Marriage Length

tariana · 03-02-2005, 05:25 PM

Most of the things I've been reading about adoption reference a length of time a couple must be married to adopt. Is this referring to the time they've been married at the beginning of the adoption process, or must they just have been married that long by the time a child really arrives at their home?

Sari · 03-02-2005, 05:55 PM

I think for the most part it's going to be the length of the marriage when you are applying for that specific program. Otherwise, you could get matched with referrals and have to turn them all away for 6 months, a year, however long it is until you meet the requirement. If it's only a month away or something like that, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem.

I know how hard it is/how frustrating to wait for these requirements, but it will all be worth it in the end. DH and I want to adopt from the Philippines, and you have to be at least 27 years old before you can apply for the program. That's over 4 years away for me! Waiting sucks!

tariana · 03-02-2005, 06:34 PM

Yikes. We only got married a month ago.

At this rate, and assuming we don't find a program that will take us being married less than 2 years, I'll be 28 before we even get to apply. That's waaaaaaaaay too old, to me, to just be starting with kids, but I guess that's the way it will be. On the upside I guess that will give us lots of time to get things figured out and in order. I'm just so ready to be a mom NOW! At least I know that there are others waiting too!

Lisa2008 · 03-02-2005, 08:30 PM

did you happen to live together before you were married? if so you could declare that you were common law, same as married. Hope that helps or you find something to work with.

~Traci~ · 03-02-2005, 08:57 PM

You really have to investigate to find out the requirements of each state/country.

I know China (the country we're going through) you have to be 30 & married for at least 6 months.

Commonlaw marriage isn't legal in some states (MA I know for sure) so claiming commonlaw marriage doesn't always work...

Good Luck!
Traci

tariana · 03-02-2005, 10:55 PM

No, DH and I didn't/don't believe in living together (or sex, for that matter) before marriage, so that won't help us. I wouldn't feel right using something I feel is immoral to get ahead in adoption, however much I might want a baby.

angrypcoser · 03-12-2005, 09:42 PM

Kati hon, I've posted this in another post that I can't find, LOL.

Now-a-days, this is when many women (or even later) start their families.

28 is by no means too old to start a family. I speak from experience. I am going to be 31 on April 1st, and have just now started the application process of adopting.

My mother had me 19 years after my first sister. She was 37. I just took her to lunch Thursday to celebrate her 68th birthday.

My sister will be 50 this year, and we're planning a big bash for her, and what's funny, I remember planning the bash for mom's 50th, also. LOL

Anyway, you see, I'm already grown and out of the house once my mom started feeling the "stings" of the normal process of aging, and mom was almost 40 when she had me.

She just now feels out of energy. Not bad for 68 years old.

tariana · 03-20-2005, 12:53 AM

Kristi,

Thanks for your reply.

I know there are women who are older that do a great job raising kids (my mom was one of them

; she was 32 when I was born).

I don't believe that age really has anything to do with ability to parent; it's just that I am SO ready to start a family NOW and it seems to be only delays and waiting and uncertainty for us.

It's just frustrating sometimes.