On miracles... with Thomas Carlyle

Gift · 02-08-2004, 09:48 PM

This world, after all our science and sciences, is still a miracle; wonderful, inscrutable, magical and more, to whosoever will think of it.
Thomas Carlyle

I wanted to write about my miracle. I still can't believe it but am so grateful for it.

I started my period *chuckle* that doesn't seem like such a miracle does it? But after 22 years (give or take) at 36 I started my period. Regular as clockwork. No drugs. No real change of life habits, no real weight loss to speak of...(although *since* starting I have somewhat reduced my carb intake)

My story is simple, but it makes me realize that sometimes our minds are more powerful than we give credit. For the last 11 years I was in a relationship with a good man. Not necessarily good for *me*, but a good man. I wasn't happy, didn't know how to own that and spent a lot of time blaming *him* for my unhappiness. Last year around this time, we split up (for the 5th and final time). I moved out and in with my sister and began over again. It was difficult, but once I left I realized how unhappy I had been and started to own my *own* responsibility in why I was unhappy, I felt free. I'd been going to see a therapist for a while and one day I was sitting in her office talking. I was crying b/c we were talking about some difficult issues and I had to use the restroom. I found I had started my period. I thought it was just a fluke. I mean imagine, my whole life waiting for my period to start and suddenly it started with no drugs, no real changes... nothing.

One month later, I started again and have consistently been having it now for 6 months.

Perhaps, I *knew* I didn't want to have a child with my ex... and now? Now at 36, I am regularly having my period. After a life of thinking I couldn't get pregnant, couldn't have a baby of my own, I can actually *try* now if I meet someone with whom I'd like to have a family.

I don't *have* to have a child, but the miracle of my body suddenly working correctly still amazes me and I just wanted to share.

Do you have a miracle that has happened to you? One that defies rational explanation? I'd love to hear about them and I'm sure others would love to hear them as well!

Many hugs to all of you!