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10-31-2005, 09:49 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 75
Points: 3,259.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,259.00 |  Lost my father
My father died unexpectedly this month. So now I have lost 2 babies and my father in the last 6 months. I know we all have nothing but sad stories here, but I thought I was feeling fine about the last m/c and was ready to TTC again. But now I feel like I'm back at square one. I can't believe even if I do have a baby some day, my Dad won't be here to see it.
My grandmother actually said, "Well maybe there was just no room for one more. We had to lose one (my dad) to get one (a baby)." I was so shocked I couldn't speak. I wish I would have said that there is no way I ever would had traded my father for a baby. I know my grandmothrer meant this to be somehow comforting, but it was an awful thing to say.
I just wish things could go back to the way they were before all this happened.
__________________
me--39, DH 43
TTC since 1987
BFP-- 3/11/05 Met only
m/c-- 3/21/05 4w4d
Bfp-- 6/27/05 Met and progesterone
m/c --8/26/05 8w3d
1st round clomid 50 mg-O'd, BFN
2nd round clomid 50 mg --O'd, BFN
3rd round clomid 50 mg--O'd, BFN | 
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10-31-2005, 10:35 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Mommy-To-Be!!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 341
Points: 1,272.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 1,272.00 |
Mibell,
I just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers! I lost my father in 2000 and I know how difficult the sudden death of a parent is. Please know that things will get better. They will never be the same, but life will little by little get better. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
God Bless,
Connie
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ME (26) & DH (32)
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Married June 12, 2004
Miracle BFP!! 10-8-05 on a TTC break
Beta #1: 237 P4: 15.7
Beta #2: 601 P4: 21.8
Saw heartbeat 10-27-05 121 BPM!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.  | |
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10-31-2005, 10:42 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Loving being a mommy!
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,342
My Mood:  Points: 9,995.16 Bank: 7,344,171.81 Total Points: 7,354,166.97 |
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your father and your babies. What a difficult time you are going through.
I'm sorry that your grandmother made that remark. I think people sometimes say the worst things when they are trying to be supportive. Of course you would have liked your father to meet your child(ren) some day, and it's ok to grieve the loss of that.
I'm thinking of you and sending you warm (((HUGS))).
~ Darcy | |
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10-31-2005, 10:43 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | ~*~*~****~*~*~
Join Date: May 2004 Location: West Virginia
Posts: 5,090
My Mood:  Points: 4,710.57 Bank: 7,492,429.05 Total Points: 7,497,139.62 |
I am so sorry for your loss!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________ Carey(31)
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Paul(43) Married 7-25-02 PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02' Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08' Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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4 furbabies
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10-31-2005, 11:04 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 75
Points: 3,259.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,259.00 |
Thank you everyone for your support--it's so nice to have a place to fall apart a little. I'm just so tired of greiving. And now those 2 m/c feel like fresh losses to me. I'm not even sure I want to TTC now (and a month ago I was so excited to try again!). I'm just so tired.
__________________
me--39, DH 43
TTC since 1987
BFP-- 3/11/05 Met only
m/c-- 3/21/05 4w4d
Bfp-- 6/27/05 Met and progesterone
m/c --8/26/05 8w3d
1st round clomid 50 mg-O'd, BFN
2nd round clomid 50 mg --O'd, BFN
3rd round clomid 50 mg--O'd, BFN | |
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10-31-2005, 11:05 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Fishgeek Cyster
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southeast
Posts: 263
Points: 1,178.08 Bank: 124.34 Total Points: 1,302.42 |
I am so sorry for your losses! I lost my father suddenly last year, and still cry whenever I think about it. You are so broken right now. Just take time and heal and you can ttc when you are ready. You have a lot on your plate right now, so just take it easy. We are always here for you to get it all out. Big hugs for you and your family.
__________________
Joseph H.S. Mills (AKA Trauma Jewel) 1/18/36 - 3/1/04. I miss you dad!
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10-31-2005, 11:49 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Babysteppin Cyster
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 3,353
Points: 35,658.30 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 35,658.30 |
I'm just sending lots of warm thoughts and prayers to you...im so sorry for your pain right now. I lost my dad too...i know its hard.  [[[hugs]]] | |
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10-31-2005, 11:55 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Meh!
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,793
My Mood:  Points: 12,821.43 Bank: 0.04 Total Points: 12,821.46 |
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dad.
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. 
__________________
Celtic Spirit
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11-01-2005, 12:38 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | ...zzz...zzz...zzz...
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: A house that is missing its cat. ***sniff sniff***
Posts: 11,731
My Mood:  Points: 13,142.46 Bank: 12,282.21 Total Points: 25,424.66 |
I am very sorry for the loss of your dad, and of your babies. | |
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11-01-2005, 01:46 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Sad and Happy Mom
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 5,924
Points: 91,656.82 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 91,656.82 |
I'm very sorry about your dad. With every death or funeral, it dredges up previous losses and feelings, so this is completely normal. It is a sad time, and I hope that we can be an ear for you when you need one. (((hugs)))
__________________
Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs | |
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11-03-2005, 05:17 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Let's Go Red Wings!
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: West Michigan
Posts: 1,927
My Mood:  Points: 6,357.46 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 6,357.46 |
I'm so sorry to hear about your father's death.
***hugs***
__________________ Jules (34) Harrison (35)
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Sparky, our emergent cerclage baby, born at 23w1d on 3/4/07 through his cerclage. Died from NEC on 3/12/07.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Scooter 1/28/05 16w3d, IC
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Tater Tot 9/10/05 9w4d
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Pucky 6/11/07 blighted ovum Dx PCOS 10/2003.
TAC placed 6/28/07 at University of Chicago.
Moving on to IVF after a year of infertility and 3 Femara cycles. Lupron started on 7/27.
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11-03-2005, 05:20 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | eBayaholic
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: USA
Posts: 461
Points: 2,269.45 Bank: 8,323.20 Total Points: 10,592.65 |
I really reccomend this book: http://tinyurl.com/byc7z
Someone gave it to me after my grandmother passed away, and it has truly been a lifesaver!
__________________
Christian Cyster
Currently a university student, double majoring in Nursing and Public Health Education.
Metformin 1000mg/day
Spironolacton 50mg/day (acne/excess hair)
Amoxicilin 750mg/day (acne)
Tazorac Cream (acne) | |
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11-03-2005, 05:47 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: May 2003 Location: wenatchee, wa
Posts: 350
Points: 11,731.25 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 11,731.25 |
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I suddenly lost my father 7 years ago, it was so unexpected, I talked to him the night before and the next night he was gone. My husband and I had been trying and trying to get pregnant for 4 years. I had a family member say something similar to me and it hurt so bad. My dad died in Jan and I found out in April that I was pregnant with our first child....It was such a bittersweet moment, I missed him even more at that moment. It has been 7 years now and every time I see my son I think of my dad....There is not a day that goes by that doesn't feel like I just lost him.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and if ever need a shoulder or ear please email me anytime.... missjewell@aol.com
Bless you and your family
__________________
Melissa
dx 2001
Reno James 11-28-98
Dylan Anthony born 8-4-02
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11-04-2005, 01:59 AM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Missing Rivelino forever
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,587
My Mood:  Points: 171,732.88 Bank: 15,325,572.45 Total Points: 15,497,305.33 |
I'm sorry for your loss, and your grandmother's comment. I lost my Dad in 2001. We were expecting it (lung cancer), but for six months I kept picking up the phone to call him. I don't think you ever COULD prepare yourself for such a loss. Then I lost my grandma in 2003, and Rivi in 2004.
My therapist told me that each loss reopens the unresolved grief from prior losses. So I'd say you're perfectly normal to have all of those feelings jumbled right now.
((hugs)),
Viv | |
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11-09-2005, 03:04 AM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 75
Points: 3,259.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,259.00 |
Thank you everybody for your very sweet support. Losing my father really did open old wounds. Just when you think you're completely healed, the pain can knock you over again.
I wish I could hug all of you.
Michelle
__________________
me--39, DH 43
TTC since 1987
BFP-- 3/11/05 Met only
m/c-- 3/21/05 4w4d
Bfp-- 6/27/05 Met and progesterone
m/c --8/26/05 8w3d
1st round clomid 50 mg-O'd, BFN
2nd round clomid 50 mg --O'd, BFN
3rd round clomid 50 mg--O'd, BFN | |
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