I am miscarrying right now. I am in pain physically and emotionally.
We found out the Monday before Thanksgiving that I had a blighted ovum and then betas confirmed a drop in hcg. DH and I decided to wait and let it hapen naturally because we were hoping for a miracle.
I don't even know what to say. I feel like this is my fault because I was unsure that I even wanted a baby when we got pg. It took me less than a day to realize that I absolutely wanted this baby. And then it took me another week after I found out to completely quit smoking although I was only smoking 2-3 a day and only 1-2 the last week. But still..... The OB says it is not my fault.
I plan on going on BCP's because I am not ready for another baby or another pregnancy yet. But I wanted this baby and I am a wreck right now.
Can anyone tell me how long I can expect the bleeding to last?
Thank you all.
__________________ Heather 28
DH: Mike 30
DD: Hailey Susan
DX January 2002 through lap
Furbaby: Toby, my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
+HPT 4/7/04
Hailey Susan born December 12, 2004
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+HPT 10/10/06
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Im so sorry for you.((((Hugs)))) I bled for about four weeks or more.
__________________ Monique(27) DH(31) Dx: PCOS-1999, Diabetes II-2005 Aiden James born 6/17/08 1 Angel Baby due to pPROM and Inc. Cervix (7/20/06) 1 Furbaby Brownie the Chihuahua
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Me 31 / DH 28 Married to my Dutch Boy since 12/23/2000 Cancer Survivor - Leukemia Gloucophage XR,Synthroid,Zoloft,Prenatal TTC Since 5/2004 3 IUI'S A BUST Clomid 100mgs IUI 10/27/08 BFP "I'm going to be a Mommy" Beta 15DPO -108, 17DPO - 331 1st ultrasound 12/1 - strong heartbeat 2nd ultrasound 1/5 - Heartbeat 162 IT'S A BOY!!!!! EDD 7/19/2009
Luca Allen Maarten
Born 6/28/09
5lbs 15ozs 18inches
I am so sorry for your loss hun. On average the bleeding lasts between 7-10 days. You can bleed for less then that or more, my first 2 miscarriages the bleeding was between 7-10 days and my last miscarriage I am still bleeding now after 36 days. After my first miscarriage, my af came 28 days after, 2nd time about 3 months after. ((((Hugs))))
__________________ Kim - age 28 dx sept 02 DH Jay 39. Married 4th May 02. ttc for 9 years.
m/c November 02. m/c June 2005. m/c November 2006. Ectopic pregnancy October 2007
Meds - Glucophage, provera, reductil.
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Thank you all. This was such a rough weekend. It all came to a head yesterday when I spent most of the day in the bathroom. It got so bad that we almost went to the hospital for a D&C. I knew I did not want to have one but I was in so much pain and so tired. Luckily DH was strong for me and talked me into waiting until today to see if things improved. I am much better today. Now the bleeding is more like AF although the cramps are still strong, they are not contraction-like like they were yesterday.
__________________ Heather 28
DH: Mike 30
DD: Hailey Susan
DX January 2002 through lap
Furbaby: Toby, my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
+HPT 4/7/04
Hailey Susan born December 12, 2004
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+HPT 10/10/06
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Heather - I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and let your DH take care of you.
It is absolutely not your fault, although it's hard not to feel responsible. I got pregnant by surprise and although I was still struggling with it, when I miscarried it was still an enormous loss.
I'll be thinking of you.
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+ pregnancy test 6/19/06
M/C 8/21/06 at 13 4/7 weeks
+ HPT 9/13/07
Beatrix Adele born May 7, 2008
5 lbs, 17 1/2 inches
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I had a blighted ovum in March... when I found out I was pregnant I was over the moon and yet had a feeling it was a girl and I don't really want a girl. I mean I'll take a girl if that is what I have coming but I REALLY want another boy. Of course as soon as I thought that - "What if it's a girl?" - I thought, "It IS a girl and I am going to have a miscarriage for thinking that..." and then whaddya know, it was a blighted ovum and I had a miscarriage.
Of course I know I wasn't to blame because it was set to not work out even before I thought that but still. It's hard not to look for blame.
I did some less than perfect things with regard to MAYBE exercising too hard, not eating the best foods, too much junk, too much caffeine... I didn't give up caffeine as soon as I knew I was pregnant... really, I was no worse than when I got pregnant with my son and I figured if exercise and caffeine and junk food didn't hurt HIM, it's ok to not lay off right away... I did stop caffeine as soon as I knew with him, but I was further along and I figured I had some time to cut down. So I know I wasn't perfect but I also know I was not pregnancy-stopping imperfect, either. I could have done things differently, but I don't think it would have mattered.
I don't think your smoking caused it. People smoke their entire pregnancies and don't lose the baby. Sometimes we just put out bad eggs. Or sometimes DH just puts out a bad sperm. Or ... sometimes sh-- just happens.
It sucks, though, any way you cut it.
Anyway as for the bleeding... I induced my miscarriage with cytotec... I was around 7 1/2 weeks and it wasn't happening on its own. (I guess it gives me some optimism that my body will at least HOLD ON to a pregnancy, even if its a lost cause... it actually took two doses of the meds to make it kick in...) Once I started bleeding, I think it was like heavy period for about a week... and then it was very light off and on for maybe 4-5 more days. I passed the sac the very first day. Physically speaking, the whole thing was a lot easier than I expected it to be. Mentally... it sucked.
I hope your physical healing time is short...
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"We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt-stricken, sobbing, with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip..."
- the verve pipe
I'm so sorry.
It was definitely not your fault. Not everyone is completely excited when they find out they're pg. It doesn't make them bad, just human. But it's normal to try to put the blame on someone, especially yourself. Just remember that it wasn't your fault.
I think it's good that you don't want to try again for awhile. Not trying to replace the baby you just lost is good idea. We tried right away after our stillborn, and honestly, I wasn't too excited. Then I felt bad about that. But it made me miss our first more than before.
Nobody said what you do when you lose a baby has to be logical. We just have to recognize our feelings for what they are and try to deal with them.
M/C right now 
