Miscarriage Coping Kit - missed miscarriage

hope4change · 05-13-2007, 09:06 PM

Hi all,

My DH and I found out last Monday that our baby died at 6 weeks and 3 days and were faced with a missed miscarriage -- I guess my body didn't register the baby's death yet and the doctors could tell via ultrasound.

Anyway, I was given a prescription of misoprostol to help things along and sent home, but otherwise I realized that I had no idea what items to have on-hand to help me through physically. I am grateful that we were at least able to spend this heart wrenching time at home rather than in hospital but there's just not that much information on how to take care of yourself when you're faced with the knowledge that a miscarriage is on the way (BTW if anyone has questions about my experience with misoprostol I am happy to answer. It was scary to go into the unknown and if I can help ease anyone's mind I'd like to try and help.)

Through a bit of research, talking with a dear friend who just went through this, and some thoughts of my own, I went out and bought some things that seemed to help ahead of time. For anyone who is faced with this daunting task, I hope this laundry list is of help. Let me say that I am definitely not an expert, this is just what seemed to help my own physical experience.

Items that helped me cope physically:
1. Hot water bottle -- Essential for cramping, especially lower back pain
2. Thermometer -- If you run a fever during your miscarriage you may need to go to the emergency room.
3. Extra strength Advil/Tylenol --- According to my doctor you can take both of these along with the misoprostol without concern for drug interactions. I'm an Advil girl so it really helped. I also tried Extra Strength Midol (usually great for my period cramps) but the advil seemed to work better. I bought the liqui-gel type for migraines.
4. Gaterade -- Might sound silly, but I stocked up on this since I wanted to keep my electrolytes up so I didn't get too weak from losing blood etc.
5. Ultra-thin overnight pads -- An obvious thing, since you absolutely can't wear tampons during the miscarriage process. I found Always Ultra Thin Overnights to be great since they provide a ton of coverage but don't feel like I'm wearing a mattress.
6. Personal Wipes -- I bought Playtex Personal Cleansing Cloths since they are flushable and help you feel cleaner. When you are living with pads everyday sometimes you just don't feel as clean as possible and these are super helpful. I'm going to pack some in my purse tomorrow since unfortunately it's time for me to get back to work. My friend said to use Baby Wipes, but to be honest I didn't want to be reminded of babies. The Playtex ones are marketed for women and they don't smell of baby (sigh)
7. A good book, crossword puzzle etc. by the toilet -- again, sounds silly, but I spent a lot of time there the last week and my mind needed some distraction. I chose Sudoku puzzles - maybe tmi! It took my mind off what was happening for a minute or two (God it is hard to be female sometimes.)
8. Any other creature comforts -- For me, this meant ice cream, chocolate and some good DVDs for time spent on the couch. I can get back to my diet in another week, but this time was all about finding comfort where possible. Luckily for me, my DH provided the ultimate comfort and I will be forever grateful.

Anyway, I know I didn't just post a piece of rocket science, but I was at my wits end never having been in this situation before. I know it's not much, but if it helps anyone else prepare I will be happy.

Wishing every one of you a successful next pregnancy. I share your pain and hope for a change next time.

HannahE · 05-13-2007, 10:34 PM

Thanks for sharing some very practical advice! I'm so sorry that you're going through this but hopefully your list will help others get through it easier.

Hannah

dazlebell · 05-14-2007, 12:00 AM

Thank you for sharing this info. I and many others are greatful that you were kind enough to share it with us. I'm very sorry you had to go thourgh this. I wish you and your DH the best.
Carol

SheriKCMO · 05-14-2007, 04:00 PM

I'm sorry for your loss!! ((Hugs))

southisland06 · 05-15-2007, 12:56 AM

Hi,

I just took misoprostol about 3 hours ago. I am really scared. I am currently getting strong cramps and the bleeding has just started a tiny bit. I am writing this laying in bed. Could you tell me what I should expect in the next little while, the cramps are getting worse.

HopefulCyster · 05-15-2007, 01:19 AM

I have never taken that, but I wanted to tell you... if the cramps get too bad, you have the right to go to the ER and get something stronger! I went into what my nurse called "labor" and it was the worst thing I have EVER felt... I then got vicodin after suffering/crying/writhing/puking for 3 days from intense pain... DON'T suffer if you don't have to! Don't be afraid to ask for something stronger!!!

Most women don't go into "labor" for early miscarriage, but some unlucky ones do... it is NOT something you need to suffer with, because you may be embarrassed or whatever. I was too embarrassed to go in... but thankfully the Nurse called me to check on me!!!! DH was on his way home to take me in, I was going to demand they cut me open! BTW, make sure you have a lot of pads, I bled like crazy! *sighs*

Hang in there, I am terribly sorry!

hope4change · 05-15-2007, 01:40 PM

Hi SouthIsland,

Don't worry you will be ok! I was SO afraid when I took the misoprostol. Do you have extra strength Tylenol or Advil on hand? I took them about an hour after I took the pills (I had to take 4 different doses over three days) so that they would ward off the cramping without affecting the drugs initial efficacy. It seemed to help. Also, do you have a hot water bottle? This greatly helped my back cramping since my lower back was aching terribly when I took the misoprostol. To be truthful, my regular period cramps with the PCOS are utter agony so I found the misoprostol didn't hurt as much as my usual period (I am generally in a fetal position once a month to the point of vomiting).

Everyone is different but it actually took me three days of discomfort before I passed materials. I spotted/bled for two days and then when I took my final dose everything happened at once. I had a lot of blood loss as well as tissue and clotting. Some women do miscarry on the first dose, from what I have read. But this wasn't my experience.

From what I have read, if you get a fever or chills, vomiting or soaking through 2 pads within two hours then you should go to emergency. I wouldn't call my misoprostol experience pleasant but luckily none of that happened to me and I hope that you are ok. If you have any questions I will check the board again.

Thinking of you during this difficult time. I hope you are ok. Take good care of yourself.

southisland06 · 05-15-2007, 02:43 PM

So I had a very painful night. I kept waking up to intense cramps. I would go to the bathroom and sit with cramping. On about the third trip of the night I heard a noise of something in the toilet and looked down and it looked like a huge blood clot about the size of a small ball (sorry to be graphic). The bleeding comes and goes but it take a while to need to change my pad. I am still getting cramps every 10-15 minutes. They come in waves and just when I think I can't take them anymore they die down. I feel very weak and exhausted but feel like this isn't all of it gone.

My question for all the ladies who have taken cytotec.....do I need to take the 2nd dose I was given? I feel like there is still so much pregnancy tissue inside of me (even though I have no way of knowing). The doc said if I had no cramps to take the 2nd dose but would it be so bad to take it anyway. I just want to be sure it is all gone.

Should I take the 2nd dose to make sure I have miscarried it all or will taking the 2nd dose be bad for me?

hope4change · 05-16-2007, 12:06 PM

I'm so sorry to hear you are having a hard time

It certainly isn't easy. It sounds like our prescriptions are quite different since my misoprostol was to be administered four different times so we likely had different doses. Also I wasn't allowed to just take some of it - had to take all of it. It seems strange that your doctor gave you an option since how are you supposed to know when things are finished or not? This is such a confusing time. Can you give your doctor a call? I think I passed most of the material on the weekend (I did bleed a lot, especially on Saturday) but I still get the odd cramp and sometimes still pass a bit of clotting at night. My next step is to get an ultrasound to see what is remaining (god, I hope this stuff passes!) and an hcg test and then my doctor will discuss whether things are ok or if I need to take drugs again or a d&c (I hope not). I think maybe you should call the doctor so you can get some peace of mind. I'll be thinking of you and hope you are ok.

southisland06 · 05-16-2007, 02:27 PM

Thank you for your kindness. I am glad you are doing better now and over the worst.

I bled a bit on Monday night but on Tuesday things kind of slowed down. I called the doctor and he said to take the 2nd dose today. So I have to go through this lovely cramping again. I am just having light bleeding right now so hopefully the 2nd dose will get everything out and I don't have to do anything more.

I have a follow-up appointment/ultrasound on Friday. When is your next ultrasound? I just want this behind me so I can move on and try again. I have also read that fertility is increased after a miscarriage so I want to jump on that if I can! Does having a miscarriage help women with PCOS ovulate? I never ovulate on my own without using drugs so I was hoping i might get a natural ovulation my own after all of this....wishful thinking

I keep waiting for my pregnancy symptoms to go away but they are still hanging around. I guess they have been here for 4 weeks now so they aren't going to disappear in 2 days. I was 8w1d when I took the cytotec. The sac only measured just over 5 weeks and it had a yolk sac, not sure what that means but I think it is a good thing because more than just implantation happened.

Thank you for helping me through this.

hope4change · 05-17-2007, 12:01 PM

Hi again SouthIsland,

We're on the same schedule -- I go in tomorrow for the ultrasound and bloodtest too! I'm actually dreading it ... I'm mostly feeling better but I still have some cramping/bleeding at night. It's weird because I am super light during the day, it usually happens after supper. More like long and stringy (sorry tmi). So, I am worried about what they'll find. I just really am feeling exhausted. Good luck with your second dose of cytotec -- I'm glad that you spoke with your doctor so you have some clear direction. It's so hard not to know.

I feel exactly the same as you re: trying again. I have heard that fertility goes up for like 3 months after a miscarriage. Only thing is, I go to a fertility specialist, and a gynocologist, and the specialist said I have to wait 2 cycles before trying again. Something about not being "allowed" to try before that. I have no idea if that is just regulation on their clinic's part or what. My friend just got pregnant about a month and a half after her miscarriage. She doesn't have PCOS but it did take her and her DH 8 cycles before they got pregnant the first time. I wonder about ovulation. I was on metformin but I have taken myself off of it until the miscarriage subsides. I didn't want it in my system while I was taking the misoprostol and to tell the truth I'd like to go for cocktails with friends before getting on track again (I didn't drink on met). Just would like one week of normalcy once this is over so I can feel like a regular person before starting the diet restrictions etc. again. I have insulin resistance with PCOS and have crap cycles (they've gotten really long - like 60 days!) but I wasn't diagnosed for 8 years because I think my GP wasn't tipped off since I don't have a weight issue -- I didn't look like the "classic" PCOS so I was never tested. The medical system sucks sometimes.

Anyway, thinking of you. Fingers crossed and hugs.

southisland06 · 05-17-2007, 03:12 PM

My 2nd dose of cytotec was a lot easier than the first. I got a few more small clots but nothing like the 1st dose. I am feeling much better today and I am having mild to moderate cramps with a moderate amount of bleeding. It is on and off and gets heavier sometimes and then tappers off. The blood is stringy and has a lot of mucus in it. So we sound a lot the same. I wonder how long I will bleed for, I have a feeling it could dribble on forever. I am glad the worst is over (I hope). I have my appt first thing tomorrow morning. I am in the same boat as you hoping that everything is "washed out" and we can move on.

I think we very similar. I am a thin cyster as well and my GP never thought I had PCOS because I am not a "classic" PCOS type. I do have insulin resistance but have it under control with my diet and metformin. My cycles when I wasn't doing fertility treatments were about 60 days long as well.

My fertility doc knows that I don't like waiting so I have to wait one cycle before going on to my next IVF. I think he will put me on the BCP for a few weeks and then when I come off with that period I can start stims. I will see what he says tomorrow. I also need to get my HCG to 0 so that could be slow or fast.....I'm hoping it drops fast but knowing my luck it will slowly creep down.

Let me know how your appt goes tomorrow and I will post how mine went. It is nice to know someone who is going through the same thing at the same time

HOLLAND · 05-17-2007, 03:27 PM

I've never been pregnant before so of course I've have had a miscarriage. I really think it's great that you started this thread! It's nice to know that I have the info if I ever need it (hopefully not). I'm sure other SC will appreicate it as well!

I'm sorry to all of you that have had to go through this

rachenyc · 05-17-2007, 05:44 PM

Hi friends,

Am currently almost done with my second m/c - this one was at 5 weeks, last one was at 8 weeks but really 6 - no hb detected.

I took misoprostipol or whatever and had the exact same experience you all are having. Honestly, you do bleed for awhile but it is lighter and tapers off. I think I bled for 2 weeks all in.

It was so awful. I am so sorry you are having to go through it. This m/c, while awful for different reasons, was physically easier. I had a really low beta and while it doubled it didn't go up enough I guess. I was more prepared this time.

I too have heard fertility goes up - we are not doing any more cycling right now so we may just try the old fashioned way while pursuing adoption. I too am a thin cyster and am on met. I guess I am IR but not badly - the only PCOS symptom I really have is these dang long cycles

Wishing you all luck - I am sad to be here but it is better than trolling the PG or TTC boards. at least we all understand each other.

Take care, all.

Tia38 · 05-17-2007, 06:35 PM

hugs to you all... very sorry for your losses.

if you haven't seen it before www misdiagnosedmiscarriage com (add the dots) is a very helpful site. the name is a misnomer; while some of the women go on to have babies, many also m/c.

i found a lot of good info before, during and after my m/c last year. some of the info is echoed here on SC, but for me it helped to be in a place where more folks were like me (if you know what i mean). i don't recall if there's a pcos-specific area, but i saw many posts similar to the OP on this thread (as in "my story"). also lots of topic specific boards on medicated m/c, natural m/c, follow up, waiting for hcg to zero and so on.

wishing you all the best as you move forward,

hugs,
-tia