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Old 03-03-2008, 12:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Smile Men who's SO's desire Adoption

I was just wondering what is going through the heads of the guys when there signif. other asks them about adoption. Do you think it is an Okay thing?! Or are you opposed?
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Old 03-04-2008, 09:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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For my hubby adoption will be a last option. we will try donor egg before adoption so he still has a chance to pass on his DNA.
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Old 03-10-2008, 11:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I've talked to my bf about adopting...even if we are able to have kids of our own I still want to adopt...and he has been very supportive of the idea. He would still like to adopt even if we can get pregnant as well. My parents adopted my little sister and both of my parents loved having that experience. My dad wanted to do it just as much as my mom did and views my sister as a blessing. And my mom loved it because she didn't have all of the pregnancy symptoms so she was able to go shopping and do everything to get ready for my sister without feeling sick, tired, sore or anything. Although she says it was still one of the hardest pregnancies because it wasn't concrete until my sister's bio mother signed the papers after she was born so there was a lot of the bio mother going back and forth on going through with it. I don't understand why so many men seem opposed to adopting. I can say from the standpoint of a sibling that no one in my family has EVER felt like my sister wasn't part of our family just because she has different blood lines. When you adopt, that child is still YOUR child regardless of whether he/she shares your DNA. Anyway, that's my opinion on this. And I can say that my bf is very willing to adopt and I am very greatful for that. I don't know what I would do if I was with someone who was opposed to adopting because regardless of the means getting there I have a very deep desire to someday be a mom.
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Old 03-27-2008, 12:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Ya it kinda sux that men take longer to get used to the idea of adoption and some do not even want to consider it except as a last resort. I have always dreamed of being an adoptive parent even if I could have as many children of my own as I wanted. Today my DH told me that he does not want to consider adoption. I felt kinda sad about that
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Old 03-29-2008, 10:08 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I must have a weirdo (oh wait, I do)

My DH was completely down with adoption. He still wants to have bio kids, but so do I. I feel it's my rite of passage. If we still aren't PG by the next lunar eclipse (which is in about 2 years, I struck a deal with the moon on the last eclipse ) then we will be looking into adoption.
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Old 03-30-2008, 10:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I must have a weirdo (oh wait, I do)
haha, the weirdos are the best. my bf wants to adopt too whenever we get to that point. even if we can have biological kids too. I, of course, want both.
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Old 04-01-2008, 12:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Before I got pregnant, or knew that I could get pregnant, DH actually brought up the idea of adoption. He was totally for it and just wanted a child. He didn't care if it was biologically his or not.
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Old 04-01-2008, 05:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I can tell you this, I have been one that opposed Adoption because that was how I was raised, but for the most part Iand from talking to other guys I know, most seem to be good with it. Our big thing is, we want to have someone carry on our name. We prefer blood, but if our spuse/partner can't do that, we compromise. Just my 2 cents
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Old 04-02-2008, 09:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I can tell you this, I have been one that opposed Adoption because that was how I was raised, but for the most part Iand from talking to other guys I know, most seem to be good with it. Our big thing is, we want to have someone carry on our name. We prefer blood, but if our spuse/partner can't do that, we compromise. Just my 2 cents
I can understand that. As a woman I want to be able to actually carry a child for 9 months, although the giving birth part is a little scary, I still want to be able to experience that. And to experience forming a bond with my child before he/she is even born. I think that must be the most amazing feeling the world. But because of how I have been raised, and with my sister being adopted, I have just as strong of a desire to adopt as well. I'm hoping I will have both desires fulfilled...but I've got a few more years before I'll know. haha.
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Old 04-03-2008, 11:25 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Our big thing is, we want to have someone carry on our name. We prefer blood, but if our spuse/partner can't do that, we compromise. Just my 2 cents
humm.... I wouldn't say this statement to a woman struggling with infertility. What if the man was shooting blanks and the woman said, " I really want 'our' child' but if you can't do that, I guess I can compromise." I dunno, I guess the words just sat on my brain funny. If DH said that to me he would have to "nut cover" in defence
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Old 04-03-2008, 12:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by AriansHubby View Post
Our big thing is, we want to have someone carry on our name. We prefer blood, but if our spuse/partner can't do that, we compromise. Just my 2 cents

Well of course a man wants a child to carry his name. When you adopt a child you can give them your last name then it will be carried on. I'm lucky I also have a wonderful man that is open to adoption.

Kriket I agree with you saying that about what if your partner was shooting blanks. It can be a two way street so to speak when it comes to infertility.
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Old 04-04-2008, 10:58 PM   #12 (permalink)
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My husband brought up adoption before I did, though it is something I have wanted to do, long before I discovered it may end up being my only option anyway. He has been extremely supportive and gentle with me through all of this. Even if we do have our own biological child, we are very interested in adopting another child as well.
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