babies and they were alive. Everyone and every site describes miscarriages and dead babies, but mine were alive and I delivered (my second twin after 36 hours), what happens now. My OB doesn't want to see me for 6 weeks, my RE for 7 weeks. So how do I know if what is happening to me is normal??

I am having a lot of discharge, it is like mucos with blood and smells horrible. I am having milk come out. Is any of this normal??

I still look pregnant, so everyone still asks how my pregnancy is going-I therefore rarely leave home and never without a large jacket (not practical in Texas).

Has anyone experienced any of this? Why don't my doctors want to see me for 6 weeks? With what happened to me it seems they should want to see me sooner.

Any feedback would be welcome.

GabrielsMom

venicepink, I'm so so sorry for your loss It just devastates me to hear about it when it happens. I also lost my son at almost 20 weeks in November. He was born alive as well. His name was Gabriel, and I miss him so very much.

I think that your discharge is normal. I bled for about 4 weeks after birth. I also had some milk come out of me... I know that is disturbing. But it is normal.

I have also been diagnosed with IC and will have a cerclage the next time I get pregnant. There is great site for IC questions at:

http://groups.msn.com/IncompetentCervixSupport

I've found a lot of information there.

Big hugs,
Adrianne

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Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
Gabriel born 19w5d 11/15/04 due to IC.

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saluki_fan

Hi venicepink,

I have not gone through a loss with IC, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. We are all here to support you if you need it.

(((Hugs)))

Meghan (saluki_fan)

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Lean cyster ~ M/c @ 10 wks after seeing heartbeat 8/04, 2 chemical PGs lost @ 4.5 wks 1/05 & 3/05. 4/05: Dx w/antiphospholipid antibody syndrome.

DS 1/06 after 3 m/c's, APS, chorioamnionitis & a cord knot. DD 12/07 after APS & a funky seizure 4 days before birth.

1 dog, 1 angel dog, 1 angel cat (R.I.P. Charlie 11/21/08)

creme brulee

Venicepink - my heart absolutely breaks for you and I'm so sorry this had to happen after such a struggle to get pregnant. I know your twins were so badly wanted and I wish you much strength during this very difficult time. I would contact your dr to see if there is a counselling service available as I'm sure you feel this is a very lonely and unbearable time for you and your family. All that you are experiencing physically is normal and you will be experiencing what every woman goes through postpartum regardless of your tragic situation.

All the best hon and I hope the ladies on this coping with pregnancy loss board will offer you some great support and encouragement.

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DD born 2/1/05 @ 34wks wt 5#

DS born 5/15/08 @ 38wks wt 7#4oz

saluki_fan

Oh, I'd like to add:

Check out www.nationalshareoffice.com and www.compassionatefriends.com for some possible sources of information and/or support groups in your area.

Pamela

venicepink. (((((hugs)))) I'm so very sorry for your loss.
What you are going through is normal. I'm so very sorry.
There are some great threads here ans lots of support.
(hugs)
Pam

SheriKCMO

I'm so sad to hear about your loss!! I just hate that my cysters are vulnerable to this kind of event and no one is doing anything about it. There are many of us here who just opened up for no reason, way too soon.

I agree that you should look into a support group in your area or personal counselling if that suits you better. It can really help to have someone or some people in person to talk to. We're here for you though! Anytime!

For the physical symptoms, you are post partum, just like a full term birth. You can find lots of info online about those symptoms, but of course those articles will include mention of the babies, etc. Everything you mentioned is normal. Rinsing or washing down under helps with the odor, even several times a day if it is convenient. The milk sometimes takes a while to go away, depending on the individual. Six weeks is a normal post partum visit timeline, but call the doc's office if you are worried about anything. IC doesn't put you at risk for anything after delivery, normally.

Do your babies have names? I'd love to hear about them if you want to talk here... start a new thread with your story, brief or long, if you are ready.

Major Hugs! I've been there...
Sheri

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Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs

First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.

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Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks

Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w

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Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w

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Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs

ProudPCOMom

I am so sorry for your losses! ((hugs))

It is normal to have the discharge and have your milk will come in.

Your cysters are here to support you - lean on us and ask about anything.

Susan

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Susan

PCOS dx 1996
Hypothyroid dx 2001
HELLP dx 2000, told me 2003
MTHFR dx 2004

3 early angels (12/97, 09/98, 02/99)
BS-B-05/00 (9 wks early - pictured at 2 days)-HELLP (3rd gr)
BD-S-04/03 (16 wks early)-HELLP-with us for one hour
BS-M-01/05 (22 wks early)-PPROM, possible IC-born still
AD-K-05/05 - placed 05/07, adopted 09/08
AS-B-06/06 - placed 04/07, adopted 06/08
Armour Thyroid 120 mg
Procardia XL 60mg
Glucophage 1500mg
Baby aspirin

TACM

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my twin daughters at 21 weeks due to a suspected IC. They were also born alive and lived for about an hour each. I too got pregnant after an IVF cycle. It took about 5 days for my milk to dry up, and I bled for over 7 weeks. That is normal for your OB not to see you for 6 weeks, since they consider your delivery a live birth. What helped me most after their loss was meeting with a grief counselor. Also, I met with a high risk OB so I had a plan for my next pregnancy. I ended up doing another IVF cycle a year after I lost my girls and got pregnant with my son. I had a cerclage at 13 weeks and with modified bed rest had my son at 36 weeks. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Traci

Sugawallz910

sorry to hear about you loss

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Starting over is always the hard part.
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CathyWood

I am so sorry that this is happening. Ask us a lot of questions and we will be here for you.

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Cathy 36
Lee 40
Married Feb 12, 1994
HSG Nov 2004
Brandon Aug 8, 2005

VivC

I'm so sorry. IC reared it's very ugly head at 22W for me. With a rescue cerclage, we made it another two, but my baby boy didn't survive (infection).

Everything you're going through sounds "normal." I did have a 2W post-partum visit, but that was because I'd had that massive infection that killed Rivi. One thought I had - try not to let warm water get on your breasts right now. I know it makes them feel better, but it will also prolong the milk.

Nothing any of us say can make this any easier on you. But we're here if you have any more questions. And I'd love to hear your babies' life stories, too, when you're able. Feel free to PM me if you'd rather.

Oh - and do whatever you need to do right now. If you need to sleep, sleep. If you need to ignore the phone, unplug it. Sometimes people are trying to help, but just getting in the way of our grieving.

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Miracle baby boy Rivelino born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten...always to be remembered...forever my source of inspiration.

Dominici

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saluki_fan

Viv, I've heard to avoid hot water on your breasts as well.

I read somewhere that putting raw cabbage leaves on your breasts will soothe them - don't know if that's true - does anyone else know?

GabrielsMom

When I was released from the hospital, I was told the cabbage leaves trick as well. I think it is even on the standard release form.

ReneeBeth

Too many of us here have gone through the same thing. My son was born at almost 21 weeks, after 5 years TTC. He was alive for nearly 2 hours. Most sites and books don't talk about this kind of loss, and they should. Daniel was such a beatiful little boy, I couldn't believe, as I laid there holding him, that he was going to die and i had to say goodbye.
It's hard, but yeah, little by little it will get easier. I lost Daniel due to PTL, not IC, but otherwise it's the same.
Physically, yeah...you sound normal. I bled for 6 or so weeks. I lost Daniel October 4th, and had my first (and as it turned out, only) post-p period on December 28th. I guess I was REALLY unlucky. I started leaking milk around 18w gestation, and even after Daniel was gone, I still was going. I never did stop I guess now I don't mind as much, but up until I found out i was pg again, I cried everytime i saw milk coming out. Please be sure to try the cabbage in the bra trick. I got hives from the cabbage (I'm a freak) but most women swear it works to help dry out the milk. also wearing a tight bra/shirt will help keep the pressure on your chest, and not encourage milk production.
I also wasn't seen until 6w PP. It's normal. But if you feel something isn't right, make sure you call your OB and get seen sooner.
as for the people problem...ugh...sometimes people are clueless. I was glad I decided to unplug my phone, and lock myself inside for a month. The cards I got from people were bad enough (all saying "it wasn't meant to be", "good thing he died now and not at full-term", and other BAD things to say). Just stick around here, we all know what you're going through, and we'll help.

What were your babies names? did you bury or cremate them? It's ok to talk about them if you want to. Talking helps.

Hope you are doing ok. See how many replies you got just within hours of your post? We're here for you!

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Daniel Benjamin born/died October 4, 2004. Ari Lev born/died May 21, 2005.

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