Am I crazy for still having such emotional moments, more then four years after our loss? I really laid it into my husband last night, and he did everything he could, but I was a mess. The whole ball of emotions started after he told me his co-workers wife was expecting again. I'm feeling really stessed out these days, it seems like anything will set me off. Too much to explain really. I just don't want to go back to that really dark place. I know pain from a loss is always there, but sometimes it feels like it falls from the sky straight into your lap...
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"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
-Albert Einstein
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Sometimes its really hard but try telling your husband how your feeling instead of just laying it on him. Sometimes guys don't always understand. I try to tell my husband when I am in a bad mood so he won't take it personally. By talking it out instead of yelling it may help you communicate better.
sounds like you are human not crazy. do try not to take it out on dh though he is your partner in crime, he lost too, he just deals with it differently. have you thought about taking up an aggressive passtime like kickboxing, aerobics, or something to help you vent? it helps me a lot to wander in here and ramble everyday. a lot of days the sponsor ads on here make me cry....everyone is different be you and that is the most any of us can do...hugs
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who knew your heart could break and you could still breathe
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I don't have any advice, but I wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon.
__________________ Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
Gabriel born 19w5d 11/15/04 due to IC. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You are not alone, sweetie. If the baby is still not there in your arms, it still hurts. There is no amount of time that prevents us from having a bad day like that, especially if the world is handing us too much crap. I hope today is better.
Hugs!
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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sending hugs your way, cuz just a few nights ago i lay awake crying my eyes out thinking of my girls...so i know what youre feeling...everybody here does...
just keep putting one foot in front of the other..sometimes thats all you can do
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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Thanks ladies. I know you have all been there. I want to say that I didn't really spaz at hubby. He is sometimes too quick to comfort me, but this time I really just needed to say it all outloud, down to the last drop, before I needed any comfort from him. I agree, he's in on the struggle as well.
Thanks again, and although I don't post much here, I do read often, and I know I always have a place to vent, and no one will wonder what on earth I'm going on about.
Take care of yourselves.
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"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
-Albert Einstein
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Sparky, our emergent cerclage baby, born at 23w1d on 3/4/07 through his cerclage. Died from NEC on 3/12/07. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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TAC placed 6/28/07 at University of Chicago.
Moving on to IVF after a year of infertility and 3 Femara cycles. Lupron started on 7/27.
Like Viv said, I too expect to have "off" moments every day for the rest of my life. Not an hour goes by now when I don't think about my losses, and it's been over a year since the first one. My grandma had an infant girl who passed away at 3 or 4 days old and at least 1 miscarriage, and apparently she still mentioned "your sister whom I miss so much" to my dad and uncle even into her seventies. There is no set timetable for grief; it's a unique process to every individual.
Mini-meltdown 
There is no amount of time that prevents us from having a bad day like that, especially if the world is handing us too much crap. I hope today is better.
