I think I am having a mental breakdown...I am not going to work, my husband is not speaking to me - he is completely ignoring me because he cannot deal with "it"
I feel so alone, no one seems to understand infertility depression, they say snap out of it, things will be fine. They are not fine. I have not eaten anything for 3 days, I am not even drinking... I can not hold anything down, I am so upset, and I dont know what to do. I feel really alone. I cant even think rationally right now, all I could think of doing was to come on this board and hope that someone has felt the same way? I thought I was coping with trying to conceive for the last few years, it feels like all of a sudden my whole life came crumbling down.
I have been a terrible person to my husband, and now he has turned his back on me....all I can say is I dont know what to do now, or who to turn to for help,
__________________ Trying to conceive since Feb.2005 Currently taking Vitex & Exercising To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Please go see your doctor. People telling you to "snap out of it" is not helpful, as you already know. I have felt this way about other things, and it's frightening.
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2001: Dx PCOS 2002: TTC begins, on and off 2007: Clomid #1-4- bust; HSG - clear; lap/hyst - right ovary anov. 2008: Ovaries/blood normal, mf -May: #1 Puregon/IUI cycle - poor response and more mf - bfn -Sept/Oct: Aiming for IVF/ICSI (getting myself super-healthy, first).
My treatments: Glumetza, prenatal + 4 mg folic acid, NAC, exercise, yoga, diet, TCM (incl. acupuncture and herbs). Dh: Vit + selenium, mangosteen, exercise.
I know it's difficult when you're feeling so low, but you really really must try and eat. I lived on pasta and bananas during my breakdown because it's all I could face! But my psych explained that when you get low on food it causes obsessive thoughts and just makes everything worse and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Please get some advice quickly, even if it's calling a helpline.
Do let us know how you're getting on.
__________________ Dianette
EPA fish oils
Zinc
Ground flaxseeds
Previously had success treating acne with good quality vitex/agnus castus
Thanks everybody for the support.
I just started crying and couldnt stop....for hours, days. It is so strange.
I went to a doctor, he gave me some medication to help cope. And I am seeing a therapist. Nothing is really helping so far. I still feel very depressed.... I just wish I had noticed this coming on before it got this bad.
I feel so down on myself - like a complete failure. And I was doing so good, I was going to the gym 4 days a week, losing weight, feeling better about myself and then BANG...I broke down. I tore every single picture of friends and family with babies down, and could not bare to hear ONE more question about "why dont we have kids yets" I think part of it was that my neighbour asked me the other day... "arent you planning on having kids, you are going to one day arent you?" I just stared at her, and blurted out.... "I have infertility issues" I think that was the start of the slippery slope to the bottom. You know how we say if I get asked that question one more time, I dont know what i'll do.... well it turns out I was asked that question one more time and I lost it...
__________________ Trying to conceive since Feb.2005 Currently taking Vitex & Exercising To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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i can perfectly understand how you feel, coz im goin through something like tat myself. its being pretty tough to cope. Though my husband says he understand he doesnt really do anything to make me feel any better....to top it all i have not been able to talk to any one regarding this...and things get worse if anyone asks me abt having kids...im not able to handle it.
just give urself a break, tats wat im trying really hard to do...trust me its not easy like wat ppl say- snap out of it...its tuff but pls try to help urself...coz no one apart from u can help u at this point...try to get a job or fcus on things u like.. music, books, pets, painting or even sleeping..it helps...take care honey.......just remember there r ppl in much worse situations than us...will remember u in my prayers
Thanks everybody for the support.
I just started crying and couldnt stop....for hours, days. It is so strange.
I went to a doctor, he gave me some medication to help cope. And I am seeing a therapist. Nothing is really helping so far. I still feel very depressed.... I just wish I had noticed this coming on before it got this bad.
I feel so down on myself - like a complete failure. And I was doing so good, I was going to the gym 4 days a week, losing weight, feeling better about myself and then BANG...I broke down. I tore every single picture of friends and family with babies down, and could not bare to hear ONE more question about "why dont we have kids yets" I think part of it was that my neighbour asked me the other day... "arent you planning on having kids, you are going to one day arent you?" I just stared at her, and blurted out.... "I have infertility issues" I think that was the start of the slippery slope to the bottom. You know how we say if I get asked that question one more time, I dont know what i'll do.... well it turns out I was asked that question one more time and I lost it...
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. If you can, try and view this time as a release of all the feelings you've been keeping inside, because we DO swallow our feelings as we're too busy being strong for the sake of other people!! But they have to come out sometime. Allow yourself to let out all the upset and imagine how cleansed you'll feel soon.
In my experience therapy and medication take time to help. Meds really helped me and I still have therapy.
Hope you start to pick up soon and you can put this time of your life behind you x
__________________ Dianette
EPA fish oils
Zinc
Ground flaxseeds
Previously had success treating acne with good quality vitex/agnus castus