Masculinity

Patah83 · 08-01-2009, 11:38 PM

Hey there,

This board is a little quite so I thought I would ask about feelings of masculinity to all the rainbowed ones out there. I am a short and stocky stature with big boobs and I definitely feel feminine around males. However, around smaller women I do feel less feminine. I am bi. I feel less feminine because one I am tomboyish, but in addition I have coarse facial hair (requiring waxing and shaving) and being pretty strong despite my sporadic weigh lifting regime. Anyone with similar feelings or experience?

Zomog · 08-05-2009, 08:49 AM

Snap, I feel the same some times, I'm with a male partner but as I'm bi I still feel attracted to females sometimes.

MountainMouse · 08-06-2009, 03:51 PM

I've felt masculine since I was a little kid. When I partner with a male, I take the submissive role most of the time (except now with my fiance who is MtF transgendered). Around females, I feel dominant and more masculine than ever.

Patah83 · 08-07-2009, 12:11 AM

Do you think feelings of masculinity are reinforced by smaller women being hypersexualized compared to more robust women?

MountainMouse · 08-18-2009, 01:35 PM

*scratches chin and thinks that one over for a second* I've never thought about it that way, but now that I have, I would have to say no. I've met a few robust women who present themselves much worse than most of the cheerleaders from highschool and college. I've also met a few women who are very small in size, but are FtM transgendered. I think woman-based masculinity will remain a mystery for a long time yet to come.

Patah83 · 08-19-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MountainMouse

*scratches chin and thinks that one over for a second* I've never thought about it that way, but now that I have, I would have to say no. I've met a few robust women who present themselves much worse than most of the cheerleaders from highschool and college. I've also met a few women who are very small in size, but are FtM transgendered. I think woman-based masculinity will remain a mystery for a long time yet to come.

Ahhha! Good point. I have to admit that this question and perspective is totally coming from my own bias in attraction. I also must admit that I just returned to a normal population (I lived in Boulder, CO for a few years and they have one the lowest BMI's in the nation), thus I haven't seen many high maintenance robust women in awhile.

MountainMouse · 08-20-2009, 12:51 PM

Well, I guess where one comes from does make a big difference, especially if you come from a place where the general population has a lower BMI. I am in WV, and I live in an area where the population is split down the middle. Half of us, like myself, have rather high BMI, and the other half of us have nearly anorexic BMI. (It's truly a sight to see!)

So I've met all sorts of personalities under both weight categories. I think the most ironic / funny moment of my life is having a girl who was obviously 30+ lbs heavier than me call me 'fat' in high school.

A more interesting and more relevant point to this all, however, is that many of the women in this area whether obese or not have PCOS. Almost all my close friends who are female have it, and the most of them are bisexual or at least GBLT-accepting.

abygol · 08-21-2009, 02:54 AM

This is reallly interesting because all my life I have definetly felt more masculine and I thinks it becasue of some of the masculine traits. I have very dark course facial hair that I wax, but when i get in a rush for a few weeks and dont upkeep i look in the mirror and just go whoa im a man. its really easy to build muscle, when i was in athletics i was always the strongest on the team (it was long distance runners though we were all tiny). but i consider myself heterosexual but i think before treatment i had feelings towards women and i contribute (just a theory i have) it to the higher testosterone. because now i dont feel any.

MountainMouse · 08-22-2009, 04:47 PM

See, for me, even after being put on estrogen and other medications, I still had my defined sexuality intact.

My mother had even hoped the treatment for PCOS would be a 'cure' for my sexuality. Same goes with my sister.

On or off all the pills, I feel the way I do and always have... always will.

I guess it is different for others.

Patah83 · 08-23-2009, 12:17 PM

I think people overrate how they define themselves. I tend to think that people are just attracted to each other sometimes. Maybe there are only a handful of same-sex attractions they have or maybe just one, but I think society makes it so that one or few times doesn't count because heterosexuals don't want to be labeled gay or have same-sex feelings or attractions. Thus, in research men seeking men is how they define men who have sex with men, not gay or bi, or bicurious.

Humans are complicated as are our emotions and behavior. If testosterone makes me have feelings toward women, then what do you say about men with normal or higher testosterone (which can be indicated by balding) who are gay. It doesn't seem to hold water imho, but I'm glad you were able to "stop those feelings" if you were uncomfortable with them and it caused emotional distress.