BasilandLight,
My heart is going out to you, honey. ((((hugs)))) and more ((((hugs)))) I understand what you're going through. I lost both of my parents, too. My mom died five years ago, my dad four. Almost to the day, now that I think of it. I felt things when they died that I'd never felt before -- utter despair and depression and that something was torn away from me that I didn't know I didn't want to live without. The helpless feelings and sadness were overwhelming. There were days where I felt that everything I had lived for was gone. I don't know if you're feeling exactly these same things, but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this. I know that sometimes the people closest to you can't help you. That's when you need to find someone to talk to or to help you deal with this, whether it's a close friend, a minister, a counselor, therapist, etc. One place to consider looking for support is the local hospice chapter. In my area they have support groups for grieving family members. I wish to God I had known about them when my parents died, because I really needed something to help me get through. Honestly, take one day at a time. Take a walk every day. It's trite, but those two things were really the only things that helped me get through it all.
I hope this helps just a little. Feel how you're feeling; don't let anyone rush you through it.
Lost my father..can't do this again 
