The past week has been one big whirlwind. I am a full-time employee at a Dr.s office, a full-time student going into Corporate Law, and going back and forth to my Dr. I also just found out the my DNH, whom I love more than anything in the world, needs to have a heart transplant. We recently took him to his cardiologist because he has C. heart failure and the meds he had been taking his whole life hadn't been as effective as the new medicinal advances.
Like I said, it's great knowing what my diagnosis is, and it's nice knowing that I wasn't getting fatter because of my own self-destruction. I have really tried hard to limit what I do eat and take better care of myself...I am afraid of getting diabetes--the one symptom I don't have. I felt like I was losing weight and even my DNH said I looked thinner and people at work say I look thinner, but I just don't see it at all. I tried on a pair of pants today, that I have never had a problem getting on, and I had to struggle with them for 10 minutes in my determination to get them on...I refuse to be beaten by a pair of jeans!
The past couple of days I have just been so disgusted with myself to the point that I literally don't want to eat because I feel like crap afterwards. I have these thoughts running through my head that if I just don't eat for like a week or so I can rid myself of some of the fat I have. I know it's not the answer, and I have always been able to really keep my head up high, but I think the stress is just getting to me now. I need some sort of control in my life and at least if I could get my weight down then I would feel better, right? Even though I try to push the negative thoughts out, I am literally disgusted by food right now. My DNH makes me eat....well, persuades me to...and afterwards, I cry because I feel like I lost it. I just don't even know what's going on anymore...
__________________ Sandy-29. Single and actually liking it at the moment.
Mommy to a 70 pound lap dog, my big boxer baby Tyson and a 15 year old blind shih tzu.
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2003.
Medications include Lamictal 100 mg, Lexapro 20 mg, and Trazadone 150 mg for Bipolar Disorder. Starting Femcon Sept '08. Gotta get this big ugly PCOS monster back under control!
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I don't have any great advice... I really wish I had a magic wand sometimes. I understand how you feel with the weight issue... the worst part about dieting and exercising I find is when you are doing it religiously but are not losing anything... how to keep the motivation going is something I never quite could work out in that situation...
I don't know what eating plan you are following, but have you considered trying another one to see if that might kickstart the weightloss? I was doing low calorie/low fat with some light exercise and I found I lost weight well on that, but I was having sugar-highs and then slumps... I tried low carbing and didn't lose a thing - plus tmi I couldn't go to the toilet. So now I am doing a combination of the three... counting calories, low fat and cutting my carbs down... I really have found that I needed to experiment and find out what works for me. I know that other cysters have said this before. Just a thought.
Vicky-Louise
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Me, Vicky-Louise: 28 ~ BF: 27
Furbabies: Millie, Yorkie, 3 years old
Auntie to 3 furbabies: Cleo (Rescued dog), Asher (Papillon) & Pippin (Rescued kitten, now a big lazy cat!)
I am a pescatarian and on a low-calorie, healthy diet trying to incorporate as many low-GI and low-carb ideas as possible. I am also excercising - mainly by doing workout DVDs and walking our 3 dogs.
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Sending you hugs! Don't be so hard on yourself k! We can sometimes be our own worst enemies!
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
Maybe it's just me... 
