Lost our baby~

emptyarms · 08-22-2007, 11:03 PM

I never thought I would be posting over here. I haven't even lurked. This has been one of my biggest nightmares and it came true. We lost our baby Monday 8/20. I am still finding it rather hard to stop thinking about what could have been. We found out only 3 days prior to the m/c but grew to love our baby in those few moments. My dr. was wonderful up until the m/c. I feel like I was just dumped or something. I was informed by the nurse, in a hallway full of people, that I did not have a viable pregnancy. I am trying to come to terms with all of this but find it hard when you can't even ask your doctor questions about what to expect. I feel as though I am bothering them with my questions and concerns. So thats why I am here! I have gotten more support from my cysters than anyone. I hope my questions aren't TMI but I have to ask!

I started bleeding 10am Monday and it has gotten much worse as the days go by. I know your supposed to pass it but was unaware of how bad that would be. I was only 4wks3days along and was told that there wouldn't be much. Today was horrible for me. I had cramps so bad that it felt as though I was in freakin labor or something. I was taking 2 ibuprohen (sp) 600mgs. It didnt do a thing! How long does this last? I think the constant reminder is making it harder for me. I will be so ready when it's done. I am assuming I wouldn't need a D&C b/c I was so early on. Is this true? Would you suggest getting an antibiotic for precaution? Any suggestions or answers would be great. Sorry for TMI!

TIA

Casey

carriebabbie · 08-22-2007, 11:50 PM

Casey,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had cramping pretty bad for almost a week. I too had a very early pregnancy loss, but had spotting/bleeding for three weeks.

I'm sorry, I know nothing will make this better for you. If there is anything you need or just to vent, I'll listen. Any of us will.

I hope your pain eases soon.

Carrie

justagirlgirlgirl · 08-23-2007, 12:06 AM

So sorry for your loss. I know how much you must've loved your baby even in such a short time.

With my m/c I experienced a lot of problems, including severe and incessant vomiting. I actually ended up at the hospital because I became very dehydrated and my blood levels were all screwy.

I also had severe bleeding and cramping that lasted for about a week. For me, it was similar to AF but a lot more intense - heavier and more painful. Of course, most of the time I was so sick and doped up on IVs and medicine that I don't remember a lot of the specifics.

If the bleeding gets too severe, you should call your doctor because you can have serious bleeding problems. And you should have a follow-up exam to make sure that everything is ok and that everything has passed. Some women have to have a DandC even at very early miscarriages.

Otherwise, this will be hard for a while, and it is something that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Just take the time that you need to grieve for your child, no matter what anyone says otherwise. You will go through a huge range of emotions and each one should be validated by you and those who love you.

And really, I know that nothing I say can really help to ease your pain, but know that there are others of us right here, who know how you feel and welcome your thoughts and venting with open arms.

(((hugs)))

sweetums · 08-23-2007, 01:46 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I'll be keeping you, your DH and your angel in my prayers. I can't answer your questions about the bleeding and such because my losses were very different, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am and that I'm praying for you.

Manders

hela · 08-23-2007, 06:41 AM

I'm so sorry Casey,
you DH and your angel are in my thoughts

big hugs

Hela xxx

nourania · 08-23-2007, 09:51 AM

I am so sorry!

SheriKCMO · 08-23-2007, 11:07 AM

I'm very sorry for your loss!! Most cases of early loss just take their own unique time to get finished, no antibiotic or anything is needed. My early loss took a couple of weeks, but it was much lighter than most. I hope yours is finished soon! (((Hugs))) And never feel bad about calling the doctor's office if you have questions, that's their job. You are always welcome to ask about these things here, though.

kwannabee · 08-23-2007, 11:25 AM

Casey

i'm so sorry...the insensivity of people sometimes just makes things harder...i cant imagine getting that kind of news in a crowded hallway.

i have to tell you, when i lost my girls i relied on the cysters here in this forum like a lifeline-they saved me thousands in therapy and i'm not joking. the feelings and visions that run through your head every waking moment can seem so overwhelming - get them out - share your pain with the girls here cuz they know how it feels - its like letting go of too much pressure in a balloon and it somehow makes you feel better a little just to 'talk' to someone who 's been through it. Believe me...i'd be on here at 3am pouring my heart out and bawling-and somebody would say something that still rings in my head even now - three years later - without fail my cysters got me through it.

Take care and i wish you all nothing but peace and comfort

lilalouise · 08-23-2007, 11:43 AM

(((hugs)))

I recently had my 2nd loss at 4 weeks 4 days... it isn't easy. Since this was my 2nd loss I was being very cerebral about the whole thing and not allowng my heart to get involved. That is not easy to do and I'm not sure I would want to treat things the same way I did before.

No one can tell you how long this physical ordeal will last, each person is different, but the emotional pain wil take a long time... if ever. I will be thinking of you!

Pam

OH and Kim was right on about these ladies... they saved me. And I don't mean that in a tivial way. When no one IRL knew what I was feeling, these women did. I will forever owe them and will never be able to repay that.

nicolette · 08-23-2007, 09:17 PM

I am sorry...........I too just lost my second baby last week. I have become numb after my failed IVf, miscarriage in May, and then the most recent one. You fall in love from the moment you see those two lines, and it is so hard to come to terms with someone that won't come to be. I will be thinking about you and praying that as time passess the pain will dull.

emptyarms · 08-24-2007, 12:32 AM

As I sit here and read your posts, I try to wipe the tears. They are good tears. I am forever gratefull for each of you. I find myself having moments when I feel like my life is terrible and how tired I am of dealing with this and the problems TTC causes. I have completely changed as a person and have let it get the best of me. I feel the only thing that keeps me going on those bad days are you ladies! I know I am not alone and I am just a click away! You all have been wonderful and helpfull in so many ways. I am so blessed! Thank you for all your posts and comments. May we all find peace!

Love,
Casey

Alexis · 08-29-2007, 11:39 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss!

I lost our baby last week and needed a D&C 1 week ago today. I'm here if you need to talk, I know exactly what your going through and were all here for you!

sunshine071899 · 08-29-2007, 07:45 PM

It is so amazing to me how much we can love such a small little thing in just a short amount of time. I truely am so sorry for your loss. I'm not too sure on the bleeding. I delivered a stillborn at 28 weeks on Aug. 16. (I was obviously further along then you) but I can tell you I'm no longer bleeding. Just some light spotting. I wish for you strength and comfort. Please feel free to email me if you ever want to talk.(((((HUGS)))))