I have been having a lot going on lately with me. I hurt my back and knee in a car wreck 2 1/2 years ago. I have been on pain meds to stop the hurting. Then i have pcos, and i get a pain that runs from my bellybutton all the way down there. Its a very sharp intense pain. I am overweight, ugly, and hate it. I wont even let my husband touch me around my stomach i cant stand it. I feel like crying or shouting or something. I hate being in this much pain, i hate that i cant have kids right away or might not ever..who knows. I hate feeling this all gives me. My job is stressing me out, my husbands job is stressing me out. money... God... i just want to bawl ... my husband only can help me so far, but i dont know what to do. I feels like i am helpless, i hate putting a "face on" for work and many times for my husband as well, so he isnt so stressed out.
Everyone is having kids around me, and i hate being asked after 5 years of marriage when i am going to have kids myself. I will answer what is wrong with me, but they dont know its killing me inside.
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. The words you wrote are exactly how I'm feeling lately. I'm tired of everyone asking me when i'm going to start having kids. I'm tired of ppl. saying, "when you have a kid someday". Why do they assume I'm going to have kids? PCOS is so stressful!! I really hope that things start looking up for you. You are not alone. Good luck, God Bless, and hang in there.
__________________ dx 11/7/06
“The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray.” ~Samuel Chadwick
(((indy))) thanks for the saver and thanks for understanding. I just seems like life is just dumping on me, i keep reaching up... but there is nothing to hold on to. It killed me about my knee and back, then finding out i did have pcos.. just put the icing on the cake. At first, it didnt bother me, then it sunk in. I realized some off the wall emotions was coming from this, and my other pains, and seen what my options are out there. I am so limited caz of money, and awful...awful garbage insurance.
I do want a kid, and i understand why people ask, but then you have to explain why...or just shrug it off and say "i just dont want to right now" if you dont want to explain. I am 25... i thought by now i would be on my way of having a kid.. i told hubby when i got married at 20.. 25 would be the age. Now i see my future.. i can just picture myself in my 30 or 40s having a kid.. and when they grow up.. i will be in a nursing home once they hit high school. Or i see no kids... just hubby me and three cats. What kills me the most is that we bought this house over a year ago to "grow" in it. Its a 3 bd, 2 bath house, fenced in yard..wonderful. I know i cant give up yet.. but it just seems like all odds are against me. Then when i read today about women with pcos get pregnant the first time.. it most likely will end up a miscarriage because of "bad eggs". I dont know if i could put myself through that. Be excited then lose it.
sorry for dumping this on you... it just has been weighing down my heart lately.
lost 
